Thursday, July 31, 2008

I Ain't Dead, I'm Just Resting My Eyes.

I've been really sucky at the blogging thing lately, I know. I blame the summer doldrums. It's certainly not that I've been jetting about interesting places having interesting adventures. If you were worrying (and I doubt you were), don't; I'm still here.

Monday, July 28, 2008


Huge Pause

A bear walks into a bar and says, "I want a bourbon and............... coke"

The bartender asks "what's with the huge pause?"

The bear says, "I've had them all my life."

(Via Comedy Central Jokes)

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Shady Pines, Ma!

At the risk of Toby calling me "really gay" (though, honestly, I am), I sadly report the passing of Estelle Getty aka Sophia Petrillo. She had been afflicted with dementia and ill health for some time. She's undoubtedly laying out comfortably up in the lanai in the sky, eating a big slice of cheesecake as we speak.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Into The Belly Of The Beast

An Australian (and why is that not surprising?) vet put his hand down the gullet of a Gray Nurse shark to remove a hook stuck in its stomach. My favorite part is at the end, when they release the shark back into the water, and he's all, "Cheers, mate!"

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Kitteh Loves Bunneh

Another example of interspecies adoption. It's amazing, not just that a cat, dedicated carnivores if ever there were ones, would adopt a prey animal instead of killing it, but also that the milk of such disparate and distantly related mammals are compatible.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Wonders Of Chemistry

The Periodic Table of Videos, starring a delightful British gentleman with an awesome gray corona of a 'Fro!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Hey, Baby, How About We Get Together And Exchange Some W Bosons?

I wish I knew someone that would find these subatomic plush toys as amusing as I do, so I could give them as a birthday or Christmas present. It seems such a waste.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Mah Baby!

A rejected red panda cub is adopted by a kind-hearted cat. There's just something about interspecies adoption that tugs at the old heartstrings. I guess it's that it reminds us that, in the end, we're all the same, no matter our species, let alone silly things like color or religion or sexual orientation. We all need our mommies.

(Via Cute Overload)


Font nerds such as myself might find this site useful, perfect for figuring out just what that font you like on that poster or website is.

(Via Lifehacker)

Friday, July 11, 2008

In The Presence of Greatness

I had the honor and privilege this evening to bask in the radiance of the divine, the delectable, the delicious, the one, the only, Chi Chi LaRue at the 14th Annual Philadelphia International Gay & Lesbian Film, where she showed an "ego trip" film of highlights of her career. A series of hardcore clips, interspersed with music, B-roll highlights of her non-sexual roles, and snapshots of her encounters with celebrities, the best part was the hilarious running commentary Ms. LaRue provided like Tom Servo in a huge blonde wig and heels. Ms. LaRue was resplendant in a Stevie Nicks-esque sparkly, flowy, chiffony number, with matching high heels and astoundingly teased wig. She is a born raconteur, and had us audience members eating out of the palm of her hand. Charming, bawdy, and just plain entertaining, she was born to be in front of a crowd.

Accompanying Ms. LaRue were two of her stable of stars, Johnny Hazzard and Blake Riley. Not that it's THAT shocking, but they are hooooooot. Seriously, Johnny Hazzard is stunningly beautiful, and Blake Riley totally sweet boy-next-door (who also happens to be a porn star) cute. Scott, you have got to lasso them into your dungeon of iniquity. Riley is totally in your prey-base, and Hazzard is one of those "dirty birds" you love so much. I was particularly interested in seeing how tall they were, because porn stars are notorious for being a lot shorter in real life than you'd think (it makes them look bigger), but it was hard to tell from the distance and the fact that they were standing next to a drag queen in high heels and hair teased halfway up to the ceiling. I can say, though, thanks to their tight shirts and painted-on jeans that I don't quite know how they got on they were so snug, especially Mr. Riley's, that they are ripped.

The raison d'etre of the event was the film, but really the heart of the show was the Q&A. I was lucky enough to have been able to ask two questions, one to Ms. LaRue and one to Messrs. Hazzard and Riley. The one to Ms. LaRue was if she was ever going to write another book. She answered that she'd really written the first one too early in her career, and it took so long and was so tedious to write that she's not sure if she'd want to do another one, but it was something she probably should do, so the answer was "a definite maybe." The question to the porn star pair was, "Has porn expanded your sexual repetoir, as it were, or were you always a whore?" Blake Riley said, to the guffaws of the crowd, that he'd been a whore before, but the movies had definitely stretched his horizons and taken him out of his comfort zone. Johnny Hazzard, who seems a laconic sort who doesn't waste or mince words, which I found inexplicably a turn-on, said he actually has less sex now that he does porn than he did before because he's a bit bored of it. I was quite pleased with myself that I got two questions in, though I must admit I kind of regretted the "or were you always a whore" part of the second one. I was jesting, but porn stars probably hear that stuff all the time, and often in less-than-flattering terms, and I'm afraid I may have insulted them, which I didn't mean to at all. I have nothing but respect for those who put literally everything out there for the world to see.

Anyway, a great time was had by all, and I even walked away with a goody bag with free porn in it, courtesy of TLA Entertainment, Philly's own DVD distribution powerhouse and my own personal porn purveyor of choice. If you ever get a chance to meet Ms. LaRue, grab it. She's a hoot-and-a-half and a sincerely fabulous person.

Thursday, July 10, 2008


A ghostly new slug species is found in Wales. They sure ain't Caspar, though; they're carnivorous with "blade-like teeth." Of course, they're only a danger if you're worm, but still: EEK!

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

More Fun With Spam

I know I've been a bit obsessed with spam message message lines lately, but they're just so crazy-brilliant!

Does your witch make you sick? Cheer up!

I'll have you know that my witch is a lovely woman!

I am frightened what some people do with females!

Well, it ain't my thing, but I'm not frightened of it, per se.

Hi! This is Lesley from last Saturday night's video shoot.

Who on earth would not know this is spam? I mean, it's actual, grammatical English, yes, but just how many people are there that could go, "I don't recall a Lesley, but I did spend Saturday night shooting that YouTube video of that squirrel doing a cartwheel in the park. Lesley must have been one of those people in the background; I think I'll open this email!"?

Try and living up to them, to you will spend all seems for nothing

I just love the nonsensical poetry of this.

Divorcement Arguments. Beasts Incriminated.

Well, if someone made an ultimatum between a pet and a partner, I know I'd have a hard time choosing.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Another Blogger With The Good Taste To Link Here

Added another reciprocating link in the sidebar: Tenacious Alabaster Fig. Check out the drawings; Monsieur Ricola is a talented artist.

Annotate THIS!

Decrypt the runic mysteries of grading annotations with this handy chart!

Bourgeois Book Club

I've been reading a lot of nonfiction lately, and extremely fortunate to have read some really, really good nonfiction, so I thought I'd share in case anyone was headed to the beach and wanted to pick something up to read.

A Voyage Long and Strange by Tony Horwitz

A book about the early European explorations and attempts at the colonization of America, with particular attention paid to the period between 1492 and 1620 that is so often ignored or glossed over in conventional American history. Alternating between colorful travelogue and primary-source-grounded history, it's a humor-filled trip through the country's early days, warts and all. It's also a fascinating meditation on the construction and propagation of myth. What collective we's choose to remember, and to forget, and why is really as interesting as the history itself.

Happy Endings by Jim Norton

You may know Jim Norton from his many appearances on the late night talk shows, the Opie & Anthony radio show, or from the show I first saw him on, the late, lamented (by me about five other people) Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. As one website I read put it, Jim Norton is at the forefront of the "cringe comedy" movement, and I find that a pretty good description of his style: un-PC, shocking, and a little gross. It's also incredibly insightful, intelligent, and poignant. The poignancy comes from its confessional quality: Norton makes vicious fun himself and his friends more than anyone, gleefully regaling readers with stories of his insecurities and sexual proclivities. Written as a series of short diary-like entries, Norton mines his past days as a teenage alcoholic, his stand-up career, his insecurities about his body, his celebrity encounters, his disasters with women, and his propensity for hookers and happy-ending masseuses to leave you alternately laughing uproariously and cringeing uncomfortably.

The Great Transformation by Karen Armstrong

Karen Armstrong is a British ex-nun, well-known and respected for her writing on religion, particularly the history of religion. This book deals with the historical epoch some call the "Axial Age," a period of intense religious and philosophical effervescence that formed all the major religions and philosophies that dominate the world today. The book basically examines some of the great themes Armstrong sees among the different Axial traditions and their formation during this time. The historical and religious background is fascinating, and the writing superb and backed by prodigous research, but I did find Armstrong a bit too strong in emphasizing what she believed was the "spirit" of the Axial Age and what wasn't. Frankly, at times it felt like she was repeatedly hitting you over the head with a large frying pan to make her points and argue her theses, particularly her constant call for the world to go back to the "authentic," and in her view almost entirely tolerant and peaceful, traditions of the Axial Age as a way to deal with some of the sectarian strife, particularly between Islam and Christianity, going on today. It's a nice thought, but I think she oversimplifies things a bit, and emphasizes too much the peaceful, conciliatory aspects of the Axial traditions, with everything warlike and intolerant being later excrescences added by people who she thinks just didn't get it. Still, it's a great read, and extremely educating.

Mayflower by Nathaniel Philbrick

I actually bought and started this book about a year ago, but only just picked it back up and finished. A well-deserved Pulitzer Prize winning book, it tells the story of the Pilgrims and Plymouth, going far beyond the old "shoebuckle-hats and turkey" song and dance we learn in grade school, and paying particular attention to the complicated interactions with the Native tribes. Relations with the tribes were marked by a remarkably high level of cooperation and friendship for decades, but even from the beginning there were currents and strains that ultimately blew up into the bloody (and almost completely forgotten) King Philip's War that decimated the New England tribes and signaled the triumph of English settlement.

God, I'm such a nerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd!

Sunday, July 06, 2008

British Sex Toys

I just got a very nice email from a gentleman named Chris complimenting me on the blog and asking if I wanted to host a text ad for this British sex toy site (definitely NSFW). I politely declined, because I'm dumb and don't want to make money apparently, but you know me, I'm always a sucker for a well-written email with correct capitalization and punctuation (not to mention a man with an accent), so if you're in the market for some sex toys, please give their very comprehensive site a gander.

Skimpy Sunday

(Via Jason Curious [NSFW]; Towleroad; The Pretty Boys Club; Francois Sagat [NSFW]; GayAlfacinhalLX [NSFW])

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Junk Email Subject Line Of The Week

"Bertram Irene" exclaims, "I am astonished what they can do with ladies!" Yes, Bertram, it is absolutely astonishing.