Just Stick The Ethernet Cable Directly Into A Vein

For about about ninety minutes this evening, I didn't have the Internet. I proceeded to FREAK THE FUCK OUT (though quietly), until it started working again. I was about ten minutes away from standing on a street corner offering to suck dick for some Internet time, while frantically scratching phantom itches. I'm not an addict, though! No, not at all. I can stop any time I want!