Prehistoric Pussy

The domestic cat may be older than previously thought. And, yes, I know "prehistoric pussy" is an obvious and hacky title, but it's what leaped to mind, so suck it.

Well, Now I Know EXACTLY What To Charge My Escorting Clients For Use Of My Body!

$4205.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth

Mingle² - Online Dating

(Via Pharyngula)

Living Out Your Golden [Retriever] Years In Comfort

Where else but in Japan would one find a nursing home for dogs? It's actually not a bad idea, though, I think, if a tad redolent of wealthy overindulgence and extreme anthropomorphism.

(Via Clipmarks)

New Favorite Number

Q: What's a 68?

A: You do me and I owe you!

(Via Comedy Central Jokes)

Fit For A Horse?

Ass.

Rick James Said It Best

"Cocaine's a hell of a drug!"

(Via Defamer)

A Shot Of Biblio-Caffeine

Behold the future, ladies and gentlemen: the Espresso! Who knew the cafes in Borders and Barnes & Noble and such would be so ironically prescient?

(Via Bookninja)

A Thought I Haven't Had Since He Became A Calista Flockhart-Lovin' Award Show Drunk

Damn if I ever thought I'd say this about a sixty-something who got an earring and a stick-figure during his midlife crisis, but Harrison Ford actually looks kinda sexy. It's the fedora, I expect; that thing is magic! I'm kinda looking forward to the new Indiana Jones, even if it'll probably be totally disappointing.

Skimpy Sundays: Sporty Edition

(Via Towleroad)

I Can Haz Swimming Pul?

Cow in a pool. I love how the cow's all like, "What, bitches? I'm hot! Can't a bovine get a little swimming action without all the drama?"

(Via Defamer)

Speaking Of Bears...

Giant Panda ancestors not so giant. Can you imagine the adorableness that must have been a wee Panda? Quick, someone build a time bridge to the Pliocene! Cute Overload! needs pictures, stat! OMG!

Man Vs. Nature

Marine wins battle with bear. As a lover of all of Nature's adorable creatures, especially bears, I would usually be upset by this story. But the guy feels bad about killing the bear, which means he's dangerous but with a squishy side, and that makes me really want to fuck him. I bet he's a total DILF.

BTW, they shouldn't call the guy an "ex-Marine." Once a Marine, always a Marine! I learned that from Scott (who also probably knows a thing or two about "knocking out" "bears" with his "log").

(Via Defamer)

Baby Boom

Siberian tigers experience a baby (or should it be cub?) boom in captivity this year.

Sorry, Kids, You Can't Read This Blog Without Adult Supervision

Mingle² - Online Dating

(Via Bill in Exile)

River Rumble

Which is longer: the Nile or the Amazon? Does it matter? As they say, it's not the size of the river, it's the current!

Too Much Damn Wang

The Chinese are running out of names.

(Via Clipmarks)

I've Always Wanted An Evil Twin, Myself

In belated honor of last Friday's Daytime Emmies: soap cliches!

In Defense...

...of Britishisms. As an unabashed Anglophile, I've been known to bust out a "bloody" and "git" and such from time to time, though not terribly often. I also definitely prefer a few British spellings (particularly "judgement" instead of the American "judgment"). On the whole, though, I'm a patriotic Yank in my idioletical choices. Doesn't mean I don't have the right to get down with my Limey self, though!

(Via Maud Newton)

The Music Of The Spheres

The moon Titan rocks! As for the musical tastes of other moons, Europa is more R&B, while Io is really into Death Metal. Ganymede is, of course, the gay one, so it's all show tunes, disco, and electronica.

Skimpy Sundays

(Via Underneath; The Pretty Boys Club)

Blue Beauty

Baby Turtle: "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille!"

I'll Scream!

I will scream if I have to watch Alicia Keyes husk her voice at and Cheryl Crow condescend to me one more time in that stupid American Express "we care, we really do; now, go run up those credit card bills!" commercials! And I appreciate a nice redheaded man, but that guy (I know he's an Olympic athlete or something, but I don't know his name) is freaky-looking. Also, what the hell is Ellen Degeneres talking about with her "joke" about the flaming swimsuit?

Cockteases

As I've said more than once, I'm not one of those gays obsessed by straight boys or anything. I like the possibility of reciprocation in my hypothetical relationships. (Okay, okay, I had one major, major crush on a straight guy in high school. His name was Nils and he was dreamy.) Which is not to say, of course, that I don't appreciate a fine-looking man, no matter his sexuality. And, when the vast majority of men are heterosexual, it's hard to only ever lust after the homosexual ones. I simply choose to waste most of my lusting energies on men who enjoy man-on-man buggery.

But sometimes, straight guys make it so damn hard! There's this one guy I'm working with, really cool, former jock, really cute, who wears his shorts down on his hips just enough that when he lifts his shirt a little, to scratch an itch or whatever, he flashes his boxers. Now, I don't even like boxers, but this just drives me wild! He, of course, hasn't the faintest clue that what it does to me (I manage to keep my salivating under control). In a way, that makes it ever hotter.

So what unconscious little things have straight men (or women or whoever you fancy) do that drives you wild?

Dr. Thelovethatdarenotspeakitsname

I wasn't going to really comment about that Pentagon "gay bomb" thing (which, BTW, wasn't there a story about the exact same thing a while ago? Why is it getting so much play now?), but I can't resist a parody involving the word "fruiclear".

So Bad It's... Just Bad

Musicians and sci-fi movies just shouldn't mix.

Two Descriptors That Can Be Applied To Me

syllogomania

noun compulsive hoarding

faineant

adj idle and ineffectual: indolent

PSA (For The Ladies)

Errrr... don't let a rich old man who never cuts his fingernails and has had more than one wife die on him near your lady parts. It might just save your life!

(Via Edward II)

The Perfect Title

Believe it or not, I put some thought into my post titles, because it's important and also rather hard. I don't succeed, probably, most of the time, and sometimes I just can't be bothered to sit and think about it for a year (especially when it's just some lame-ass piffle of no particular import), but it is an issue I care about rather a lot, even if what I'm writing on this blog isn't terribly important or artistically significant enough to warrant it.

(Via Bookninja)

Skimpy Sundays

(Via The Pretty Boys Club)

One Night Only (If You're Bad At It)

Vince is pondering the rules of one-night stands. Maybe it's the fact that I don't have a lot of experience with or opportunity to "practice," but I don't really have rules for one-night stands. I could go either full-on slut or 50s good girl; it all depends on the mood and the chemistry and the situation. But, like I said, it might just be the sexual frustration talking.

What are your rules?

A Totally Trivial Epiphany

While at work today, for some insane reason only the Muses know the rationale behind, it hit me that the word "yearling" for a young horse just means they're a year old. It's just a compound of the word "year" and a diminutive. Twenty-four years that took me to figure out!

Girl, PLEASE!

Have you seen that new Ask.com commercial with the guy singing "I got what I was looking for" where what he's looking for is pictures of chicks with little clothing fighting one another with swords? Am I the only one who's all like, "Oh, please! That guy's so flaming he's melting the stage under him!"? I mean, really, what straight man sings musical-theater style? And that guy has both gayface and a bubble butt. Ask.com ain't fooling anyone!

Hollywood Hates Everyone Who Loved Cartoons As A Kid

They're doing a Thundercats movie. That's just... wrong! I mean, really, the series wasn't exactly the height of artistry, but at least had kitsch and, nowadays, nostalgia going for it; a movie of it will just plan suck. And who on Third Earth could possibly play Mum-Ra, the Everliving?!?! Ain't no one with enough awesome to rock the bandages and the kilt!

Blog Update

I'm semi-employed for the summer, working four days a week, so blogging might be lighter-than-usual while I get myself back into the working groove, since I can't stay up to four a.m. as has been my wont. I'll probably be back to normal posting frequency in, like, two days, making this post moot, but I couldn't come up with anything else to write tonight, so whatever.

One Of My Little Turn-Ons...

...tanlines! NSFW

(Via Gay Fleshbot)

A Joke To Start Off The Week

Misguided

A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide. On the third day, the hikers noticed that they had been traveling in circles.

''We're lost!'' One of the hikers complained.

''And you said you were the best guide in the United States.''

''I am,'' the guide answered, '' but I think we may have wandered into Canada.''

(Via Comedy Central Jokes)

I'm Up For Anything Involving A "Dungeon Master"!

I never actually played DnD (though I read the books anyway, which makes me even dorkier), but this makes me wish I had.

(Via Pharyngula)

Be Afraid; Be Very Afraid

The spam has evolved!

Skimpy Sundays

(Via The Pretty Boys Club; Roids and Rants NSFW; Towleroad)

Math

I'm pretty typical for an English major with regards to math: not really good at it, sort of scared by it, and terribly jealous of those who are good at it (who often make a lot more money than us loser humanities majors, but then we have the satisfaction of being prettier and more cultured, so there!). I got a 790 verbal on my SATs (and tried several times to get an 800), but never higher than about 560 on the math portion. I'm often bemused, and a little scared, then, by the fact that my math skills are still above average for society at large: I understand percentages, can do all basic computations, and know enough about statistics to be leery of them.

Still, I'm really not a math person. For all my years of honors math classes, which were always my least-favorite and lowest-grading classes, I know very little about geometric proofs, derivatives, quadratic equations, etc. Whatever I once knew, I've long since purged from my memory banks in an effort to suppress the trauma of those classes (some of them were really bad).

But, ironically, I'm a very numerological person. I'm obsessed by certain numbers and having certain numbers of things. I'll actually buy something I'm on the fence about because the price comes out to, say, an even number or something. My favorite numbers are 0, 2, 8, and numbers comprised thereof, but I also have a thing for 3s and 5s as well. I often looking for patterns in groups of numbers and attach superstitious import to certain numbers for certain occasions. For instance, at the height of my OCD (before I started taking pills), I would "knock wood" in groups of threes. I also enjoy reading about the history of math; Zero: The Biography of a Dangerous Idea by Charles Seife is one of my favorite books.

All of this goes to show that, if you're a crazy bundle of contradictions like me anyway, one can be both math-phobic and math-obsessed!