Saturday, March 31, 2007
Friday, March 30, 2007
"I'll Show That Little White Furball Who The Star Is Around Here!"
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Many Happy Returns!
When You Think About It, It's A Wonder This Wasn't Made Ages Ago!
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Stupidest. Title. Ever.
I'm A Laaaaaaaaaady...
|You Are 40% Lady|
You tend to make up your rules of etiquette, throwing all conventions aside. And while you try to be a lady (sometimes), your behavior is often quite shocking.
(Via Manhattan Offender)
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
"Oh, Baby, Conjugate My Genitive!"
Monday, March 26, 2007
Ah, The Dulcet Sounds...
(Via Cute Overload!)
And The Winner Is...
(Via Maud Newton)
Sunday, March 25, 2007
More Answers To Your Burning Questions
What was your major, Mr. Nerd?
English, baby! The liberal arts major only slightly more useful in the job market than History! Wooooo! (No offense to my History major brethren and sistren; I love you! And you're probably more successful than I am, so don't pay me any mind.)
How long will it take you to give up on the real world and return to academia, where you can persue theory in peace?
As I've discussed before, towards the end of my college tenure I was quite certain I was going to become an academic. Once I got out, however, and started researching the academic world, I decided it totally wasn't for me. The whole "Life of the Mind" is a great dream, but the reality has so much other bullshit that I just couldn't deal with.
If you're not having sex on a regular basis, are you at least getting drunk? If so, with whom?
I don't drink. I've never been drunk in my life. I just don't "get" alcohol; I think it tastes foul. I think my mother, who also doesn't like alcohol, gave some sort of taste bud receptor mutation to my sister and I that makes alcohol just totally unappealing.
I often wonder, though, what kind of drunk I'd make. Would I turn angry? Start weeping? Get really, really lovey? Hopefully, I'll find out someday.
Even though you have a bad track record with the sex (thus far), what kind of fantasy kiss makes your knees melt?
I'm actually going to save this question and make a post out of it (coming from a slightly different track). Stay tuned!
and (for bonus points)
If boring is a trait exhibited by someone who actively seeks out new information on a regular basis, reads frequently and critically, all-the-while piecing together lots of grammatically correct prose, what the hell does an interesting person do?
Well, goes out and interacts with people occasionally.
You mention you want to get laid in the next year. Give us some details. What is your perfect date? And how does it go from a date to a full on sexcapade?
I've given this a lot of thought and I really can't say I have a good answer. Dates are just... not my thing. Not that I've been on a lot of them or anything, but when I think "date," I think very pedestrianly: dinner, movie, heavy petting, etc. Actually, a nice night in front of a TV MST3King the heck out of it sounds divine, but that's more of a third or more date kind of thing. Bookstores are always cool.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Yet Another Argument For Gun Control
Finally, A Place To Research My Dissertation Comparing Tobacco Use In Shelley And Voltaire!
(Via Maud Newton)
Friday, March 23, 2007
(Via Books, Inq.)
Canines In Danger!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Tests, Tests, Tests!
|Your Leprechaun Name Is:|
|Your Scandinavian Name is:|
|You Are 2: The Helper|
You always put on a happy face and try to help those around you.
You're incredibly empathetic and care about everyone you know.
Able to see the good in others, you're thoughtful, warm, and sincere.
You connect with people who are charming and charismatic.
|You Are a Chocolate Bunny|
A traditionalist, you secretly want to dress up like a bunny. And not just on Easter.
|Star Wars Horoscope for Libra|
You are on a lifelong pursuit of justice and determined to succeed. You convey the art of persuasion through force. You always display your supreme intelligence. You have a great talent in obtaining balance between yourself and your surroundings.
Star Wars character you are most like:
Obi Wan Kenobi
The Words! The Words... They Buuuuurn!
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Something For The Fellows
Answers To Your Burning Questions
ANYway, thanks to Bigg and Gayprof for being curious, and here are your answers!
What do you do for a living?
Well, I've kinda gone into this recently, so you know all about it, but, in a word: nothing.
What do you look for in a guy?
Humor. Intelligence. Wit. A big cock.
What do you do for fun?
I'm boooooooooooring as hell. My idea of fun is reading, watching TV, and surfing the Internet. No wonder I'm out of shape and celibate, huh?
Tell us what your plans are for the next year.
Nothing dramatic, just get a job, get laid, discover the cure for cancer. You know, no biggies.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Out And Proud
On a slight tangent inspired by his post, though, I want to say that I truck not with (the very, very small group of) heterophobes and queer separationists/supremacists. But, though I can understand the impulse to want to "fit in," I really don't understand assimiliationists. One would think, looking at me -- white, solidly bourgeois, suburban, straight-acting (well, I look that way to people who don't know me very well, though, apparently) -- that I'd be all for it, since it's hardly a jump. But you forget one thing: I'm bloody boring as hell! I have nothing but respect for and not a little bit of envy towards, the drag queens and flamers, the porn stars and the leather pigs. Let us all be who we want to be and let our flame burn bright as we wish! Be boring or be brash; that's what individual freedom is for and we shouldn't try to squash that.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Welcome, Sport Fans
So, So True
In the human body, which organ is in charge?
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.
The brain said: "I should be in charge, because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the heart, "because I pump the blood and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic. Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.
The moral of the story?
You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge... just an *sshole.(Via Comedy Central Jokes)
Everything I Ever Needed To Know About Greek History...
(Via Bread and Circuses)
Sunday, March 18, 2007
On A Lazy Sunday...
(Via The Pretty Boys Club)
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Begosh And Begorrah! It's Saint Paddy's Day!
Friday, March 16, 2007
Better Living Through Movie Reviews
I Prefer To Be Called A "Garcon De Joie"*
Personally, I don't think sluttiness is a number or a frequency, but a state of mind. A true slut (as opposed to someone who is labeled that in jest by friends or by catty girls in high school in a volley of psychological warfare) is a slut not because they're sexually promiscuous, but because they're using sex for the wrong reasons: in a misguided effort to boost self-esteem, as a reaction to emotional trauma earlier in life, a manner of getting back at someone, a reaction to peer pressure, or some other maladaptive behavior. Enjoying sex and having multiple partners is not sluttiness; an unhealthy attitude towards sex that causes one to seek out sex for the wrong reasons is sluttiness.
But what do you guys think? Number, frequency, attitude? What makes a slut?
(* I have to thank Note for introducing me to that lovely synonym for "boy whore.")
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Painful Confessions; or, Marketers Are Evil
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Evening News Gone Wild!
Oh, and all you Oxygen-watchers out there, looky who the first model is! Yes, it's Romania's hottest, indecipherable crybaby, Sorin! Thankfully, they didn't have him speak. He's much prettier when he doesn't have to speak. *LOL*
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
As long-time readers may be aware, nearly two years after graduating, I'm still unemployed. If my parents weren't so insanely wonderful, I'd be really screwed. Month after month of no reply to applications, or interviews that lead nowhere, is discouraging to say the least. Frankly, I often feel like an abject failure. Explaining to people that I'm still looking for a job is humiliating. Every time someone asks, "What do you want to do?" I mentally cringe and sigh and want to scream, "I DON'T KNOW! I JUST DON'T FRICKIN' KNOW! I just don't want to be a loser!" Of course, I don't say those things. I just hem and haw about "proofreading" and "editing" and "temporary jobs" and stuff. But the shame is real.
Not to toot my own horn, but I'm a smart fellow and everyone expected me to do really well right away, so I feel like I've let everyone, including myself, down by not. The worst thing is the thought that maybe I never will, that I'm not good for anything and just a bum who will never make anything of himself, that I wasted my education and natural intelligence by being lazy and unemployable. I don't want to be a wasted life.
It all comes down to fear of failure, of being a failure, of disappointing my parents, who have worked so hard to give me all the opportunities and luxuries I've enjoyed that others, perhaps more qualified and more deserving, have never gotten, which also adds guilt to the mix. And I also fear disappointing myself. I always promised myself that I'd find something I loved and do well at it, that I wouldn't have to do what my parents and sister have done, settle in jobs they don't necessarily like just to pay the bills. It doesn't look like I'll get to keep that promise, between the fact that I don't know really what I want to do, the fact that I can't get a job anyway, and the fact that I'll probably end up in some dead-end job I loathe just to keep afloat. That future scares me, almost as much as the thought that I'll never get a job at all.
It's not that I haven't touched on these issues with friends and family, but I'm both embarrassed by my situation and feel like such a whiner by complaining, so I just don't feel comfortable being fully honest with my loved ones. Objectively, I have things great, and I realize that. It's kinda cool to just be able to do whatever and not have to worry about making a living. But I can't live like this forever; I don't want to live like this forever! I can't just magically will a job into existence, though; if no one wants me, I just have to keep slogging on. And people just don't realize how tough it can be out there. Everyone wants tons of experience in these narrow little fields, and I just don't have that. And menial jobs aren't interested either because they see my education and think I'm too good for them and will be unhappy and leave fairly quickly, and, yes, probably, but I NEED A FUCKING JOB SO JUST GIVE ME ONE AND PAY ME! *breath* So I'm confined to this strange limbo of being either underqualified or overqualified and no one wants to touch me. (Kinda like my sex life. But that's another whine for another time.)
I don't know how much sense this all makes, and I know this probably doesn't all hang together cohesively, and it probably comes out as just another whinge by an over privileged middle class brat, so I doubt this is my best post. I just needed to write it out for myself.
My People Are So Articulate
Monday, March 12, 2007
Words To Live By
This ornament is just a cheap bit of folderol!
mansuetude n the quality or state of being gentle: meekness, tameness
The mansuetude of this species of primate is due to its lack of natural predators.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Saturday, March 10, 2007
When Nerds Go Too Far
Listen up: Ninety-eight percent of nerds, geeks, dorks, gamers, Trekkers, "Jedi," comic book readers, anime fans, fanfic authors, convention-goers, and, yes, even furries, are sane, well-adjusted people with families and careers who are well aware of the line between reality and fantasy. We simply enjoy science-fiction or fantasy or one of their attendant activities as a hobby, and even those who are a little extreme in their devotion are mostly harmless, perfectly nice people, and still contributing members of society. We're not all losers who live in our parents' basement, never know the touch of a woman (because nerds are always straight in the popular imagination), and have absolutely no idea how to interact with/handle reality, thus retreating into perpetual adolescence and fantasy.
Because of the nature of the material and the openness of many science-fiction/fantasy media fandoms, we probably do have a high proportion of misfits, but misfit does not automatically equal crazy. Oh, we've got crazies, all right, but they'd be crazy regardless of their interests. And, frankly, there are crazy people everywhere, in any group you can think of. As with stupidity and the obnoxiousness, craziness is a trait well represented in every race, creed, color, class, profession, and pursuit; no one group has a lock on the maladjusted or the insane.
(Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to my garage and complete my life-sized Battlestar Galactica Viper. I must complete it before next week, when the Cylons will attack and I will have to take over as wingman for Apollo. *LOL*)
Friday, March 09, 2007
This makes me very sad, folks; I'm an Anglophile by nature, I think, but the Anglophilia was really jump started by Are You Being Served? and the other PBS Britcoms. Mr. Humphries was my favorite character and his portrayer a wonderful gentleman who was beloved by everyone who knew him. It is truly a sad loss; he will be sorely missed.
Though the character's fey, campy qualities are considered problematic by some, I always thought Mr. Humphries was actually a very positive portrayal of a gay man (especially for the 1970s). He was accepted and loved by his peers, had a rich and varied social life, and was, frankly, probably the most sensible one on the show. In sum, he was fabulous, in every sense of the word, and that's not a bad thing for a young gay to see on the TV sceen.
My sincerest condolences go out to his partner, friends, family, and fans. Farewell, John Inman, and thank you for the laughter.
The Ten Greatest Heterosexual Men Of Our Time
Thursday, March 08, 2007
In Which I Ste... Er... BORROW An Idea
Happy Now, Sparks?
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
I Insulted An Englishman
Looking for topics of conversation (I didn't know anyone there except for the guest of honor and one other person), I asked him, "So how did a nice Aussie like you doing in New Jersey?"
Finishing chewing a bite of sandwich, he gave a rather withering look, and said, "I'm not Australian."
"Really?" I rejoined. "New Zealander?"
"No, I'm an Englishman."
Turns out he's from London. Apparently, though, he's been mistaken for an Aussie before, even by real Aussies, so that made me feel better, since I'm rather good at recognizing accents, and, since the Australian accent is heavily based on London Cockney of the 19th century, it makes some sense that at least some areas of London still produce an accent that sounds similar.
Still, it was a bit... awkward. I was a little afraid he'd go hooligan on me there for a sec. But I wasn't headbutted from across the table, and we ended up having a nice conversation about John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. He's quite knowledgeable about American history, it turns out, moreso than most Americans, I'd hazard (though, sadly, that isn't terribly difficult).
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Apologia Pro Descriptivism
Language is not just for a few stuffy, self-appointed arbiters to hoard and lord over; language is for everyone!
To Be Honest, I HAVE Thought About It Before...
Saturday, March 03, 2007
|You'll die from an Unlikely Illness (like the plague).|
|You will unfortunately succumb to a random and unlikely disease. Only to find out after death that eating more broccoli would have cured you.|
|'How will you die?' at QuizGalaxy.com|
Thursday, March 01, 2007
I Amuse Myself So; or, I Have Absolutely Nothing Else To Write About Tonight, So I'll Throw This Out There
That's it; that's my story. Isn't it posts like this that keep you coming back?