Now Entering The Terrible Twos

On a quiet New Year's Eve two years ago today, Bourgeois Nerd unobtrusively exnihiliated into being in cyberspace. A couple of years later, who would have ever thought it'd still be around?!? I'm glad it is, though.

Doing this is a real pleasure for me: it lets me vent and express myself in a way that would be impossible otherwise. But what I really want to do is thank you, dear readers, for making Bourgeois Nerd the C-List blog it is today! Without you kind people, I'd just be talking to myself here and that'd just be really sad. So, tonight, while you guzzle down the champagne and blow your whistles, raise a glass to yourself.

Me? I'll be lame as always, watching the ball drop in Times Square from the comfort of my family room and probably working on new posts for your enjoyment. Cheers!

Cyber Addictions

Some people just can't get e-nough!

I'm very aware of my Internet addictions. I check my email and blogs constantly. I'm always on my Site Meter. And I can click the "Random Page" link on Wikipedia for hours at a time. But I can stop at any time! Really!

I'm Sure The Germans Already Have A Word For It

Potentially useful neologism: Google-thwart.

(Via Books, Inq.)

Lazy Schmazy

One has to say this for us lazies: when we need to, we sure can book it! Right on, my slothful mammalian sister!

You May Bow And Scrape Now

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: His Exalted Highness Duke Frank the Indecisive of Tempting St Mary Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Emperor Frank the Winsome of Much Leering Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: The Right Reverend Frank the Decent of Longer Interval Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

(Via Pharyngula)

Eye Color

The genetics of eye color is a lot more complicated than is often taught.

Keats Thinks...

...we're all little bits of God. Sometimes, in my more mystical moments, that's what I think, too.

Keats is my favorite "Big" Romantic, BTW. Byron's too much of a Personality, Shelley a little too posh, Coleridge too... something (I don't know what), and Blake too freakin' weird.

It's All Connected

It's all so postmodern: Foucault, department stores, and YouTube.

(Via Maud Newton)

Someday!

Someday, I'll be on The American Heritage Dictionary Usage Panel and show them all!!! *MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!*

(Via Maud Newton)

For Gunn

Pursuant to the question in your latest comment, I present the Cute Overload Glossary. As I suspected, "prosh" is short for "precious." It's always nice to be proven right!

What A Deliciously Macabre Historical Event!

The Cadaver Synod

(Via Cute Overload of all places!)

After Christmas

I hope everyone had a nice Christmas and got everything they wanted from Santa. I did well, myself. Nice, quiet day with family.

If you're back at work, condolences. But there's New Year's and the blog birthday to look forward to!

Merry Christmas To All!

Don Thee Now Our Gay Apparel...

And so on...

Our Inner Twelve Year-Old Emma Bovarys Have A Lot To Answer For!

The dangers of romanticism.

(Via We, Like Sheep)

I'm Too Nice, Damnit!

You Were Nice This Year!

You're an uber-perfect person who is on the top of Santa's list. You probably didn't even *think* any naughty thoughts this year. Unless you're a Mormon, you've probably been a little too good. Is that extra candy cane worth being a sweetheart for 365 days straight?

Were You Naughty or Nice This Year?

(Via Professorial Confessions)

Christmas Eve

If you're already sick of the caroling and eggnog and cards and such by now, here's a Christmas-related article to cleanse the palate: Christmas science.

Proud To Be Behind The Times

I'm with Frank and Maxine: you aren't going to see my mug or my dulcet tones plastered all over the blogosphere any time soon, I can assure. It's great for people who want to/can, and can be done really well, but it's not for me. I much prefer the "written" word.

Go Green By Going Yellow!

Recycle your urine.

Thinking Of Flying Off To Russia?

Don't. The airports are crap, apparently.

(Via We, Like Sheep)

This Will Only Mean Anything To My Gay Readers

Is it just me, or do you look at the pictures on Big Muscle just as much to see the captions the guys put on them than to ogle the pictures themselves?

Google Doodles

You know on special occasions those customized Google logos? Well, here's the guy who does them and an archive of the ones they've done. Very cool.

(Via Petrona, via Books, Inq.)

Extreme, Man!

Little fish survive hot water, sulfuric acid, quite contentedly. The more we discover about the ways and places life thrives, the less surprising it seems. Life's one determined and inventive little bugger!

Don't Read That!

If you're headed out to the bookstore in the near future, some tips on what to avoid.

There's only one tip I disagree with: "Any history that contains, before the text, more than four pages of maps." Maybe it's just me and my mapophilia, but I say the more maps the better! And genealogical charts, too, please!

(Via Smart Bitches)

The Virgin...

...Flora? A lizard Christmas miracle birth? Wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh?

(Via Defamer)

It's Hard Out There...

for a working pug!

(Via Cute Overload)

Ideal Weight And BMI

Anyone know a good way to calculate what one's ideal weight would be? How about this Body Mass Index thing I'm always hearing about? I mean, Google will give you all sorts of calculators, but there seems to be some controversy over what the best indices are and I was wondering if anyone had an opinion. Scott?

Create A Word!

Are you ready to get a Verbotomy? It won't hurt a bit and you'll still have all of your brain when you're done!

(Via Books, Inq.)

You Like Me! You Really Like Me!

Not that I don't deserve it, but I totally didn't expect to be named Time's Person of the Year! I'm just incredibly honored and hope I can live up to the title!

*end sarcasm* Seriously, people, this has to be the stupidest thing a magazine has ever done. They totally just said, "We don't feel like doing any work this year, so just slap some silver on the cover and appeal to good old American narcissism!" Piffle, I say, piffle!

(Originally via The Fagat Guide)

Huh?

13 Things That Do Not Make Sense

(Via Books, Inq.)

Nemesis

Another reason why I'm glad I decided against grad school. Though I would have liked to have gotten a chance to do some of these things.

(Second link from comment.)

RIP

The Chinese River Dolphin is presumed extinct.

America

One Brit's explanation of why he loves America is, much more eruditely and concisely, pretty much why I love America, too. As awful as America often is and has been in the past, and as many crimes and bungles and stupidities it commits, we always want to be what we've told ourselves we should be. As one commenter to that post says, we're adolescents, with all the problems that implies. We can be cocky, unthinking, cruel, and bullying. But we can also be hopelessly energetic and idealistic and

(Via Books, Inq.)

Can We Do Nothing Right?

As much (or as little) as we try to reverse, or at least ameliorate, our environmental disruption, we just don't seem to get things right. It makes sense, I guess; it's much easier to break something than to fix it. Still, it's all rather discouraging.

Pimping

I've been asked to help pimp the 100th chapter of Tony Hayden MEality. Tony is a guy from Orlando, Florida who has, over the past two years, documented and shared his life with the world via his video blog (or "vlog"). It's an adorable, funny, often poignant look at a hot man and his adorable dog. Check it out.

Sexy (?) Geeks

Now, I find nerds/geeks very attractive. The women on this poll of Sexy Geeks are definitely attractive (and I bet they like SF, too!) The men on the list, however, are a little... lacking, shall we say. The only one I find hot is Ben Brown. He's rocking the 70s clone look, I think.

(Via Bad Astronomy Blog)

I'm CRAZY, Y'all!

Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

(Via The Little Professor)

Why Nerds Are Unpopular

I am a nerd. I'm quite proud of this fact. I embrace and revel in it. But I didn't always. Between, say kindergarten and maybe sophomore year of high school, being a nerd really hurt. I had no real friends; I felt alone and under siege. Every day of school was a social obstacle course. The ultimate goal? Not being picked on or taunted that day. Because nerds aren't popular and the unpopular are nothing but prey in school. The whole gay thing didn't help things, either. All of this "flowered" into full-on depression by my junior year of high school.

But why? Why are nerds so unpopular? Why is high school just such a hell in general? The answer. The writer is pretty much spot on in his assessment and raises some really thought-provoking points about the root causes of the hell that is adolescence. You really should read it; it puts all of your childhood and adolescence pain into articulate expression.

(Via Pharyngula comment)

It's A Bird! It's A Plane!

It's a Jurassic mammal!

Amp'd Mobile Commercial

You know that commercial for the "hep," "cool," and "edgily apostophred" Amp'd Mobile, the one where a father sends his reluctant son off to do an extreme sports bike trick on a ramp, only to have the kid fall off the ramp halfway while fireworks flare? Who is that guy who plays the father? He looks soooo familiar, but I can't come up with from where.

The English Are Just So Much More CIVILIZED!

Instead of boinking little boys, all this English clergyman did was get wasted at the Irish embassy's Christmas party (can you imagine the booze?!?) and forget his stuff in a stranger's car! Much more wholesome.

Hubba Hubba (Slightly NSFW)

(Via The Pretty Boys Club; via Bill in Exile)

Cats, Cats, Cats

My cat hates you. No, I don't actually have a cat (I'm more of a dog guy, anyway), but if I did have one, I'm sure he would hate you.

Speaking of cats: Men and Cats.

(Via Nimue)

All Those Who've "Lost" Things...

...can sympathize with this poor man.

(Via Bookninja)

You Are Getting Very Sleepy...

Cute Things Falling Asleep

(Via Defamer)

Jokes

Reaching the end of a job...

Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT what kind of a salary he was looking for.

"In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

"Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years...say, a red Corvette?"

"Wow! Are you kidding?"

"Yeah, but you started it."

Technology-Enabled Amoebas

How do amoebas keep in touch?

With cell phones.


Electricity Mathematics

Q: How many men does it take to screw a light bulb into a socket?

A: One -- because men will screw anything.

	What's green and smells like ...
	What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger

(Via Comedy Central Jokes)

Secrets

Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?

Snuffy's Suicide Attempts

Poor baby, life is rough for you, huh? No one seems to see you, no one notices your pain--except for your friend Big Bird, but he's alway off hanging out with his other friends. You wish you were him, all happy and curious and popular and bright yellow. You feel like his shadow anymore, like the only reason you exist is to amuse him. It's hard being somebody's imaginary friend. But stop trying to kill yourself--imaginary people can't kill themselves. Sorry. And hey, maybe tomorrow you'll feel better! Someday people will see you, I promise.

Take this quiz!

(Via KulturFluff)

Brilliant!

Who links here? These guys! Looks like I have some adding to do to the links list...

(Via Nimue)

Words Fail (Slightly NSFW)

You just have to guffaw and goggle at this ad. I mean, WTF?!?

Lawyers Are Cheap Bastards

lawyer's treat

A phrase implying that each shall pay for his own drinks. A lawyer never treates his clients at a refreshment bar--they "defray the cost" between them.

--Trench Johnson's Phrases and Names: Their Origins and Meanings, 1906

(Via Forgotten English Page-A-Day Calendar by Jeffrey Kacirk)

20 Days Until...

...my blog birthday! Yep, Bourgeois Nerd enters the terrible twos this December 31st. Should I do anything special, do you think?

Do You WANT Me To Seduce You?

(Via Daily Hysteric, via Nimue)

All Is Words

If you're a word nerd with a few extra dollars, why not consider a subscription to The Vocabula Review? It's firmly prescriptivist (*boo, hiss*), but looks rather amusing. Unfortunately, I'm poor and therefore can't dole out the money necessary to read the thing entire, but if you have $25 lying about, go on and treat yourself.

(Via Books, Inq.)

Lists, Lists, Lists

2006 is a-closin', so we're inundated with lists for best this, worst that, etc. Frankly, most of them are uninteresting. But the bitchy ones are always worthwhile (or so says my cold, bile-filled heart), so I present The Worst Book Covers of 2006.

(Via Books, Inq.)

It's IN, Damnit!

I'm a pretty laissez-faire kind of descriptivist. But Pyramus hits one of my few irrational linguistic hang-ups: you stand IN line, not ON line! I HATE "on line." Not only is it just a matter of euphony and, you know, making sense, it's also a matter of regional pride.

I live in South Jersey and we say "in line," like any normal person would, but North Jersey, with its NYC influence, says "on line." Since we think they're mobbed-up snobs and they think we're hicks, this little linguistic matter is one of many points of contention we find to snipe about. *hehehehehehe*

Guitar Or Orgasm?

You decide.

(Via Gay.Fleshbot)

"People Are Just Mean."

Yeah, Lindsay, pretty much. Also? They're dumb.

Women Aren't Funny...

...because they give birth! Or something. I'm not sure. Hitchens has a few good points (i.e. women don't have to be funny like most men feel they have to to get laid), but then goes off to... somewhere. Misogynyland, I think. Anyway, it's still worth a read, if only to get the old blood pressure up.

(Via Gawker)

Kids Today!

They just don't know comedy!

(Via Bookninja)

Humping Or Helping?

Is it just me, or does this video of a dog humping a cat's head kinda look like he's doing a weird Heimlich Maneuver? He's not humping it, he's saving its life! (BTW, I can only shudder at what sordid revenge that cat has since taken. Felines are cold, y'all.)

(Via Defamer)

Dog Food

(Via Gentleman's Canine Society; Cute Overload)

I Have A Problem...

I think I use "*LOL*" and "*hehehehe*" too much. Sometimes, my emails and comments on other blogs look like a teenager's giggle fit. But what is one supposed to do to indicate amusement while typing?!?!? It's hard to convey wry wit non-verbally.

MySpace

I'm not into the MySpace thing. I have nothing against anyone who is, since a lot of people seem to get enjoyment out of it, but I have enough rejection in my life without having to stare at a screen that tells me how many friends I [don't] have. Plus, I like being an "old-fashioned" "rebel"; I don't have any sort of IM program, for instance, and refuse to get one. If you want to talk to me, you'll just have to type out an email! I'm old-school like that.

Anyway, what really turns me off is the layout of those MySpace pages. Gah! You'd think that with all that Murdoch money, they could come up with some less eye-bleed-inducing templates, but I've yet to find one that is true a) readable and b) aesthetically pleasing.

I Think It Was "Phlegmatic" That Tripped Me Up

Your Vocabulary Score: A-

Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary! You must be quite an erudite person.

How's Your Vocabulary?

(Via Books, Inq.)

Exercise

I'm not a gym person. I'm not an exercise person. I'm not a sweat person. Partly it's because I'm, constitutionally, a lazy motherf*#%er. Partly it's because I'm "of the mind" more than "of the body" (aren't I just the fancypants snob?). And partly it's the fact that being an unpopular and unathletic nerd in gym class for twelve years has scarred me for life and ingrained a bone-deep aversion to physical activity.

Unfortunately, however, I'm not one of those genetic freaks blessed with the ability to do a push up every third year and still have a smoking body. So, though it somehow seems ironic to ask this on a blog (which isn't the world's most physical medium), I was wondering if you, fair readers, had any exercise regimens you wouldn't mind sharing, preferably those not involving a lot of (or, preferably, any) equipment. Something simple, with a good chance of being sticked with for a while, would be ideal. My fitness goals are rather modest: to combat a flabby chest (I'm dangerously close to developing man boobs, though ones barely requiring even a training bra), a bulging stomach, and thin arms. My ass and legs are pretty good, actually, but I don't want to neglect them, either.

Really, I just want everything to "work" together better, be more proportional and aesthetically-pleasing. Due to genetics, diet, and a lack of will to dedicate to the really strenuous working-out necessary, I will never have the sculpted body of a real Gay, or even the manly solidness of a bear, but I can improve. Advise, please!

Help A Fella Out

Vince needs help with his new crush: gay or straight?

I'm Sooooo Un-American

I've never been much of a fan of Norman Rockwell. Too schmaltzy for my tastes. But he certainly has his fans.

Is It Weird That I Kinda Want To Watch Them?

The Ten Least Successful Christmas Specials of All Time

(Via Books, Inq.; via Brian Appleyard)

I'm A Good Girl, I Am!

How evil are you?

(Via Professorial Confessions)

An Ass To Weep For (NSFW)

A Visit From The First Dog

Frankly, I think the troops would be cheered by a visit from Barney, moreso than one by his master. He's much cuter and probably more intelligent. (I know, a blogger making fun of Bush! How unique. Aren't I just the transgressive one?)

Anne Geddes

You know Anne Geddes, that photographer who seems to have based her career on taking pictures of babies? Well, for some insane reason, in our powder room my mother has these three pictures of "adorable" babies in "adorable" olde-tymie bathing caps "adorably" sitting in sinks metal tubs filled with flowers. This has never been a problem (besides an aesthetic one) before, but I've just realized that the babies are watching whenever I pee! Yeah, they're just pictures, but still! It's really freaky-feeling.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeere...

...the gays are! Someone waits for me...

(Via Gawker)

Do Your Civic Duty!

Vote for the 2006 Word of the Year! Can't think of anything? How about, say, "bourgeois"? Or what about "nerd"? Just saying...

(Via Gawker)

Wow, I Thought I Was Z- (Possibly Y-) List!

Updates

Bill and Scott have moved out of Blogger to their own site here, complete with redesign. Tweak your links and bookmarks accordingly. It will be the same high-quality smut we all love, but please give forgive any "wonkiness" there may be for a while; Scott needs some time to get used to WordPress. You know how it is with old people and technology. The poor dears just can't learn as fast as us whippersnappers.

Meanwhile, Vince is sporting a nice, shiny new template. It's terribly pretty, and the writing's as good as ever, so do make sure you check it out.

I Know Nothing About American Lit

I only got four out of eleven on this quiz. I hang my English major head in shame. Can you do any better?

(Via Bookninja)

Nuvaring

Now, as hard as it is to believe, I'm not personally well-acquainted with vaginas and spend very little time contemplating them. However, I keep seeing this commercial for Nuvaring, forcing me to think about those yeasty caverns from which we all spring. From what I can gather, this Nuvaring thing, which looks an awful lot like those plastic bracelet things I remember girls wearing by the dozen in my childhood, goes up the vagina and, presumably, releases birth-controlling hormones into the porous lining.

But what happens when you're on your period? Do you take it out or do you just insert a tampon to keep it company? And what of sex? It would be a very effective birth control method indeed if you had to keep it on for that. But the real question for any visiting lady is this: would you want to carrying around a plastic bracelet in your hoo-ha all day?

*Shudder*

Only look at these pictures if you're not at work, not around small children, and have a very, very strong stomach.

(Via Gawker)

I Light Incense And Sing Hymns Of Praise To Mine

Are books sacred objects or easily disposed of commodities? Obviously, I tend towards the former position; I have a terrible time giving up books, even books I know I'm not going to read again or just don't like. I'm half afraid that I'll need it again and half afraid that I'll throw away a book that, in twenty years time, will be a collectible and worth all kinds of money, but of course I'll have thrown it away and live in abject poverty because of it. I love my irrational fears; they're so bizarrely fun!

(Via Books, Inq.)

Dirty Dictionary

Where the OED fears to tread, there's the Double-Tongued Dictionary.

(Via Maud Newton)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Book Smell

I'm not the only one with a book sniffing fetish! That makes me feel much less of a freak.

(Via Books, Inq.)

Apocolypse Averted... For Now!

That cat that supposedly gave birth to puppies? Yeah, not so much. She's just a kind-hearted feline nursing some presumably-orphaned pups. Very kind of her.

(Via Defamer)

It's The Pelennor Fields All Over Again!

Peter Jackson and MGM are duking it out over Lord of the Rings profits and a Hobbit movie. The Hobbit without Jackson? Oh Eru, I can see that turning out so crappy. I mean, it could very well turn out fine, but knowing Hollywood, they'll get Brett Ratner or some other hack to do it and it'll be ruined. Bilbo deserves better.

(Via Defamer)

Reading The Bible

I bought a King James Bible a few months ago intending to read it, not as a religious text, but as a literary work of great power which has influenced English literature for centuries. I started Genesis and just couldn't get into it. It just didn't speak to me in any way; it felt like a chore, not a pleasure, and there's really no point in reading something in that case. And, of course, I just have such a violent antipathy to the theology.

But Daniel Plotz, "a proud... but never a terribly observant Jew," has decided to read the Bible and blog about the experience. His manifesto: "My goal is pretty simple. I want to find out what happens when an ignorant person actually reads the book on which his religion is based. I think I'm in the same position as many other lazy but faithful people (Christians, Jews, Moslems, Hindus). I love Judaism; I love (most of) the lessons it has taught me about how to live in the world; and yet I realized I am fundamentally ignorant about its foundation, its essential document. So, what will happen if I approach my Bible empty, unmediated by teachers or rabbis or parents? What will delight and horrify me? How will the Bible relate to the religion I practice, and the lessons I thought I learned in synagogue and Hebrew School?" What results is an ongoing and fascinating journal. Highly recommended!

(Via Bread and Circuses)

It's A Font!

Welcome Times Modern to the world! FYI: The graphic showing the evolution of the masthead is particularly fascinating.

(Via Philobiblon)

Picture Time

Often, The Pretty Boys post one or two pictures that I find particularly hot and I stea... I mean, repost them. Today, however, there all hot, so I'll just link to the post itself.

Christmas Gifts

I have hardly any money. We're talking pauper-level, here. It's going to be tough getting Christmas presents for my family, let alone friends. My mother tells me not to get anything because I don't have anything, but I can't just not get anyone anything! That'd just be wrong. The truth is, though, that I may have no choice. So what should I tell my friends? "Hey, you're not getting anything this year! You can still get me something, though!"? That just sounds tacky.

Vindication

I said at the start that Daniel Craig was scorchingly hot. Now the new James Bond is getting rave reviews and I'm far more pleased with myself than I have any right or reason to be. Take that, haters! Told youse so!

Blog Depression

I feel like such a slacker as a blogger. Everyone else seems to be able to come up with thoughtful, relevant, and entertaining original content about life, politics, movies, etc., while I bang out sentence-long link posts accompanied by "witty" remarks. *sigh* I feel such a failure at the moment; I'm sorry to be such a bad blogger.

Why, Again, Do I Have No Abs?

I don't think my recent habit of eating Neapolitan ice cream (I love getting all three flavors all mixed up) is doing my waistline any favors. But it's just soooooooo good! Willpower? What's that?

Again, I Am Robbed!

Top Ten Nerds and Geeks? I don't know about that. Besides the lack of me on this list, what about Archimedes? The list is very techie-oriented, too; what about us humanities nerds?

(Via Rogueclassicism)

What's The Best Way To Save Money?

Buy factory direct!

The End Is Nigh!

Seriously, y'all, a cat giving birth to puppies actually is a sign of the Apocalypse, I think. I'm sure it's a hoax of some kind, but, still... freaky.

(Via Gawker)

Battlestar Hotmanica

Yeah, yeah, George is the Sexiest Man Alive again, but who cares, because Apollo was on the list, too! Disagree? Didn't think so. Really, though, Battlestar Galactica's got lots of nice manflesh on display; I'm partial to Chief, just because I like big tortured teddy bears.

By Jove!

A guide to ancient swearing.

(Via Rogueclassicism)

Always Be Nice To Auntie...

...'cause she just might leave you a lost masterpiece.

(Via PhDiva)

It Wasn't All Bread And Circuses, You Know

There were also ships full of garum. What's garum? A totally gross-sounding fermented fish paste. Those crazy Romans!

(Via Bread and Circuses)

Heartbreak

What would you sing?

Our Spiny Cousins

The sea urchin genome has been decoded. PZ expands on and critiques the media coverage.

If I Were Straight...

Indira Varma, one of the most beautiful women in the world, I think.

Boo Boo

Well, around noon yesterday, while helping my father bring a box containing the components to a new TV stand (we just got a new plasma), my father tripped come through the door and the box dropped onto the tip of my left big toe. I'll let you imagine how painful that was. Nothing seems to be broken, but it's awful sore, I'm hobbling around, and that toe is going to look disgusting in the morning. Coos of sympathy greatly appreciated.

The Eternal Question

How should one sort one's books? Unfortunately, the space available to me being what it is, my books aren't really sorted as I would wish. I have to take advantage of whatever space I can find, with no possibility of any sort of order to it all. Someday, however... Yes, someday...

(Via Languagehat)

Ah, Sweet Tan Lines... (NSFW)

(Via The Pretty Boys Club)

I'm A Genius, Apple's Not

It seems Apple finally noticed what I (and, yes, other people, too) said a while ago: those Mac vs. PC ads make you want to buy PCs, not Macs. Which, of course, is kinda self-defeating.

Anyway, I hope this doesn't mean John Hodgman will no longer grace us with his adorkable presence. He's just so cuddly, in a tweedy sort of way.

I'm Sure He'd Have Hated You, Too, Ms. Hughes

Writer/grumpypants Kathryn Hughes does not like "compulsive wits," such as Oscar Wilde. She bases this on a scribble in an autograph book that recently came on the market. When you reduce Wilde to a collection of disconnecting aphorisms and bon mots in Bartlett’s or whatever, I’m sure he IS rather tiring. I’m also sure that in real life he was somewhat more amusing. And a lot of the quotes you hear bandied about from him were from his writings, so of course he polished them up and "practised delivering them in the mirror before he went out"! It's called editing.

All in all, she seems to bear a grudge against one particular "wit" that's gotten on her bad side, not Oscar Wilde or anyone she mentions in the article. So remind me never to attend a party thrown by Ms. Hughes; it'd be dreadfully dull, by the sounds of it.

(Via Bookninja)

That's SIR Avery Keckilpenny To You!

Your Old Fashioned Name Is...

Avery Keckilpenny

What's Your Old Fashioned Name?

(Via Books, Inq.)

What It's All About

Intimacy. (Warning: link NSFW.) Nothing makes me sadder than the thought that there are people out there who don't have someone they love and who love them in return. I sometimes fear that's how I'll end up.

A Christmas Present For The Hobbit In Your Life

A bungalow once owned by J.R.R. Tolkien is up for sale with an asking price of over one million pounds. No word if it's built into the side of a hill, has round doors, or has pesky gold rings laying about.

(Via Bookninja)

Deepest, Darkest Peru

Paddington's home is at risk from mining.

What's Worse Than The Corruption And Incompetence Of Washington?

The feeble attempts at comedy of its "celebrities." Oy vey! I just watched some (I couldn't bear to watch the whole thing) of the Funniest Celebrity in Washington D.C. contest on C-SPAN. They say Washington can't laugh at itself; after watching that travesty, I'm inclined to think it's because no one there is funny. We're talking excruciatingly bad here, people! More bombs in that room than Iraq! *rim shot* Really, if you want laughs on C-SPAN, you'd have better luck watching House Transportation subcommittee hearings.

The More Things Change...

Are you as sick of the nasty political ads that seem to be on non-stop in the run-up to the election? You know, the ones that want you to think that whoever the opponent is eats children for breakfast while plotting with terrorists to blow up a candy factory full of bunnies and puppies? Depressingly, they're not really that new. At least the Romans could ignore the graffiti better than we can ignore ads. Lucky Romans.

Thin Celebrities And Hypocritical Republicans: A Theory

Dean Dad has a thought about why we as a nation are so fat and why those who go on and on about "values" so often seem to have anything but. Worth a look.

Warning: Grossness Ahead!

Does it make you a narcissist if you find your own body odor (particularly that of your fingers after scratching your crotch) sexy? I mean, I know there are lots of people who like the smell of other people, and I'm sure it has to do with pheremones and stuff, but it is kinda icky to turn yourself on that way. And it's not all the time, either. Sometimes my body odor just stinks. Sometimes, though, it's really hot.

Just throwing that out there. I know you were just dying to know! *LOL*

Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie!!! Oy, Oy, Oy!!!

Before I get to the reason for this post, I have to ask: why are Australians all nuts? I mean, I know guys like the Crocodile Hunter (RIP) are considered kinda odd even in their homeland, but Australians in general just seem to be a bit... off. They all seem to delight in running, jumping, climbing, diving, surfing, sky-diving, and any other crazy pastime, the more dangerous the better. I have a theory that it has to do with having such a small population on such a vast continent filled with some of the most venomous animals in the world. Something along the lines of, "Hey, let's get out there and jump off Ayers Rock with no parachute today, for tomorrow we may die from the bite of a ten centimeter snake with venom that boils away all your internal organs!"

Anyway, that opening tangent involving gross generalizations of a nation's people aside, I'll get to the "point": Not only has Australia given the world hot, rugged mens with a hot accent, they've now given us hot rugged mens with a hot accent and the perfect basket. Thanks, Australia!

Sylvia Plath

A previously unpublished poem by Sylvia Plath has been released. I know, isn't it "thrilling"?

Does it make me a terrible person/English major if I admit I never "got" the fuss about old Sylvie and really don't care about her crappy life? I mean, it's tragic when anyone feels so hopeless about life that they stick they're head in the oven, but does that automatically make one a literary genius? Perhaps I'm too hard on her, though. It's not her fault she was portrayed by Gwenyth Paltrow, my antipathy to which is big enough that I'd cheer if she stuck her head in an oven. Fake British cow...

ANYway, if you like Sylvia more than I do, go read "Ennui" (that's the poem).

(Via Books, Inq.)

He Just Wanted To Make Friends!

And then eat the wildlife photographers! Doesn't everyone know that polar bears are unfailingly polite? They never maul to death and then feast on the flesh of someone without a proper introduction!

(Via PhDiva)

WTF?

W. T. F.?!?!?

Happy Halloween!

If You Were A Modern Chinese Man, How Would You Look For A Wife?

Would you, perhaps, post near-naked pictures of yourself and your fabulous body on your blog? If I had his body, I'd certainly consider it! Yum!

Of course, the gays are all over him, trying to "hire" him for the night. *hehehe* We're such a predictable lot, aren't we? Though, to be fair, that picture does look like many of the Manhunt pics I've seen. And as everyone knows, rentboys just have to be "straight"! Jacks they're asking price up. Because what gay man would want to have sex with another gay man? That's just... faggy.

(Via Gawker)

Wuh?

"Yes, Dieter, I shall stand in front of this window in nothing but a white bikini and a Native American feather headdress if I wish to! It shows off my abs perfectly!"

(Via The Pretty Boys Club)

As You May Have Noticed...

I've spruced up the links on the sidebar. A little shuffling, a little adding and deleting, that sort of thing. Please, if you have a blog and, due to my sheer fabulousness, have decided to add me to your link list, just let me know and I'll link back. I'm all about the reciprocity.

Hundred Year Old Pus...

...Oh, I just can't do it. It's too easy. Kitty got a letter from the queen.

(Via PhDiva)

Bird-On-Bird Crime

Pelicans are eating pigeons! There's even video!

(Via Gridskipper via Gawker)

Well, I DON'T Come Cheap, But I'd Like To Think That SOMEONE Likes Me!

You scored as A college textbook. You're an authority on something, you just know it. Everyone else does, too, but that doesn't mean they like you. Since you think very highly of everything you say, you charge a pretty penny to entertain your listeners. Those forced to pay do so grudgingly and try to defray the costs of learning from you by selling portions of their access to your charms to others. As a result of this speedy dissemination of your knowledge, you constantly add to your repertoire--and then hike your price. Despite your usefullness, which is rarely in doubt, nobody likes you. They find you didactic, boring and irrelevant--but still necessary. A college textbook 71% A classic novel 50% Poetry 39% A coloring book 32% An electronics user's manual 25% The back of a froot loops box 25% A paperback romance novel 14% Your Literary Personality created with QuizFarm.com

(Via Books, Inq.)

Let's Hear It For The Boys Overseas!

(Via The Pretty Boys Club)

Misquotes

No one ever said "Let them eat cake!" or "Beam me up, Scotty!" How disappointing.

(Via Bookninja)

Indiana Jones IV

They've talked about it for years with no real movement, but the fourth Indiana Jones apparently will happen. Details are sketchy, but, owing to Harrison Ford's advancing age and apparent plunge into alcoholism and anorexic-former-TV-star shtupping, it's likely that the fourth movie will be something a bit more sedate, like Indiana Jones and the Denial of Tenure. It's no Ark of the Covenant or Temple of Doom, but I'd probably still go see it. The hypothetical scene where he bullwhips the dean will be worth the price of admission alone!

(Via Defamer; Bread and Circuses)

Well, I'd Probably Get A Little Tired Of Red Sand All Day, Too

The Mars Rover seems to be getting a little bored of Mars.

(Via Bad Astronomy)

Is It Just Me?

Is Borat really all that funny? Funny enough to warrant a movie? Because I've always thought the character terribly annoying and the movie looks, to me, dull and un-funny. So it'll probably be a huge hit. *sigh* But, anyway, am I alone in my opinion?

I Got Nothin', People

The Blogging Muse seems to have deserted me for the past couple of days, so I'll just link to three pug pictures and call it a night. Ciao!

We're Going To Need Trojan Magnum X^100s!

Galaxies are having unprotected sex. So sad. You'd think that after all these billions of years, they'd be aware of and guard against gravitationally transmitted diseases.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Angry Black Bitch doesn't want you to tolerate her, but to respect her. I've read/heard these kinds of arguments before and they make me terribly conflicted. (Me? The Ultimate Libra who sees at least ten sides to every argument, so much so that I can hardly choose a position? Well, I never!)

On the one hand, what ABB says is absolutely correct: to indulge in hyperbole, tolerance is really, "Well, we don't like you at all, but we'll refrain from beating you with a bat. Cheers!" No one wants to be reviled, even if allowed to go about life not (generally) being beaten with sticks. It's just not quite enough. And why settle for tolerance when respect is your natural right?

On the other hand, I sometimes want to say to, for instance, gay rights activists (though it applies to most other activists, too), "Yo, my LGBTIQ brethren/sistren/non-genderedren/multi-genderedren, it doesn't happen overnight! Respect and acceptance take time and are hard to get! We're going against thousands of years of history and socialization." Sometimes, then, tolerance is the best you can hope for. But then that just sounds like, "Oh, thank you, society, for giving us a few crumbs and not the full meal that is my right! You're so kind! We'll know our place from now on."

So, like a lot of things in life, I'm of two minds. *sigh* Any thoughts?

Beware The Walrus! (BTW, Does Anyone Else Remember "Adventures in Wonderland" And Get That Reference?)

The year's best wildlife photography has been chosen.

The walrus' eyes are what make the winning picture, I think; they're really freaky in a totally fascinating way.