The Oddness of Google

As you all probably know, I'm an obsessive Site Meter checker. Thus, I was perplexed as to why I was I was getting so many hits from Google Image like this. Finally, I found out: the first picture that comes up when one searches for images of Ms. LaRue links to this post from September '05. Mystery solved. It's still kinda odd, though, because I only linked to the picture in that post; I didn't actually post it, so why would it be first in the results? I would think sites with the actual pictures would have precedence over sites that just link to the pictures in the Google algorithim. *shrug* What do I know, though; I'm just an English major!

Anyway, if you ever Google yourself, Ms. LaRue, and find your way here, I just want to say that I adore you! I haven't actually seen most of your work (it's way too pricey for an income-less boy like me), but I read or watch all the interviews with you I come across and I have your biography and everything. I just think you're fabulous and I hope I can be half the fabulous, brassy, ballsy, astute person you are when I'm "all growed up."

Oh, and can you hook me up with Zak Spears? He's the daddy of my dreams!

Stellar Singles

Wanted: S4S
Low-mass star seeking main-sequence
type for gravitational interaction.
Likes: Long rotations around the galactic center,
nuclear fusion, and fine dining.
Dislikes: Black holes, pulsars, and flakes.
Open to binaries and globulars. Must love planets.

Pop Quizzes

You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 80% Superman 65% Green Lantern 60% Catwoman 55% Robin 40% Supergirl 40% Batman 40% Hulk 30% Wonder Woman 25% The Flash 20% Iron Man 10%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

You Are Sunshine

Soothing and calm. You are often held up by others as the ideal. But too much of you, and they'll get burned You are best known for your warmth Your dominant state: connecting

What Type of Weather Are You?

(BTW, the weather quiz has an absolutely howling error in the first question. It should be "compliment," not "complement"!)

You Were a Skunk

You carry yourself with sensuality and a flowing energy. You have a great reputation, and you follow your own (good) advice.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

(Via Writing It Slant)

Hypothetical

Okay, so let's say you start reading this blog that you really like, so you email the blogger and strike up a correspondence. And let's say you've sort of got a digital, cross-country crush on said blogger, though you know he's not in the least attracted to you because the one thing that he said upon seeing your picture was "You look just like my brother." And let's also say that this blogger is like totally cool and has been there and done everything (and everybody) and, while you don't exactly want to be just like him since you're a totally different kind of person, you still like vicariously living through him. And let's say that, while not exactly seeing him as a father-figure, you do think of him as an aloof, distant mentor who you're desperate to gain the attention and approval of.

Now, let's say that his correspondence-volume has decreased in the last few months, to the point that he only seems to answer every other email. And let's say that, due to the wonders of Site Meter, you know that he doesn't read your blog, either. And let's say that all this makes you anxious that he doesn't really like you and is trying to tactfully hint that he just wants you to go away.

So, saying all of this, should you take the hint and accept your exile from his inbox, or should you email him voicing your feelings and concerns, or should you just ignore it and email him as usual?

We Need A Little... Stimulation Around Here

(Via The Pretty Boys Club; Roids and Rants)

Who Am I?

I'm a Mercedes SLK!

You appreciate the finer things in life. You have a split personality - wild or conservative, depending on your mood. Wherever you go, you like to travel first class. Luxury, style, and fun - who could ask for more?

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Not that happy about the Clinton result. I'm no Republican or anything, but Clinton just always... irritated me. He's just so unctuous and ubsequious. I don't, then, like to think that I'm anything like that. But it's just a stupid Internet personality test, so I won't stress about it.

Too Much Information

Some people sing in the shower. I sing as I pee. I've been doing it for a long time now, but it really only just hit me that I was doing it. Weird, huh?

Pardon Our Appearance

I decided to tweak my sidebar links (that's one thing I know how to do). However, my amazing coding skills don't stretch enough to let me know why the last two link sections are all small and squished, so you'll just have to wait until me and my guru can get our heads together and get on with the blog refit to get that sorted out.

Continue to feel free to regale me with blog-refurbishing suggestions and pardon the mess!

Let's Play A Game

Monopoly? No. Parcheezi? No (I never actually played it, you know). Charades? No. Cowboy or Gay Porn Star? That's the ticket!

(Via Towleroad)

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Still open to suggestions on how to improve the blog. Just drop me a comment!

Speaking of which, I'm kinda considering changing my blogspot address. "vulpes82" just isn't intuitive, you know what I mean? But I don't want to mess up everyone's bookmarks and links and I'm unsure if they would get redirected. Anyone have any insight or advice?

High-Tech

Here's a one-handed reading device. My verdict: "Eeh." I don't like to crack the bindings that much, so I wouldn't use it. Plus, for me, driving and reading are the same: you have to keep both hands on the wheel!

(Via Bookslut)

Dude, You Totally Just Blew My Mind!

What do Presbyterians and Britney Spears have in common? Letters.

(Via Pharyngula)

Ve Are Nut Groompy!

An American professor claims that umlauts make Germans grumpy. Balderdash, I say! I don't claim to be an expert, but I've met a handful of Germans in my life and none of them were "humourless or grumpy." Plus, in my years of German language study, umlauts were always my favorite part of pronunciation! So, I say again, balderdash!

(Via Bookninja)

A Whine

I try to be clever when I title my posts, but sometimes it just doesn't happen. Even a latter-day Oscar Wilde such as myself can't always be clever. I mean, it's hard to be the epitome of wit and sophistication 24/7/365. And, sometimes, a post is just a post. So, if not all of my post titles are awesome, forgive me.

Even *I* Think This Is Taking Nerdiness Too Far!

This man is suing the dictionary! I don't know if that's such a good idea, mister; those lexicographers are a tough bunch. You might just wake up with a blood-covered thesaurus next to you! The dictionary mod don't mess around!

Speaking of nerdiness: well-spotted, Gawker!

Horror!

Four hundred kilometers from the nearest book?!? No wonder Australians are crazy! I know I'd be driven mad if I were that far away from a bookstore and/or library.

(Via Bookninja)

On The Off Chance I Actually Have Any Heterosexual Male Readers...

Here are some things to know about the ladies.

Is It A Bird? Is It A Plane? No, It's... A Dog!

Now this dog is a good boy! He gets flung about weightless and doesn't even bark!

Freaky/Cool!

An hour or so ago, not only was it thundering and lightening, but it was snowing, too! I've read about snow thunderstorms, but I never actually saw it until now. Assuming it isn't a portent of doom, it's totally awesome!

"Wait Till You See My *Oh!*"

You know "Wait (The Whisper Song)" by the Ying Yang Twins? Well, despite the fact that it's been out for like a year now, I (always on the cutting edge) only recently really paid attention to the lyrics. Thus, I just noticing one rather... interesting line. Ying (or Yang; does it even matter?) says at one point in the song, which is all about trying to get in some girl's pants, "Imma beat dat pussy up."

Now, ladies, if a guy came up to you and told you, "Imma beat dat pussy up," would you be like "Oh, yeah, baby!" or would you be like "Get the hell away from me you freak!"? Am I wrong in thinking it'd be more the latter than the former? 'Cause if not, you bitches is straight-up nasty!

A Post (Sorry, But I Can't Think Of A Better Title)

Cleaning out the fridge can make for suprisingly interesting reading.

America's 50 Most Loathsome People and Geraldo's only #50? A travesty!

(Via Bookslut)

Booking

A site dedicated to book cover design.

A fellow out and proud book nerd!

How books are bound!

(Via Bookninja)

Huh?

I just don't get it. (Scroll down to the bottom two pictures.) I mean, y'all know I'm all about the jockstraps, but that? Confuddling.

A Moment Of Seriousness

The ability of the human mind to exist in a state of cognitive dissonance and denial is truly staggering.

(Via Cosmic Variance comments)

Well, It Looks Like My Dream Of Being A Dancing Comedian Are Shot

Your Career Type: Conventional

You are orderly and good at following a set plan. Your talents lie in working with written records and numbers in a systematic, orderly way. You would make an excellent: Bank Teller - Bookkeeper - Court Clerk Mail Carrier - Post Office Clerk - Secretary Timekeeper - Title Examiner - Typist The worst career options for your are artistic careers, like comedian or dancer.

What's Your Ideal Career?

(Via professorial confessions)

Hail, Caesar!

If this is what some gladiators actually wore, then we were gipped by Ridley Scott.

Really, It Was Inevitable

After all the jokes, Bareback Mountain is actually coming to a Friendly Neighborhood Porn Shop/Convenient, Anonymous Online Porn Store near you.

I feel like I should have a clever, pornified rip-off of the fast-becoming-classic "I wish I knew how to quit you!" line, but my normally sewer-like mind is drawing a blank. Anyone have a suggestion?

Battlestar Erectica

Wow, who knew the Cylons' plan involved dubious herbal remedies! Perhaps they're also behind Pheretones. Crafty.

If Only I Drank!

A bar made out of textbooks. Brilliant!

(Via Maud Newton)

Revelations

God's a micromanager with anger issues.

(Via Maud Newton)

Blogger Bonus

Someday, in my dreams, I'll be a published author. It'll probably be in the sci-fi/fantasy realm, since that's my favorite genre (and I'm just a big-ass geek). I've never had problems coming up with the funny (strange) names requisite in sci-fi/fantasy literature, since my imagination's good like that, but for those who want to write sci-fi/fantasy and don't have the same flair for making words up (we can't all be Tolkein), or just want a way to introduce some variety (i.e. something other than the popular faux-Latinate), I have something for you: the Blogger word verification letter-strings!

Most of the time, the random strings of letters make no sense, but even that can be a bonus if one wishes to create more alien sounding words. Some of the ones I've personally jotted down include "gaerne," "ejatix," "hkeai," "sorgs," "zacrd," "sstrha," "rgisi," "txepo," "mokwup," "aphle," "nfulu," "quuet," "gimmcean," "virot," and "oywyd." Try it and see for yourself.

(See, Vince, word verification isn't evil!)

Peeve

Know what I hate? When you write what you think is this really thoughtful or funny or insightful comment or message board message and then go back later to see what incredible conversation you've started only to find that no one cared. That's really a blow to the old ego; there are only so many times you can say to yourself, "Well, it was so great no one can think of anything to add!" It's depressing. (As you should have figured out by now, I need constant validation and ego-stroking.)

A Flash of Brilliance

Know what would be really cool? Customizable candy. Say you're like me and you love Starbursts. Well, I love the orange, strawberry, and cherry, but am really not that keen on the lemon. Wouldn't it be great to be able to buy a bag that didn't have the lemon??? Mars Incorporated, get to it!

A Masterpiece Of The Consumerist Age?

How Do We Show More Ass? How Do We Show More Cock? How Do We Make It Sell?

(Via Towleroad)

Blog Reading Methodologies

When I find a blog that looks interesting, I go back into the archives (sometimes all the way back) and start reading from there. I find it the best way to understand the blog as a whole. It also makes it easier to read the later stuff, because you know what the heck the author is talking about when they reference previous posts or past events chronicled in previous posts.

I'm just curious, though, if this is an unusual practice or not. Do others do this? Or do you just pick up the blog where you "found" it?

Tell Me...

Why can't I find a proofreading job, again?

Is It Just Me And My Dirty, Dirty Mind?

There's this exhibit called "Lost in Books." Just the kind of thing I'd go for, right? Well, yeah, except that the opening kinda makes the tower look like a vagina to me. And, you know me, I'm not really about the vagina.

(Via Books, Inq.)

Feedback

Okay, Bourgeois Nerd's a year old, now. I'm pretty proud of this silly little blog; it's fun for me and seems to give, at least some of you, some sort of pleasure. But, being the good blogger that I am, I'm always up for improvement.

So, dear readers, what suggestions do you have? What would you like to see more of/less of? Are there topics you think I simply must tackle in that special nerdy way of mine? Also, I'm thinking of tweaking the template slightly (depending on the availability/laziness of my expert), so ideas about that are also welcome.

I'm not saying I'll necessarily take any of your advice or put your suggestions into practice, of course. This is an authoritarian regime, after all. Still, I consider myself a benevolent dictator, so feel free to suggest and critique!

I'm One Sad Individual

Why am I a sad individual? Because I soooooo totally would have gone to this yard sale if I lived in LA!

(Via Defamer)

Jersey Pride

New Jersey's new advertising motto is "New Jersey: Come See For Yourself." The response of Conan, Jon Stewart, et alia to this has been jokes about smelling bad and stuff. How original!

As a native New Jerseyite, I don't appreciate the New Jersey bashing. I'm not saying we're the greatest in the world or anything, but we really aren't such a bad state: we've got the best tomatoes and peaches and corn, beautiful beaches, and more diners than you can shake a stick at! And those are just a few of the nice things about the old Garden State.

Plus, a lot of the "New Jersey" stereotypes (such as industrial blight, toxic waste, and mobsters) are really only applicable to North Jersey, and only certain sections of that. Yet the whole state gets brushed with the same pigment of scorn and condescension. Well, I'm sick of it! Go pick on some other state, people!

Science Sunday

The Norwegian government will create a failsafe seed bank of the world's crops.

Getting up is dangerous. Go back to bed!

Ants have to go through the hell of high school, too, apparently.

Well, they're not flying, but they are fluorescing.

Is warp/hyper drive nigh?

Gay Stuff

It's nice to see Logo - the sanitized, non-sexual, straight-friendly gay network - is so wholesome. (Confession: I've been watching Logo a little. I know, I know, I'm just a hypocrite, but some of their stuff is cool.)

Gaydar is real, y'all! Wonder who I see about getting mine upgraded ('cause the system I have now has to be the crappiest gaydar ever).

There's Just No Quitting It, I Guess

Okay, maybe this is my favorite Brokeback mock poster. I don't think the comparison is very apt, though: Bert and Ernie's love has been far from tragic. I mean, gosh, they've been openly living together for like thirty years now!

(Via Towleroad)

Talk About A Couch Potato

The mummified body of a woman who died 2 1/2 years ago has finally been discovered in front of her TV.

(Via Bookninja)

From Fab To Flab

Just the other week, I saw the Kurt Russell sci-fi film