Thursday, June 30, 2005
But I'm not a woman, no matter how much of a fag I am!!! I'm all man, baby! *grips crotch in obscene gesture*
Cindy also waxes "nostalgic" for the Clinton years.
(FYI: This post was drafted before I went off on gay assimilationalism for the second time in as many days. I promise this'll be the last word from me on the issue of gay rights for at least a few days. I can't keep writing all this heavy stuff; it's both tiring and depressing for me.)
What has happened to us homosexuals? How did we get infected with this notion that if we just act like we're still in the closet (a see-through model that allows just enough light in for others to see we like the same sex but not enough to show anything else), the homophobes will just instantly like us and give us equal rights? It ain't gonna happen, people!!! Haters will always hate. And I really don't think the "in-betweeners" are damaged by images of drag queens and leather daddies.
Maybe, though, the question is what didn't happen to us homosexuals? It seems that, instead of trying to make the dream of an accepting and inclusive world a reality, we've allowed ourselves to devolve (or simply stay) nothing more than a collection of bitchy cliques united only by a love of dick (or pussy). Now, not only are we sexually, racially, geographically, generationally, and fetishistically divided, we're divided into the "normals" and the "freaks." Instead of a "rainbow" of harmony and community, we're a sad minority riven by petty differences. We're pathetic!
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Before, I had to go use Hello (a Google product, BTW, which is also the parent company of Blogger. Coincidence? Hmmmm.... I mean, we all know corporations would never take advantage of synergies between their companies to the detriment or inconvenience of their customers. That's just CrazY talk!!!). While hardly hard labor, it was still a much too long and complicated process. Finally, though, they've cut through the middleman!
Anyway, ever since the change, I've wanted to try it out, but kept waiting for an image to come along I would have posted anyway. Well, days without such an image's appearance later, I finally said "Screw it!" and just posted this here picture above and found the new method of picture posting is a pretty easy and straightforward process. Good job, Blogger-Bots!
"So much connects us beyond sexuality," the network president, Brian Grazer, says. Excuse me, but WHAT? I mean, on one level, he's totally correct. Gay men and women and transgenders are no more purely sexual beasts than heterosexuals (though a lot more honest about the role of sexuality in their lives). On another level, however, sexuality (and the life experiences that come as a direct result of that sexuality) is the only thing that connects a lot of gay people! We're defined by our sexuality; that's why they call us homosexuals!!!
Usually, I defend shows and actors who are "non-threatening" and "stereotypical" gay and lesbian figures (i.e. the Fab Five, Ellen, etc.) from those deranged and out-of-touch-with-reality queer radicals who want only Goldilocks (not too sexy, not too unsexy, not too white, not too colored, and on and on) depictions of homosexuals. Those "non-threatening" figures are, by their nature, just small and limited snapshots of the gay community, in the same way Queer as Folk, an almost-panto production of rampant white gay male sexuality and melodrama, is. Neither depiction is complete or perfect; the human race and its works are neither complete nor perfect, so limited depictions are all we have. No one show or actor or book or whatever has an intrinsic duty to, or quite frankly the possibility of, be[ing] all things to all people. Yes, one can argue that too sexualized a depiction can just reinforce homophobic stereotypes or that neutered gay characters are modern Al Jolsons donning "blackface" for the amusement of Middle America, but homophobes will believe what they believe regardless and laughter can go a long way towards acceptance.
HOWEVER, if you call yourself a "gay channel," explicitly trying to be all things to all people and represent the whole of the gay experience (despite the fact that you can't and can't be blamed for being unable to), then simply getting rid of any hint of gay sexuality is downright sinful, especially since, protestations to the contrary, it is under pressure from conservative economic and cultural forces. While you can't, and don't have to, have non-stop porn, to simply dismiss sexual content is the worst form of caving in the face of opposition. Sexuality is a huge part of human life. Homosexuals are every bit as human as heterosexuals (and does any channel shy away from hetersexuality???). What Logo is doing, then, is nothing less than denying our humanity.
For shame, Logo, for shame!!!
Sorry, Cindy and Vince, but, now that I'm on the threshold of the big time, I have to dump your asses. Nothing personal, of course; you're simply no longer of use to me as I claw my way up the social order of the blogosphere! (I kid, I kid, I kid, guys! Or do I???? *dun dun DUN*)
One is a lovely quip about those damn meme thingies: they "appeal to bloggers because [they have] “me” in it, twice." The second is a marvelous description of how inveterate bookworm, such as myself, feel upon selling or giving away a large number of books.
Such a purge feels good, once the initial hesitation is overcome. There is even a kind of giddiness, as the herd begins to thin. But afterwards, I always have pangs of regret. When you need it, a missing title is like a phantom limb. There’s a maddening and persistent itch you can no longer scratch.
Couldn't have said it better myself!
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Monday, June 27, 2005
Sunday, June 26, 2005
- Did you know that there is actually a poisonous primate (biochemically, not spiritually, as some humans are)? But it's so cute, you say! Well, you're right, but it's got big-ass fangs and secretes a nasty toxin from glands at its elbows! (It slathers the toxin onto its teeth).
Speaking of cuteness, while cooing at the lorises, take a look at "Venomdoc." He's a total hottie!
- Yeast seems to have developed alcoholism some 80 million years ago. See, people, it wasn't the Irish!!!
- Want to know the hot new destination for androphobic lesbians? The Island of the Amazon Insects.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
(Via The Unsinkable Cindy Best)
Friday, June 24, 2005
I'm really interested in the rare books trade. (Though, oddly enough, I've never been to a store.) I've been emailing a few places in my area asking if they need any help, but no nibbles thus far. If anyone out there knows anything about antiquarian bookselling (especially how to get a job in it), please let me know. It'd be greatly appreciated!
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Tremble before the
Eye of Sauron!!!
The ever-helpful and supportive Cindy (aka The Unsinkable Cindy Best; aka The Notorious C.A.B.) sent this link to an artist who makes book furniture. Tres chic!
Faggoty-Ass Faggot investigates the depths of nerdiness at Microsoft.
Begosh and Begorrah! No wonder the Irish drink; school fairly forces them to!
(Via Inside Higher Ed)
It may be a few shades less "subtle" than yesterday's underwear, but it's even hotter, I say. DAMN!!!
Iris Chang, who I've written about before, is getting a statue.
Who knew middle-aged Russian bankers could have such street cred?
I'm only vaguely aware of who Derek Jeter is (and only because he dated Mariah Carey's crazy ass) and have never seen or hear of the other guy in my life, but this picture gives me dirty, dirty thoughts.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen).
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
In other gay news, not only are we sinful, but we're also totally subtle! But what about guys who curve the other way, as pointed out by the readers of Towleroad? And what about guys like me who go straight up? Will someone please think of the right- and non-curved dicks!!!
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Unfortunately, my pick didn't even get into the top five. In fifth place was Rhabarbermarmelade (rhubarb marmelade). Fourth place went to Augenblick (a moment; literally "a blink of the eyes). In third place was lieben (to love), which is quite predictable, I guess. Second place went to Geborgenheit (security or shelter). And the word voted the most beautiful in the German language: Habseligkeiten (belongings or possessions, especially of a humble or poor nature). Not a terribly beautiful list, IMHO. Frankly, it's a bit uninspiring. But I wasn't on the panel of judges, so I guess what I think really doesn't matter. Still, don't judge German by these words; there are lots of much more fun and interesting German words out there!
(Via We, Like Sheep)
Monday, June 20, 2005
circleinasquare is the blog of a "neighbor" (in a sort of regional/metropolitan way) of mine in Philadelphia. He's a hot bear-ish type who definitely doesn't update enough.
Did we do anything important today? is the blog of a communications adjunct professor. I just love the name of the blog; it's a question I heard many a time in my school career and always thought was kinda annoying, even as a student (though I suppose I must have asked a teacher something similar at points).
Lucas Blog is the blog of gay pornographer and enfant terrible Michael Lucas. I have my doubts as to whether or not he actually writes it, but it's still amusing and brusquely honest. (And his dog, Bianca, is absolutely beautiful! Prettier than her owner, IMHO.)
Shoot Me Now is the blog of a gay man now living in LA. I don't know why, really, I read it because I don't really like the author and kinda think he's a dick. He also can't seem to capitalize and format correctly, which gets really annoying. But it's compelling, somehow.
We, Like Sheep is the wonderful blog of an Episcopalian, neurotic gay New Yorker that I quite literally just finished reading (I go through the full archives of new blogs when I find them). His neurotic nature and love of linguistics makes me feel spiritually connected to him.
Wormtalk and Slugspeak is the blog of an English professor specializing in Old and Middle English, medieval literature, and sci-fi/fantasy (particularly Tolkien). Just really smart and interesting.
I like to think I have some taste, so I hope you enjoy them.
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Your English Skills:
Saturday, June 18, 2005
I may be a crab, sir. I may be a "bilateral gynandromorph," sir. But I'm still more man than you'll ever be and more woman than any you'll ever get!
Friday, June 17, 2005
Also, as some Towleroad readers commented, this is news? Locker room sex isn't some strange twenty-first century technology Silicon Valley just churned out. Way to be ahead of the curve, NYT editors!
(Via Maud Newton)
Thursday, June 16, 2005
On days such as the past few, the mind boggles as to how our ancestors lived for millions of years without air conditioning. The very thought of it makes me wilt.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
P.S. I want to send a big ole "Get well soon!" to George, the Original Ninja (and occasional reader of this here blog), currently felled by "colds and flus... in a two week span of unbearable heat." Stay strong, my Canuck brother!
Gawker gets in on the word nerd thing. So which paper got the commas right? I think the Daily News' headline looks better typographically, but I think the Post's might be more correct. Any opinions?
Those crazy Canadians! What will they do next? Don't they know they'll die in hellfire and brimstone for the sins of humor and tolerance, while the good Christian USA, stuffy and bigoted, will be rewarded in Heaven???
An update on that Harry Potter theft/shooting thingie from a few weeks ago: they've appeared in court and have been set free on bail. More importantly, one of the accused is as yummy as a plate of scones!!! Fancy a game of quidditch, Mr. Lambert?
University presses are struggling to survive now that the scholarly monograph market is in decline. Relatedly, the college textbook industry is seeing slow growth. Gee, I wonder why! I mean, who wouldn't want at least ten copies of The Sociological Importance of Table Salt in Late Eighteenth-Century Dutch Colonial Literature? And who wouldn't like to pay $300.00 for a Macroeconomics package containing a paperback textbook and twenty supplements you'll never even look at? I just don't understand it! (I sarcasticize [is there a noun form of sarcasm???] because I love. I love obscure treatises; I have a positive fetish for textbooks, as I've written before. That doesn't mean I can't see the foibles and absurdities of their attendant industries.)
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
The funny haircut one aside, however, I don't much care for "memes." I find them annoying as all heck. The name "meme" (a linguistics term) itself puts my back up; it just seems so pretentious. And they're really not all that interesting, in my opinion. Therefore, if I ever get "tagged," I'm just going to ignore it. My blog's boring enough without subjecting you, dear readers, to my boring answers to boring questions.
For the person who has everything (including, possibly, an STD, courtesy of your nasty ass)!
Ahhhh... What inspiring leaders the gay community has! Doesn't it make you proud?
(Via Towleroad; more Paris Pride at PerezHilton.com)
Monday, June 13, 2005
Of course, it's not as if I'm at all desparate or anything. It's not as if all of my self-esteem were bound up in how many people like my blog (and, by extension, me). I mean, how silly would that be?!?!? I'd certainly never buy into so shallow and arbitrary a measure of self-worth. Most certainly not...
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Over the past year, however, I've hardly written anything. I thought it was the stress of a senior year of college, but that's over now and I'm still not writing. Maybe it's my typical laziness, but I've always been lazy and it never hindered me before. I still get ideas (though not as many as in former times), but the ideas never seem to make it down on paper. It's all very odd and I don't know how to correct it. The spark is simply not there; my Muse has packed up and left, no note or anything! Inconsiderate bitch...
Friday, June 10, 2005
Another great new blog I found is Bill In Exile. It's the Web's only epistolary blog between two friends, one of whom is in prison for meth dealing. (To my knowledge, anyway. Maybe there are tons of them I don't know about.) It, too, is a very well-written blog, by turns heartbreaking and funny.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
(Via Maud Newton. Or Bookslut. Or Bookninja. I can't frickin' remember, actually.)
"Let Us Spray!"
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
This photo montage of a Star Wars convention inspires a curious mixture of pity and schadenfreude. You can't help but laugh, but a kind of laughter that makes you sad inside.
How cool! I thought I was going to get boring old Apollo or something. It's so appropriate, too, that I'd get the god of dreams: all I do is sleep! *LOL*
A comic strip about unicellular organisms in a pond? Genius! Very amusing, too.
I'm vaguely obsessed with Toby's new sidebar photo. I know it's probably just a bad photo from his trip to Mexico, but it has a brooding, artistic feel to it, too. It's like he's giving us the outlines of himself, but leaving us to fill in the details. Or something. I don't know, I guess I miss literary interpretation, so I'm grasping at straws!
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
A glory hole, boys and girls, is an opening in a wall (usually that between two bathroom stalls) that allows two nice men, who love each other very much, to engage in anonymous, semi-public oral sex. Some guys really get off on it. I don't think it's really my thing, though. I haven't really found any, however, or had the gumption to go to a place I know has them and try it out, so who knows! I might be a natural.
If you're curious, dear reader, you can go here to find the nearest hole near you. Happy hunting!
Monday, June 06, 2005
Oscar Wilde: The Picture of Dorian Gray. You are a
horror novel from the world of dandies, rich
pretty boys, art and aesthetics, and
intellectual debates between ethical people and
decadent pleasure-seekers. You value beauty and
pleasure but realize their dangers, as well.
Which literature classic are you?
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Saturday, June 04, 2005
Friday, June 03, 2005
- Producing many offspring; prolific.
- Loving one's offspring or children in general.
- Of or relating to love of children.
(Definition from Dictionary.com)
King Edward II
You are a notorious homosexual who squanders
every penny on lavish parties, dancing boys,
new clothes and gifts for your cutest male
friends. The Lords forced you to exile your
boyfriend to France, but you worried he was
having too much of a good time so you called
him home. You've had to fight a couple of
battles, but saddles make you sore and mud is
just sooo hard to get out of velvet!
Your enemies had you locked up in a dark
prison, but just as you were about to start
indulging your boys in prison fantasy with that
hunky warder - they had you assassinated by
shoving a giant red-hot poker up your rectum.
Which old Queen are you?
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