Things You Just Don't Want To Hear

Is there anything worse than a parent in a sharing mood? Today, as my mother and I sat in the eye doctor's office, the news was talking about Obama not being such a dick to marijuana users. My mother joked that maybe she could use some of that for the arm she broke a few weeks ago, and then proceeded to ASK ME IF I EVER SMOKED POT! IN THE MIDDLE OF A DOCTOR'S WAITING ROOM!!!1111!!!!ELEVENTY!!! Despite the fact that I've never taken an illegal substance in my boring-ass life -- heck, I've never even been drunk -- and thus had nothing to hide, I was still flabbergasted. But then she proceeded to tell me that she'd tried marijuana once with a bunch of my father's friends (the one part that didn't surprise me, actually; remind you to tell you one day about the fate of my father's groomsmen). Again, IN THE MIDDLE OF A DOCTOR'S OFFICE. My mother. Marijuana use. Apparently, she didn't know you puffed and passed, which she thought was "not very sanitary," it didn't really do much, she just kept talking, and my dad's friends vowed never to smoke with her again. I just didn't need to know this information.