Monday, December 31, 2007


There was some interest in seeing pictures of me in the suggestions for third birthday celebrations. As I've said before, I'm not a big picture guy, and don't really have a lot of them to show. I don't have any digitized pictures of me at my sister's wedding, so the most current I have are two years old.

Me, approximately two years ago, a lot chunkier.


Me, approximately seven years ago, when I was much thinner and cuter.

State Of The Blog Address: Past, Present, and Future

Ladies and gentlemen, those of indeterminate, intermediate, and/or neutral gender, the state of the blog is strong!

But what of the blog's humble proprietor? Following one of the suggestions posed to me for celebrating the third birthday of this blog, I now present to you a very short evaluation of the state of... well, me at the beginning of the blog, the present of the blog, and the future of the blog (projected).

December 2004

1) Entering last semester of college.

2) Unemployed.

3) Undersexed.

4) Neurotic.

5) Living at home.

6) Total nerd.

December 2007

1) Fully employed.

2) Undersexed.

3) Neurotic, but a little less so, I think.

4) Living at home.

5) An assured blogger.

6) Huuuuuuuuuge nerd.

December 2010

1) Employed at a full-time, rewarding job for lots and lots of money.

2) Still not getting as much as I want, but not a total monk.

3) Neurotic, but only in a charming way.

4) Place of my own.

5) Internationally-acclaimed blogger.

6) Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerd!

Third Birthday

Three years ago exactly, on a depressingly lonesome New Year's Eve, Bourgeois Nerd was born. A trio of years on, I'm still here and (I hope) going strong! It's amazing, really, since so many blogs that started at the same time, or even before, are long, long gone, yet I'm still here babbling on about nothing. Why? Simply put, I just enjoy this. It's nice to have a platform from which to spout whatever nonsense comes to mind; I find it therapeutic. And I've met so many people, many of whom I consider friends, doing this; I feel apart of an amazing worldwide community. So, as long as you all will have me, I'll be typing away!

Friday, December 28, 2007

Baby Pictures

Baby panda pictures, I should say! Much cuter and more interesting than human babies, I think. What good is a little squirming thing if it isn't all furry and squishable?

(Via Gawker)

Thursday, December 27, 2007

"We're Going Extinct, But...

...let's not think about that! I just just want to play!"

Questions, Questions, Questions

Unasked Questions 2007

More Questions

A Few More Questions

Another question, though: is it lazy blogging? I'd say yes. I know all about lazy blogging, though. Lazy blogging is what I'm all about!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

56(+) Nations

A handy pictorial guide to 56 subspecies of Homo geekicus. It's all grossly simplified, of course. There is much hybridization between subspecies, as well as lots of cross-fertilization, as well as taxonomic with Homo nerdicans, but it's a good overview for the layman.

(Via Pharyngula)

Ah, Memories! Recent, Horrible Memories!

One of the worst things about job-hunting is composing the cover letter. You want each one to be unique and tailored to the job being applied for, but they usually end up sounding exactly the same because you really have no idea what to write, and you've written about a thousand of them, and you're frustrated because NO ONE WILL GIVE YOU A JOB NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOUR STUPID-ASS COVER LETTER IS. *ahem* So, these parody cover letters? Rather heartbreakingly close to the real thing sometimes.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Anniversary Suggestions

This blog's third birthday is coming up in just a few days, and I was wondering if there were any special suggestions or requests for ways to mark such a momentous occasion. I meant to ask much sooner, since now it's likely I won't have the time or inclination to do a lot of work, but you never know.

Christmas Hangover

Well, another Christmas down! I hope everyone got lots and lots of presents under the tree and enjoyed the day.

I did very well this year. I got everything on my list! Unfortunately, I wasn't as Christmas cheery as I should have been. We all have (or at least I do) those blah days when you're just out of sorts, and, unfortunately, Christmas was one of them this year. I apologized to my mother for not being more upbeat; I feel really bad. I think that general Christmas ennui one gets once the day actually comes, and the prospect of going back to work tomorrow, got to me.

Christmas Card

Merry Christmas, everybody!!! Here's hoping Santa brings you everything you truly desire!

We Wish You A Beary Christmas!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Merry Christmas Adam!

What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Eve Eve is what I've always called it, but some utter genius out there realized that if you pun Christmas Eve as "Christmas Mother-of-Humanity-According-to-Judeo-Christan-Tradition," and Adam came before Eve, you get Christmas Adam. Brilliant! Oh, how I love the English language and its infinite plasticity!

(Via Joe. My. God.)

Feline Navidad

SOMEONE'S Having A Blue Christmas!

Papa Smurf! Or a frostbitten Santa, perhaps. He's not a freak, though, he's just ahead of the color-curve for 2008, y'all!

(Via Defamer)

You-Really-Should-Have-Kept-It-A-Secret Santas

UNsexy Santas [NSFW]

(Via Gay Fleshbot [NSFW])

Friday, December 21, 2007

The Downer Christmas Post

It's not exactly unusual, unexpected, or even unreasonable to lose a bit of the feeling of Christmas magic as you get older. When you're a kid, Christmas is getting off from school, enjoying the anticipation of Santa, and getting presents to tear through under the Christmas tree. When you're older, there's no Santa, you get maybe two days off, tops, and you have to spend hours of time and tons of money getting everyone something. Feel the magic!

Still, and maybe it's just nostalgia talking, I really think Christmas isn't what it used to be. There seemed to be a heyday of Christmas between 1930 and maybe like 1990 when almost all the Christmas classics in terms of songs, movies, and TV specials were made, and just about everything since then sucks. I think it might have something to do with the cynicism and jadedness we have today, as well as our gross superficiality and media-saturation. Christmas is concentrated schmaltz and sentimentality, and in today's hyper-slick, hyper-sleek, hyper-hyper world, schmaltz and sentimentality just don't fit in very well. It's difficult to be Christmas cheery when we know just how crappy, and getting crappier all the time, the world is. It makes the "Christmas makes everything better and special and shiny!" delusion that is necessary really, really hard to maintain.

And though I always roll my eyes and want to cry, "Bullshit!" when people deride how commercialized Christmas is, because it's always been commercial, at least since the end of the 19th century, but today's commercialism does seem to have an uglier tone that sort of weighs everything down, as well. I don't know quite how to explain it, but there's a desperation and an emptiness, even a listless mechanistic-ness, to it that doesn't leave one with the holly-jollies. (I'm convinced that holiday specials are a cause of this, in a perverse way. After decades of cloying, preachy, "True Meaning of Chrismas" stories beating us over the head with "Christmas is about family and friends and love, not presents and money and superficial things!" I sincerely believe Americans half go Mammonic at Christmas out of spite.)

Am I a rose-colored glasses-wearing old humbug who just thinks that everything's gone downhill since "my day," or does anyone else feel the same?

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Sounds Of The Season

Believe it or not, I'm not really a maudlin person. I'm far too neurotic to be a total sad-sack. But I have noticed as the years go by that what I think I like most about Christmas are the songs. As you saw the other day, my favorite Christmas songs are a diverse lot, with jolly ones, traditional ones, and modern ones, but it's the more low-tempo melancholy ones, like "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas," and "I'll Be Home For Christmas" that are my favorites. I particularly find myself drawn to those as sung by Karen Carpenter who, either because she felt that way or because I project it back into them because of how her life ended, seemed to add a very bittersweet note to them that I find appealing.

The touch of melancholy in those particular songs somehow fits Christmas for me. They bring to mind bundling up by the fire or, my favorite holiday act, standing in the peaceful, quiet dark when everyone else is asleep, looking at the Christmas tree all lit up. Stillness and light: that's Christmas to me.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Steroid Scandal!

The Hulk? Captain America? Juicers? Say it ain't so! My innocence, she is lost!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Giant Rat And Tiny Possum

Most people would go "Eeeeek!" at a new giant rat, while I go "Awwwww!" He's just so pudgy and "Whatevs!" And regular possums really aren't that cute, but pygmy possums are a whole other story!


Am I really a sissy, prissy freak because I don't like to spit? Other guys seem to think hocking phlegm and/or saliva whenever the mood strikes is perfectly acceptable, whereas I think it's disgusting. Just swallow your damn spit, y'all!

Monday, December 17, 2007

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Bourgeois Nerd's Favorite Christmas Songs:

"Jingle Bells" (Gotta love the classics!)

"Deck the Halls" (I want some boughs of holly!)

"Silent Night" (This song's actually as pretty in the original German as it is in English.)

"Holly, Jolly Christmas" (Nothing beats Berl Ives as a claymation snowman with a banjo!)

"Jingle Bell Rock" and "Rocking Around The Christmas Tree" (I always get these two mixed up, but I love both. I mean, what's NOT to love about rockabilly Christmas songs?)

"O Tannenbaum/Oh Christmas Tree" (Depends on how Teutonic you're feeling what you want to call it.)

"Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" (If the Fates allow, of course! What the Fates have to do with a holiday celebrating a deity from a completely different belief system, I don't know.)

"White Christmas" (I don't think I've ever actually had a white Christmas; several white Thanksgivings, but no Christmases.)

"I'll Be Home For Christmas" (The last line, "I'll be home for Christmas/if only in my dreams" always gets to me.)

"Last Christmas" (What can I say, I love the cheesy 80s stuff! There's a new version of it I heard by Jimmy Eat World or something that's actually not that awful, but it'll never replace the one, the only George Michael original. This is actually one of my mother and me's favorite Christmas songs to listen to on the radio as we go around shopping.)

"All I Want For Christmas (Is You)" (Just about the only thing Mariah sings I actually like.)

"Little Drummer Boy" (Rum-pum-pum-pum!)

"Santa Baby" (Who can resist Eartha Kitt purring about getting diamonds? Madonna's version is actually pretty good, too.)

"Here Comes Santa Claus" (I always wanted to live on Santa Claus Lane.)

"Twelve Days of Christmas" (Just because I love how no one can ever really get through it, because it's long as hell and no one really knows all the parts.)

"The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting)" (It's just not Christmas without Nat King Cole.)

"Dominic, The Italian Christmas Donkey" (I'd never heard of this song until my sister started dating my very Italian now-brother-in-law, but now it's one of my favorites in the "really stupid, but still somehow cute" category. Yee-haw-yee-haw!)

"Run, Run Rudolph" (One of the few Christmas songs that really makes you want to dance.)

"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" (Grandma's a lush and the victim of a hit-and-run accident. Merry Christmas!)

"Happy XMas (War Is Over)" (Who would have thought Yoko Ono could help create a good Christmas song?)

"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" (Your mother's a whooooooooore! Call me when Daddy's kissing Santa Claus, though.)

"Mele Kalikimaka" (Indelibly linked to one of my favorite Christmas movies, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.)

For more on Christmas music, Wikipedia is, as usual, a treasure trove.

More Sidebar Additions

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