Sunday, April 30, 2006

Utterly Random Observation

Lithuanian surnames look and sound very Latin. Lithuanians I know have names like Sudeikis (okay, it's the guy on SNL, and I don't actually know him), Brolis, and Celius. Add a "Maximus" to any one of them and you're back at the Colosseum watching gladiators fight lions!

Even More Cartoon Nostalgia

Scooby-Doo. The good ones, though, not the later crap with Scrappy Doo or anything. Who couldn't love Shaggy and Scooby and Velma? I liked Velma in particular because she was smart and, I know now, most likely a fellow homosexual. Plus, who else could rock an orange turtleneck, knee-socks, and glasses quite like her? Daphne and Fred I could have cared less about; they were always off banging each other, anyway.

Space Ghost. I love Space Ghost Coast to Coast, too, but that's a whole different kettle of fish. I loved the bad physics (flying and breathing in space!) and the villains (Black Widow! Metallus!) and Space Ghost's bracers (again with the cartoon jewelry lust!) and the monkey Flip who, as far as I'm concerned, was the real hero of the show because he was always pulling Space Ghost and those bumbling twins' asses out of the fire.

Captain Planet. "He's our hero! Gonna take pollution down to zero!" Early 90s environmental propaganda. I had a crush on the guy who had the fire ring. Always laughed at the kid who had the "heart" ring. What a crappy power (and a haircut to match). Speaking of haircuts, Captain Planet had a mullet. Nothing says "environmental hero" like a mullet.

Saturday, April 29, 2006


Ran across this list of Portland's "sexiest staffs." Not to be superficial (who, me?), but, while most of the women are, indeed, hot, or at least cute, the guys are almost all... well, not. As I have friends who plan on moving to Portland next year and I hope to visit them at some point afterwards, this is very worrying. Vince, please tell me all Portland guys aren't that grody!

(Via Bookslut)

Friday, April 28, 2006

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Darn! I Was Sure I Was The Golgi Body...

The ER
You're the Endoplasmic reticulum! The ER modifies proteins, makes macromolecules, and transfers substances throughout the cell. It has its own membrane, and translation of mRNA happens within it.

You tend to have two sides to you - sort of a jekyll and Hyde kind of story. One side of you tends to be rough and tumble, but also very useful. Your other side is less well-defined and slightly more mysterious.

My test tracked 3 variables. How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 32% on Industriousness
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 70% on Centrality
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 5% on Causticity
Which Cell Organelle are you?
(Via Adventures in Ethics and Science, via Petrona, via Books, Inq.)

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Room For Improvement

Ways to improve your blog. I, of course, don't need such advice, but some of you other, less absoutely fan-friggin'-tastic bloggers may.

(Via Books, Inq.)

Homosexual, Homosexual, Homosexual!

Now, as a logophile/word nerd of the highest order, I don't like to see any word, even offensive or derogatory ones, banned. (I wouldn't mind if they were used, but I want that to come out of people's awareness and tolerance, not a decree from on high.)

But if you're going to ban a word, why in Heaven's name would you start with homosexual? And just who the hell are
these "many gays and lesbians today" who think "the term homosexuality is considered inappropriate by many gays and lesbians today"?!?!? I can kinda see the point that it's a clinical name from a time when same-sex attraction was considered a mental illness and that it, but, come on!

(Via Proceed At Your Own Risk)

Tuesday, April 25, 2006


So it turns out the posts that get the most commenting attention are the ones about old cartoons and Star Trek. As Mr. Spock would say, "Fascinating!" And, really, not terribly surprising. The name of the blog is Bourgeois NERD after all; it stands to reason that my brethren and sistren in nerdhood/geekdom would be attracted, especially to stuff about cartoons and sci-fi. Nevertheless, I have to say that I love you guys!

The Future!

Electronic paper. Though I love books as they are, once e-paper gets cheap enough and thin enough to make a good paperback-sized folio, I'll go with it. If they can get something approximating the tactile feel of paper, I'll have died and gone to heaven.

(Via Maud Newton)

Monday, April 24, 2006

About As Welcome As A Tribble At A Klingon Wedding

They're thinking of doing another Trek movie. I'd be happy, except for the reported storyline. *ugh* I’m sorry, but I have no interest in seeing the “early days” of Kirk and Spock. And at the Academy, no less!

I know it’s anathema to some, but I’d really rather go back to the “present” of the Trek universe (2380s) than keep going back into the past. Enterprise didn't work partly because of this and I don't think a new movie would, either. Plus, you'd have to get young guys to play iconic characters and that just doesn't work. And I really don't think it would bring in any new or casual fans and would probably piss off a large portion of the established/hardcore ones. I mean, yeah, you're always going to piss off some of the crazy fanboys. (And fangirls! Yes, Virginia, there are many, many, many female Trekkers.) This sort of thing, though, has the potential to alienate more than just a few crazies and grumps.

And, to top it all off, they've given the project to a director of... less than stellar credentials. For once, I'm rooting for the Hollywood machine to chew a project up and spit it out.

Sunday, April 23, 2006


They trashed all the books! That's just wrong, folks.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

I Should Be... New York. Or Portland. *sigh* Someday...

(First link via Bookninja)

More Cartoon Nostalgia

Due to the raging success of my last walk down the Cartoonville stretch of Memory Lane (and, yes, two commenters other than myself is a raging success for me), I realized that I actually have a lot more cartoon memories to share. This post, and two more forthcoming, are the result.

Shazzan. Yet again, I didn't really like the protagionists of the cartoon (which seems to be something of a pattern with me), the two whitebread teens. Those two were beyond useless: always getting into trouble and then running to Shazzan to save their pasty asses. Really, without Kablooie and Shazzan, that pair would have been dead a thousand times over. But Shazzan himself was just one cool cat. Always defeated the villain with a smile on his face and a booming laugh. And he was creative, too. Rather kinky, actually.

Josie & The Pussycats in Outer Space. I didn't like the regular show, but the space show was cool. Looking back, the spaceship was pretty much shaped like a sex toy and even at the age I was watching it I knew enough about astronomy and physics to know that their constant running into inhabited "planetoids" (they were always "planetoids" for some reason, not moons or planets) and mysterious lack of free-fall was silly, but I just loved their "running" effects and it made me giggle. What more can you ask of a cartoon?

Sailor Moon. Just the first season of the dubbed version, anyway. For a silly, sometimes incoherent (due to the dubbing and Americanization) cartoon, it really could pull at your heartstrings. Plus, the villains had names like "Queen Beryl" and "Malachite" and "Zoisite" and, like, how cool is that?

More to come...

Friday, April 21, 2006

If It Reclines, Too, Then I'm Definitely In Love

Give me that chair! Now!

(Via Bookninja)

My Dearest Clementine...

What's with our obsession with the Civil War? Sure, this is an Australian who doesn't really "get" it, but he makes some good points. How could the North have won the war, but the South end up with all the pride and "glory"? Why do we romanticize it so? Why do so many people have such an utter obsession with it? I don't really know. I mean, it's undoubtedly a big part of American history, but what is it so particularly lodged in our collective imaginations? Can it really be simple nationalism (i.e. that both sides were American, so there are no "durn ferners" in the story)?

(Via Bookslut)

Thursday, April 20, 2006

I AM Twelve Years Old

I don't know whether it is awesome or tragic that this man's name is Jonathan Mandick. All I know is I really want to meet him!

Maps With Pretty Colors!

American religion and language laid out in easily digested graphics.

(Via Laputan Logic; Languagehat)

I'm Going Guido

When I go a while without a haircut, my hair gets all poofy and this point comes out at the top of my head. Well, my barber's on vacation, so my haircut is even more overdue than usual. And I realized that I'm starting to look like those Gotti guys. Yuck! I mean, I looooves me some Italian gumbas, but those three are just straight-up nasty! Not who you want to look like. (BTW, I've heard that there's actually a fourth brother who doesn't appear on the show. I don't know if he's just too young and it was decided it wasn't appropriate or older and out on his own, but I hope he got some hotness genes, 'cause his brothers sure didn't.) Luckily, my vampiric pallor and unplucked eyebrows should keep me from being featured by Richard or the wrath of Toby's self-Jersey-boy-hatred.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

The Secret Of Male Fertility: Other Men!

Geez, even straight sperm feel threatened by more than one guy in a porn! It's like, "Man, I'm totally straight! The two guys on one girl thing doesn't threaten me at all! I'll prove it by swimming even faster and totally headbutting into that ovum up there!" Methinks the gamete doth protest too much!

Now, Tom, Will You Please SHUT UP?!?!?

After being maybe-pretend pregnant for about fifty million years, Katie has given birth (or "birth"). In a twist of irony worthy of O. Henry, Brooke Shields just gave birth, as well. The Cruise spawn is "Suri." *sigh* Makes Moses sound almost normal... Of course, Brooke saddled her kid with "Grier," but at least it has some antecedents (Greer Garson, Pam Grier). But if this "Suri" really is the Anti-Christ some think and Grier is our only hope of salvation, I'm willing to forgive the weirdo name. Help us, Grier Hammond! You're our only hope!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Cartoon Nostalgia

Back when Saturday morning cartoons were good and before Cartoon Network became Anime Central, I was totally into cartoons. Some of my favorites included:

Pirates of Dark Water. I wanted to be an ecomancer like Tula sooooo bad. And don't even get me started on how much I wanted that pink outfit of hers! Ioz and Ran were also very hot and often shirtless. Looking back, though, the racial politics of the cartoon were a bit suspect. I mean, the hero (Ran) had blond hair and blue eyes, while everyone else was swarthy. Kinda makes you go, "Hmmmmmmmmmmm." Funny aside: to this day, I still occasionally exclaim "Noy jatot!" and "Noy jatotta!" the "curse words" of the show.

Thundarr the Barbarian. Thundarr kinda sucked and was boring, but Ariel kicked ass! And Oogla the Mok was so cute! I was always pretending I was one of the wizards (though a good one, not an evil one).

This one whose name I can't remember. It was about this (again, blond-haired, blue-eyed) guy with this lance kind of thing that was split into two parts and only became kick-ass when he put the two pieces together. His one sidekick was this princess looking to get back this magic shield from the villain, who had conquered her homeland. She had this really cool magical bracer with a red stone that shot fire, a white stone that shot ice, and a black stone that did something I don't remember. I soooooo wanted that bracer! And then there was her kid brother who was really annoying, but he had a cool boomerang thing that split up into three pieces. Anyone know what the hell I'm talking about?

And, then, of course, there's Thundercats. Hooooooooooooooooo! My favorite on that was Panthero, the mechanic/engineer. Even then I had a thing for nerdy muscle daddies in wrestling singlets! *hehehehe* I also liked Mum-Ra. The Thundercats were kinda boring, really; Mum-Ra was cool.

Update: Thanks to the wonders of the Internet, I found the cartoon I couldn't remember the name of. It was called Galtar and the Golden Lance and apparently it only ran for a season in 1985. That would have made me about three years old watching it. I didn't think I was that young. Huh. Anyway, I'm just glad I figured it out. It was driving me crazy!


If you've got a surname from the British Isles, check out this Surname Profiler. It'll give you maps of the distribution of your name in Great Britain in 1881 and/or 1998. It's really cool.

(Via Laputan Logic)

Monday, April 17, 2006


As you all know, this isn't a particularly political blog. There are plenty of other, better, smarter blogs for that elsewhere. And, while I'm certainly not apolitical, I'm not a political junkie type, either. I have my opinions, I vote, I should probably do more, but the politics of today just... dishearten me. Everything is so complex, so complicated, so rhetorically toxic, and everyone shouts at each other, and blah. I'm a dyed-in-the-wool Libra: I'm the definition of "fair and balanced." I (try to) see all sides of an argument; I like moderation, shades of gray, and compromise. This leaves me open to equivocation and "flip-flopping." I'm just to damn diplomatic and evenhanded, leaving me feeling unsure of myself on many issues. Nevertheless, I'm going to comment on the immigration issue.

On the one hand, the U.S. has the right to control its borders. Immigration in this country needs reform. On the other hand, the rhetoric surrounding it, the "Oh my God, the Mexicans are going to overwhelm us!" mentality is just sickening. It's not even new, either. We've been going through similar bouts of immigration hysteria since the Pilgrims. ("Ye confounded Quakers! Thou art taking away our jobs!") My own Irish ancestors had to go through some truly vile anti-Irish sentiment before everyone got on the St. Paddy's Day bandwagon. You even heard the same sort of hysteria about "They aren't assimilating! They can't speak the language!" You try coming to another country in your late teens or twenties or later and becoming fluent in a new language! It's hard. The fact is that the children and the grandchildren of immigrants turn out just as American as everyone else, whether they be those of the Irish or Italian immigrants of the 19th century or the Latino immigrants (legal and otherwise) of today.

Anti-immigrationists do bring up some fair questions regarding the economics of illegal immigration: Do illegals depress overall wages? If the immigrants were here and landscapers and construction companies had to find labor, would wages go up enough to attract native-born Americans back to such low-level jobs? Does the overall economic impact of illegal immigrants overcome any downward pressure they may exert on wages, perhaps by keeping prices on certain goods (produce, for instance) down? I honestly have no idea of the answers to any of these questions. You see arguments both ways.

But, as much of a capitalist pig as I am, I don't think we should reduce the argument to pure economics. At heart, I'm really an idealistic sap. The truth is we should let them enter the country regardless simply because we're America! The Statue of Liberty says:
"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me....!"
Not, "I only want you to come here if you can benefit me! Oh, and be white, too." It was shameful when we as a nation took just that sort of sickening attitude and made it law through such measures as the Chinese Exclusion Act and the Immigration Act of 1924; it would be even more shameful if we gave in to such thinking now in this "more enlightened," more global age.

"Illegal aliens" are just that: illegal. They didn't go through the legal immigration process. But they're human beings who should be treated as such. Felonizing them doesn't, in my opinion, help anything. They'll just go deeper underground and be open to greater exploitation. Plus, there are eleven to twelve million in the country! How, exactly, do we imprison and/or deport that many people? Even if we brought the military back from Iraq (which we should do anyway), I don't think we could do it. Plus, I don't think a civil war is really the direction we want to go in. So we might as well regularize the position of the illegal aliens and get some benefit, for both parties, out of it. That's my two cents, anyway.


Who ever could have snapped up Madonna tickets so quickly? I'm utterly baffled.

(Via Gawker)

Welcome To The Family!

It's always nice to see a new face at the family reunion.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Happy Easter/Passover/Pasach!

Hail Eostre!

Next year, in Jerusalem!

Blog Update

Two more additions to the sidebar:

1) So I Like Superman. Great blog from a great (and hilarious) writer. He really likes Superman, too.

2) Gayer Mechanic Wales. Another great blog from a gay teen in high school (I hope I don't get arrested for statutory linking!) who also happens to be a fan of this here blog. He obviously has great taste.

Check 'em out!

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Oh, Dave!

Like just about everyone else in the world under 35, I loved The Chappelle Show and was quite upset when Dave Chappelle disappeared and supposedly went crazy. I've always liked Dave and hoped that the issues that led to the self-cancelling of his show would work out. But, really, is blaming whitey the best you could come up with, Dave? I expected better from you.

I mean, yeah, whitey does still own most things, but I fail to see how that has anything at all to do with anything in your case. You had Comedy Central over a barrel! You could do whatever you wanted! You could stick it to The [White] Man all you wanted and He'd just shovel money at you! I'm very disappointed in that sort of reaction from someone I always thought had a more nuanced and intelligent view of race relations in America than "Whitey bad."

(Via Gawker)

To Arms!

Defend Science!

(Via Bad Astronomy Blog)

Friday, April 14, 2006

And I Ain't Got One Of Them

The Top 50 Jobs in America. College professor is at #2, I see. What are you and your kindred always bellyaching for, then, gayprof! You're rolling in dough! Quit yer whining!

(Via Gawker)

Environmentally-Friendly Titles

Publishing is at the vanguard of environmental policy. I mean, they're recycling titles and everything! (BTW, I never knew that titles can't be copyrighted. Learn something new every day!)

(Via Bookslut)

Tricorders, Dilithium, and Holodecks, Here We Come!

We've got tractor beams, people! Now all we need are constantly-malfunctioning transporters and we're living in the Federation!

(Via Bookninja)

Thursday, April 13, 2006

I Say, Old Chap, Good Show!

The Royal Society comes out swinging. Bravo! Knock those anti-science cretins the fuck out!

BTW, what is it about the British and kick-ass prose? That press release/statement is so clear, almost poetic. And I can just hear a posh British accent reading it, too. Dreamy.

But Will I Use My Powers For Good?

This Saturday, I got up in the late afternoon, headed to the bookstore, and bought two books. In the space of about seven hours, I finished both. I'm a fast reader, but I think that's a record even for me. I think I was bitten by a radioactive bookworm or something.

Watch out for me in a bookstore near you reading all the books at an astounding, superhuman rate (in form-fitting spandex and a mask, of course)! Now all I need is a superhero name...

Channelling The Divinyls For A Moment...

I touch myself. (Not really, of course; I'm not that much of a nerd that I masturbate to obscure word trivia. It was just too good a hook to pass up.)

(Via Philobiblon)

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Someone Got A Little Carried Away With The Easter/Passover Season

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have welcomed a new baby boy into the world: Moses Martin. Moses. Martin. Moses, people! I've always hated that stuck-up WASP bitch, but she is now officially a child abuser!

Top Twenty Countdown...

of Rate My Professors lines!

(Via Inside Higher Ed)

Well, At Least SOMEONE Respects English Majors!

Thanks, Frank!

Monday, April 10, 2006

Well, Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!

You Should Be a Science Fiction Writer

Your ideas are very strange, and people often wonder what planet you're from. And while you may have some problems being "normal," you'll have no problems writing sci-fi. Whether it's epic films, important novels, or vivid comics, your own little universe could leave an important mark on the world!

(Via Books, Inq.)


Don't do meth, kids! It'll fuck you UP!

(Via Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Novels)

Smart Bitches Who Love Trashy Novels

These gals are my kind of bitches! Seriously, I teared up they made me laugh so hard. Those covers are heinous, y'all!

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Take THAT, Dante!

Judas wasn't such a bad guy after all.

(Via Bookninja)

AGAIN With The Gay Fowl!

Penguins, swans, flamingos, and now ducks! The gayness of the avian community is staggering. This pair of shelducks have been together for at least three years now and, since shelducks mate for life, will probably be together forever. Awwwww! And there's even a top and a bottom! You go, boys!

(Via Towleroad)

It Depends On What The Definition of "Quit" Is

Tracing the development of "Brokeback" as a word.

Meanwhile, lots of city queens suddenly want to know more about cowboys and farmers. Only the hot ones, though, of course.

(Via Bookninja)

Friday, April 07, 2006

Oooooh, James!

"Bond Goldfingers His Thunderballs"

God, Daniel Craig is
pure sex (NSFW)! I think he'll make a great James Bond. I really don't understand why some are so against him.

Blogging Updates

A few months ago, one of my favorite bloggers, Scott from Bill in Exile (who I've had the privilege of getting to know over email) called it quits. He's in the middle of a novel and just didn't have the time for blogging. Well, thankfully, the siren's call of blogging has tempted him back, because he's now co-blogging at Boozhy! Welcome back, Scott!

In addition to Boozhy, several new blogs have been added to the sidebar recently, including My Amusement Park, My Confessions, and Queer Beacon. All of these blogs were kind of enough to link this humble little corner of the blogosphere, so it was incumbent upon me to return the favor. Remember, if you link here, just let me know and I'll link to you in return.

Sadly, however, one blog has been deleted from the sidebar. My main bitch, Cindy (aka The Notorious C.A.B., aka The Unsinkable Cindy Best) has closed her blog (The Asexual Agenda) down for good. Her sister found it and started reading and it weirded her out, so she stopped and took it down. We'll miss you, Cindy!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Sometimes, I'm Ashamed To Be A Young Gay Man

When I have these two fuckers for peers. The first guy is just incredibly naive and annoyingly "college intellectual" (if you know what I mean). As for the second guy, I hope a bunch of drag queens gangbang him on an Ivy League campus in front of his boyfriend. What a fuckwit.

(Via Homer's World)


The sacrilege is worse and more widespread than I thought! The Pope must declare a crusade against these foul, thieving biblioheretics!

(Via Bookninja)

You Don't Say

Who knew taking 40,000 hits of ecstasy could be bad for you? Mind-boggling.

(Via Towleroad)

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Dan Brown Has A Lot To Answer For

The Onion gives us a handy graphic of Da Vinci Code coattail-riders.

(Via Bookninja)

Brother, Can You Spare A [Fifty Pence Piece]?

Money and etymology! Two of my favorite things together at last.

Nerd Fight!

Amateur and professional language scholars throw down. Watch out, y'all! Word nerd rumbles ain't pretty. We don't care who we take out!

(Via Bookninja)

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Why, Again, Can't I Get A Job As A Proofreader?

Really, why? Though, to be charitable, perhaps the New York Press wasn't talking about "super villains," but actual "villians" (i.e. "those who live in a villa"). The language has been in desperate need of such a descriptor for some time, you know.

(Via Gawker)

A Moment of Zen

Monday, April 03, 2006

The End Is Nigh!

Mr. Hat, linguistic blogging genius that he is, has calculated the exact date that the English language will implode under the weight of hand-wringing grammaticasters and hellfire-and-brimstone prescriptivists clucking over the "decline" and "corruption" of Shakespeare's native tongue. Mark your calendars and start learning Chinese!

Can You Spot The Irony?

Behold: the college from hell.