Skimpy Sunday

(Via Vincent Lambert [NSFW]; Bill in Exile [NSFW]; Fleshbot [NSFW]; Unzipped [NSFW])

Treat!

I was never much one for Halloween, but I looked forward every year to a handful of TV specials. Sadly, I haven't seen any of these on TV in years, I think because they all (from what I can recollect) were shown on the Disney Channel and that channel went all to crap a few years ago where they show nothing but tween shows and new cartoons. They no longer show anything older (including the great World of Walt Disney cartoons and old wildlife specials that I grew up with as a kid in the 80s/early 90s) and it pisses me off.

Thanks to the magic of YouTube, however, now we can all enjoy my Halloween nostalgia!

Disney's Halloween Treat

A medley of various Disney "spooky" cartoons hosted by an awesome puppet pumpkin (or the Mirror from Snow White in a slightly edited version of the same thing).



The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (the Disney version)

Just totally classic.



The Worst Witch

Basically, it was Harry Potter, except it was all girls and the hero wasn't The Chosen One, but a klutzy, picked-on girl. It had the oddest casting, with the lady from Facts of Life, Diana Riggs, and Tim Curry singing, and some of the most atrocious "special effects" ever committed to film, but I loved it. Growing up isn't easy!



The Halloween That Almost Wasn't

Silly 70s comedic Halloween with the worst ever Dracula, Werewolf, Mummy, and Frankenstein trying to get the Witch to fly over the moon so there could be a real Halloween. Cheesy beyond belief, but fun.



Bugs Bunny

That wascally wabbit doesn't let a few monsters get in his way. Daffy Duck's Quackbusters is full of more Looney Tunes spooky goodness, too.





Happy Halloween!

P.S. For more Halloween goodness from yesteryear, visit the retrotastic Retrospace. (Be sure to read the posts about the Paul Lynde Halloween special, especially!)

Fruits Of Forbidden Love

I don't know why, but polar bear/brown bear hybrids fascinate me, and I'm not the only one.

Gross, But Cool

In the unlikely event I ever get married, this might be my wedding cake.

Fred Died With His Scarf On

Watch out vampires, zombies, and other beasties, because Scooby's got a new snack: the rotting flesh and bones of his enemies!

The Important Questions

Homer asks THE most pressing question of the moment.

Romulus And Remus

Watch out, geese, the duck legions are on their way!

Skimpy Sunday

(Via Bill in Exile [NSFW]; Nightcharm [NSFW]; Unzipped [NSFW])

Sight For Sore Eyes (Sorry, But You Knew I'd Have To Use It Eventually)

Things may be quite a bit on the blurry side at the moment, but red pandas and wombats are cute no matter your visual acuity.

I'm Alive!

So, despite the Ray Charles look I'm sporting, I haven't gone blind. Hooray! Actually, according to the doctor today, everything is healing excellently. I can definitely see better, if slightly blurrily. It'll be a while before it heals up and settles down, and it'll probably get blurrier in the next few days, but I should hopefully be able to drive soon, and already the light sensitivity is subsiding. Obviously, I can look at the computer, though I'm trying to limit it. All in all, knock on wood, it looks like a success.

My Eyes!

Tomorrow, in celebration of my nativity, I'm going to have laser eye surgery. If all goes well, I should be unconscious most of tomorrow, but I don't know when I'll be able to look at a computer screen, so I may be silent for a bit. It's not like I've been burning up the blog with posts lately, but I didn't want you to all think I'd abandoned you. If I go blind, I'll find some way to inform you all.

Things You Just Don't Want To Hear

Is there anything worse than a parent in a sharing mood? Today, as my mother and I sat in the eye doctor's office, the news was talking about Obama not being such a dick to marijuana users. My mother joked that maybe she could use some of that for the arm she broke a few weeks ago, and then proceeded to ASK ME IF I EVER SMOKED POT! IN THE MIDDLE OF A DOCTOR'S WAITING ROOM!!!1111!!!!ELEVENTY!!! Despite the fact that I've never taken an illegal substance in my boring-ass life -- heck, I've never even been drunk -- and thus had nothing to hide, I was still flabbergasted. But then she proceeded to tell me that she'd tried marijuana once with a bunch of my father's friends (the one part that didn't surprise me, actually; remind you to tell you one day about the fate of my father's groomsmen). Again, IN THE MIDDLE OF A DOCTOR'S OFFICE. My mother. Marijuana use. Apparently, she didn't know you puffed and passed, which she thought was "not very sanitary," it didn't really do much, she just kept talking, and my dad's friends vowed never to smoke with her again. I just didn't need to know this information.

Skimpy Sunday

(Via Unzipped [NSFW]; Fleshbot [NSFW])

Arts and Crap

The world is full of talented and creative people making interesting and unique things. And then there are people making this crap.

(Via Gawker)

I Can Just Smell The Patchouli

Vegetarian spiders: the dirty hippies of the arachnid family.

Skimpy Sunday

(Via Fleshbot [NSFW]; Hot Flash [NSFW]; Unzipped [NSFW])

I Want A Book Castle!

Other uses for the book. (Scroll down a bit for the castle stuff.)

(Via Bookninja)

Hot Font-On-Font Action

Here, this is the difference between Arial and Helvetica.

(Via Bookninja)

Future Con-Goers Of America

The most important step in successfully raising a little nerd of your own is to start them young. Adorable they are! (I don't know about that Chewbacca costume, though. It just looks they have a brown shirt and some furry mukluks on or something.)

Fatal Flaw

There are two reasons why any attempt of mine to eat less or healthier or whatever is doomed to failure: 1) I have the willpower of a meth addict in a warehouse full of Pseudofed, and 2) I get FUCKING HUNGRY! I suppose there's a 3) as well: I like and eat a lot of crap.

Awe-some

For those who travel to work on the Lusitania, a trunk office.

Skimpy Sunday

(Via Unzipped [NSFW]; Queer Porn Nation [NSFW]; Fleshbot [NSFW])

Polar Express

Polar Bear Cub: "Mush! Mush!"

Mother: "*sigh* Yes, dear. *mutter* I used to be more than a cub carrier. I had dreams! Ambitions! But, nooooooooo, I had to get hopped up on walrus blubber one night and let that deadbeat climb on top of me!"

The L Network

If anyone has Logo on their cable and ever watches it, question: could they possibly stuff more The L Word episodes into their line-up? Seriously, every time I turn the channel on, it's either on or coming up within the next hour or two. And when it's not The L Word, it's Queer As Folk (I regret watching every episode of that the first time; I'm not going to watch it again) or the same really, really bad gay movies (like this one about a guy who gets off on being electrocuted or this horrendous RuPaul thing that has the worst audio dubbing ever) over and over again. Get better programming, Logo!

Fashion Disaster

I was watching an iPod Nano commercial and a Macy's ad recently, and it hit me that I think that women's fashions in particular, at this time, are really... unfortunate. The leggings, the Palm Beach Jewish grandmother jewelry, the potato sack blouses: hideous. But then I remember back to my high school years not ten years ago, and there were some unfortunate fashions then, too. I particularly remember these nylon or whatever parachute pants in garish colors with like ribbons coming out of them, as well as these amusingly horrid bowling-type shirts (with flaming skulls!) my straight male friend used to wear. I guess every generation has to have its "OMG, what was I wearing, and how did we think that looked good?!?" moment when busting out the old photo album to show the kids they, too, were once young.

Skimpy Sunday

(Via Vincent Lambert [NSFW]; Unzipped [NSFW]; Fleshbot [NSFW]; Bill in Exile [NSFW])

A Grizzly Decline

The grizzly population of Canada seems to be crashing along with the salmon stocks, but they're going to get hunted anyway. If Canada can't get bear conservation right, what chance does the US have? It's very disheartening.

(BTW, don't you think there should be a Bears for Bears foundation? Get on that, hirsute gay men!)

No, Not The Hatchet Kind!

100 Awesome Bookhacks

(Via Books, Inq.)

Porn Is Bad

I'm a great admirer and user of pornographic films (or, as Mr. Tony Buff [NSFW] calls them, "art films"), but I must admit that sometimes they're not so much a source of pleasure as depression. Seeing impossibly beautiful specimens of male beauty engaging in displays of raw, and even acrobatic, sex makes me feel like even more of a saggy, bloaty dweeb than I already do.

Skimpy Sunday

(Via Roids and Rants [NSFW]; Fleshbot [NSFW]; Unzipped [NSFW]; Jason Curious [NSFW])

Hail To The Chief Nerd

"Take THAT, Republicans! *whoosh* That's right, bitches, the Force is with me!"

I didn't think I could love Obama any more than already, but I was wrong. He makes being a nerd so cool! He's an inspiration to all the little nerdlings out there; finally, they too have a role model!

Fall Approaches

Like the first lines on a celebrated beauty's face, a leaf here and there begins to lose its color amidst the green, signaling the inevitable transition from vibrant summer to melancholy autumn. Technically, it is still summer, but you can feel the change as Nature slips off the vibrant prime of summer for the wise maturity of fall.

As I've said before, autumn is my favorite season, and partly it is because of this. There's something strangely beautiful in decay and melancholy, like scenic ruins from some forgotten kingdom. It's very Romantic. But there's a stateliness, a certain elegance, too. Summer is roaring and rutting, a big belly laugh; Fall is quiet and thoughtful, a secret smile.

"Hit" Me Baby

Does anyone else get annoyed when marketing for a new films or TV show or whatever that isn't even out yet say something along the lines of "the new hit [whatever]" or "XYZ Studios latest hit"? Isn't that a bit presumptuous? Even jinxy? You can't call something a hit when it hasn't even been seen yet!

Kawaii Pugs

Puggies! My Dusty used to do that handstand thing like the one at the end, too. Surprising and amusing behavior from a dog breed not exactly known for their athleticism.

Skimpy Sunday

(Via Towleroad; Unzipped [NSFW])

Isopod Got Your Tongue?

What's even more disturbing than the simple fact that this isopod (a kind of crustacean) has replaced a fish's tongue is the look on its face. "Helloooooooooooo! May I help you? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" *shudder*

Turing Apology

It looks like the campaign calling for the British government to apologize for its treatment of Alan Turing has paid off. A very small bit of justice is done.

(Via Pharyngula)

The Long-Awaited, Lacerating, Witty And Profound Blog Post By A Blogger At The Peak Of His Powers

Publishers lie, lie, lie, lie, lie! Wittgenstein.

(Via Bookninja)

Restar... Rester... Fuck It, One Of Those Place Where You Get Food In Exchange For Money

Everyone seems to have at least one or two words that they just for the life of them can't spell. For me, "restaurant" is that word. I always try to write "resteraunt" or "restaraunt." That damned first "u"!!! Another one is "accommodate." I always write "accomodate" or something like that.

All I can say is thank Buddha for Firefox's built-in spellchecker! And I'm a good speller, too! Honest!

Cool These Are

Dagobah Frog Habitat

Personal A/C Unit

His Superpower Is Making Me Hot

Great Galactus! Someone get me a comic book, because I need to fan myself! I'd like to explore his Batcave! I'd let him unsheathe his adamantium claw in me any time! He could sling some web on me any day, and twice on Sundays! I want to Green Goblin him up! I'd be on him faster than Barry Allen on speed! (What I'm saying is I find him very attractive and wish to have hot, dirty, geeky sex with him.)

Ball is in your court, Sims! You need to win back your title as the Internet's Hottest Comic Book Fan!

(Via Gay Fleshbot [NSFW])

Let's Dance...

...put on your (eight) red shoes, and dance the blues!

(Via Towleroad)

Is That Giant Rat From The New York Subway?

No, it's from New Guinea.

Skimpy Sunday

(Via Unzipped [NSFW]; Vince Lambert [NSFW])

Well, At Least He Won't Have To Worry So Much About Sunscreen In Scotland

An albino otter.

(Via Towleroad)

The Cold Helps Them Keep Set

Arctic Jellyfish

Turing

The treatment of Alan Turing, considered the founder of computer science as we know it and a hero of WWII (he helped crack Enigma) subsequently prosecuted for his homosexuality and forced to take hormone treatments, eventually committing suicide, is a unconscionable blight in Britain's modern history. Sign this petition calling for a public apology from the British government for their treatment of him. It isn't enough, of course, but it's something, and probably the only thing that can be done at this point.

(Via Roids and Rants [NSFW])

Pluck

Every day on my way to work, I pass a big lake that is part of a state park. Unsurprisingly, given the water and the undoubtedly tasty crumbs from park visitors, a colony of Canada geese live there. One of the gaggle is instantly recognizable because he or she has a left wing that doesn't retract all the way. It looks like it broke it at some point and the bones fused. I can't imagine he or she can fly at all, but he or she's been around for at least a year, surviving at least one winter, and looks totally healthy. This makes me happy.

The Craziest Fucking Thing I've Ever Heard

One word: batshit.

It's All Just A Dream

Do you ever feel like you're not real? I'm not talking about the kind of disorientation where you wake up and it takes your brain a few seconds to boot and you have no idea where the hell you are. It's more like you're a character from a really vivid dream. I often get these bizarre episodes where I just feel disassociated from reality. I know where I am and who I am, but I don't feel it. I have my memories, yet I feel detached from them. (And what is identity without memory?) The most bizarre part is that it isn't really unpleasant; it doesn't send me into a panic or a crisis or anything. It's weird as hell, but not traumatic. It doesn't last more than a second or two, anyway. It is a rather interesting phenomenon, though.

There is a notion that in a multiverse, a highly-enough advanced civilization could develop the inclination and the computing power to created multiple, even infinite, universe "simulations," even ones with intelligent life. This life could even be unaware of its own simulated nature, perhaps even get to a point where it starts simulating universe and down and down into the rabbit hole. In fact, the chance of being in a simulated universe is greater than being in a "real" universe. (If this sounds familiar, it is sort of where The Matrix all came from.) Perhaps these feelings of unreality are glitches in the simulation.

Then there's a Gnostic notion that the universe is just a fitful dream of the sleeping God. Maybe I'm God half-waking for a moment!

Skimpy Sunday

(Via Vince Lambert [NSFW]; Roids and Rants [NSFW]; Towleroad [NSFW]; Bill in Exile [NSFW])

CSI: South Georgia Island

"Eureka! A clue! Quick, get some paster of Paris! I'll find this murderer yet!"

Petro-Partnership

With a little help from bacteria, cacti make even sheer rock bloom.

Blogs That Aren't There Anymore (Part I)

One of the strangest, and sometimes saddest, things about blogging for four-and-a-half years now is reminiscing about how many blogs -- good blogs, much better than this bucket of trash -- Bourgeois Nerd has outlasted. One of the big attractions of blogs, for me at least, is the sense of relationship with the writer. When a blog proprietor decides to close up shop, it can be almost hurtful, and even maddening because later on you wonder just what happened to your "friend" that you don't hear from anymore. So let us now mosey down Cyber Alley of Memory Lane, and reminisce about blogs that aren't there anymore...

Thought Not

One of the earliest blogs I read, and probably the first to shut down, was Oliver's pad. Art, Rottweilers, and hottie bears, oh my! He was also my fateful introduction to Scott, for which I don't know whether to thank or curse him. (Just kidding. It's curse, of course.) As a matter of fact, my relationship with Scott makes me miss Oliver's blog all the more, because I feel I know him better through Scott's stories, and because it gives us something in common. Apparently, he's healthy and happy, though mysteriously self-exiled to Provincetown, with the lesbians (I hear; I've never been.).

We, Like Sheep

I miss woofy Eric. Did he get to move to Barcelona? Did he stick with Hebrew? These are questions that torment me in the darkness of the night.

Faggoty-Ass Faggot

Biting wit and moxie from America's Heartland, Ohio. Brian is a journalist, now, and I hope a big success, but I still miss the bitchy musings.

Tony Hayden (The site there now is the successor to the vlog, not the site I'm talking about.)

The internationally renowned vlogger provided several years worth of triumph, heartbreak, and weiner dogs, chronicling everyday life in gay Orlando, but earlier this year he shut down to pursue other creative endeavors. I have to admit, though it makes me feel like a dork, I was really hurt when he closed down. When you're that intimate -- or at least feel that intimate, and video can be much more intimate than even the most confessional writing -- with a person like that (we even got friendly over email), it hurts when they just "move away" or whatever. It feels like abandonment. Plus, no Ruko! No Thomas! No video from the archives! It makes me a Saaaad Panda.

The Pretty Boys Club

This one has a happy ending: Reader, they married! Still, I miss the witty repartee... and the hot boys. But mostly the repartee. (I'm lying.)

To Be Continued...

Bourgeois Book Club

Been on a bit of a nonfiction kick lately, specifically books about math and time and silly stuff like that. I've been very lucky, and all three have been absolutely excellent, so I thought I'd share, in case anyone is in the market for frivolous fare.

Infinite Ascent: A Short History of Mathematics
by David Berlinski

Really more a sketch than even a true short history, it can be occasionally a bit heavy-going for the math-phobic, and it can lose you if you haven't even thought of algebra or geometry since ninth grade, but a still enjoyable and quick read. The author is also a novelist, and it does show, in a good way. I don't agree with some of his interpretations of history (like I'm some sort of expert), and the fact that he's a creationist is appalling to me, but it really doesn't and shouldn't take away from the book. The cover is one of my absolute favorite of any book I've ever seen. It's simply spectacular: crisp, clean, and evocative.

In Search of Time by Dan Falk

A wide-ranging look at that most mysterious of dimensions from the point of view of myth, physics, philosophy, psychology, and more from one of the best science writers around. (Falks's previous book, The Universe on a T-Shirt, is a highly recommended favorite of mine.) The only real annoyance is the layout. Whoever laid this book out, and the person who signed off on it before sending it to the printer even more so, should be fired. It's not even just nitpicky stuff from a nerd who has done some layout, there are serious problems, including one-word lines force justified across the page, bad spacing, footnotes on the wrong pages, and evenfootnotes that cut off in midsentence. Really a travesty. Hopefully these issues will be corrected by the paperback edition, though.

Is God A Mathematician? by Mario Livio

Another hit-and-run survey of the history of mathematics (though more thorough and far-ranging than Berlinski's), don't let the title fool you: this isn't a religious polemic or apologia. It's much more about the struggles with the meaning of mathematics and the question of the origins of mathematics and its "unreasonable effectiveness" (basically it comes down to whether math is something intrinsic in the universe that we discover or whether its something we create somehow). Clear, lucid, and witty, it's an enjoyable ride without a lot of actual math. The blue of the cover, by the way, is really beautiful and inviting, even strangely soothing. Kudos to the cover designer who picked it! Also, the paper has this oatmealy smell to it that's really nice. (But, then, you know all about my fetish for book smells.)

Just Stick The Ethernet Cable Directly Into A Vein

For about about ninety minutes this evening, I didn't have the Internet. I proceeded to FREAK THE FUCK OUT (though quietly), until it started working again. I was about ten minutes away from standing on a street corner offering to suck dick for some Internet time, while frantically scratching phantom itches. I'm not an addict, though! No, not at all. I can stop any time I want!

Sidebar Updates

First, we welcome back Bread and Circuses for all of our Roman history and archaeology needs.

And then we welcome Urban Pug, which is something like a candy store to a diabetic if you're a cute addict and pug admirer (I miss my Dusty!) like me. But who can resist those squishy faces?!? Squeeeeeeee!

Last but totally not least is Movieline, the best Hollywood website around, where I've become something of a star commenter (in my own mind).

Video Roundup

Over the summer, through those serendipitous byways that seem to sprout when one is just casually wandering about cyberspace, I've come across Internet genius that I must share.

First is NYC man about town, Mr. Mike Diamond. If there's a gay event in town, or anywhere really, here's there to document and interview, stainless steel balls swinging all over the place.

Next is the fresh and fabulous, the divine and delicious Mz. Hedda Lettuce, truly one of our nation's drag treasures.

Then there is the delicate and demure Varla Jean Merman, another American drag treasure.

Finally, in a far different corner of the Internet, Wogoat's flash movies are a comic nerd's delight!

You'd Think Us Gays Were Obsessed With Abs Or Something!

Rod and Joe point out that bellies are in! Hooray! That means I'm "in"! The line forms here boys!

I'm Not Alone

It's not just me that finds the Palm Pre girl freaky! Phew!

For Proofreaders

Lesser-known, but potentially useful, editing and proofreading marks.

What's A Good Birthday Present For A Ninja?

Happy 6th Birthday to Bookninja!

Prescription Strength My Ass

Winter, spring, summer, or fall, I tend to sweat a lot. And gel, solid, or 24-hour, no antiperspirant works. Oh, the deodorant part works fine, but actually stopping wetness? Minimal effectiveness. And that "prescription strength" stuff? Well, I've been using it for a few weeks now, and I swear it's no better than the regular stuff. As a matter of fact, it might be worse. It's all very, very annoying, and quite embarrassing.

Maybe I need to go get Botox to my armpits. That's a thing, you know. Botulism is so useful.

Historical...ish

Mel Gibson "wins" at making "history," though the Times left out a lot of "deserving" films.

(Via The Little Professor)

Skimpy Sunday

(Via Unzipped [NSFW]; Roids and Rants [NSFW]; Bill in Exile [NSFW]; Socialite Life)

"It is a bookstore, not the inside of The Tardis"

Book stores from a bookseller's perspective: A Year In Books.

(Via Bookninja)

What Globalization Hath Wrought

It's a crazy commodity world with cacti in Morocco for cosmetics and quartz in North Carolina for computers.

Forget Slingshots...

...this Ewok could defeat the Empire through the sheer power of cuuuuuute!

Those Naughty Brits

The British Library is a silent pressure cooker of sex! Really, though, isn't just about every enclosed space frequented by mostly adults a secret den of sex? We're just horny animals, after all.

(Via Bookninja)

Skimpy Sunday

(Via Unzipped [NSFW]; Roids and Rants [NSFW]; Vince Lambert [NSFW])