Sunday, August 31, 2008
Anyway, though I have a half-formed idea in my head to revisit some of the older Cartoon Nostalgia posts to expand upon my thoughts (I have surprisingly little to say in some of the early ones, which of course MUST be rectified, because I am nothing if not verbose; I have a reputation to uphold), this is most likely the last totally original one. Enjoy.
"Du du du du du, Inspector Gadget! Du du du du du, oooo-hooo!" Another show with a catchy theme song and a villain I liked way more than the hero (who can't love a supervillain with a claw-hand and a fuzzy white cat?). Also, for some reason, one of those educational PSAs they always seemed to tack onto the end of cartoons in thos days, this particular one about what to do if you get something in your eye (basically, keep your eye closed and let your natural tears flush it out) still sticks with me. Every time something sticks in my eye, I think of it.
This is also another show whose memory was tragically molested with a horrible live-action movie a few years ago. And, no, I've never seen the movie and never will, but I still know it's awful. Matthew Broderick as Inspector Gadget? Please. What happened to that dude, anyway? From Ferris Freakin' Bueller to bearding with Sarah Jessica Parker; quite a come-down. He should have just run off with Nathan Lane when he had the chance.
The Mysterious Cities Of Gold
Unbeknownst to me, this was actually some sort of cult-classic French import. A riff on the legend of El Dorado, the premise was a kid and a bunch of other people looking for the Seven Cities of Gold. What sticks most in my head, though, is the title song: "The cities of goooooooooold! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ahhhhhh, ahhhhhh, ahhhhhh... the ci-ti-es of gold!"
My Little Pony Tales
God, how did I not realize I was gay sooner? I was watching My Fucking Little Pony Tales! As with the Care Bears, I just wanted a horn with some cool power.
And that's it, folks. I hope you've enjoyed reminiscing with me over the past few years. I've enjoyed it. It's not the end of my nostalgia, though. Talking about Ferris Bueller above gave me an idea to do a little riffing on movies of my childhood. So look for that in the nearish-future!
Friday, August 29, 2008
There were four country churches in a small Texas town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and the Catholic Church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.
One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.
The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
But -- The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
(Via Comedy Central Jokes)
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
On the seventh day, God said, "Let there be football."
And it was good.
Later that day, God said, "Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence."
With that, he plucked a star from the heavens and placed it on the helmet of silver and blue.
God said, "Let it be called, ''The Dallas Cowboys'' - America''s team."
Later that day, God said, "Even Cowboys need a**holes."
So he made their fans.
(Via Comedy Central Jokes)