A Word For Everything And Everything With A Word

All languages supposedly have hard-or-impossible-to-translate words and phrases, bits of vocabulary for very specific, even over-specific, things that other culturo-linguistic groups simply don't possess. The Meaning of Tingo: And Other Extraordinary Words from Around the World is another in a long line of such books about weird words from around the world. In it, the Germans once again show themselves to be the masters of weird and wonderful language, with such words as "Putzfimmel" (mania for cleaning) and "Kummerspeck" (weight gain due to emotionally-driven overeating).

However, Lanugage Log and Languagehat, guys with a lot more linguistic expertise than I have, advise to take the information in books of "untranslatable" words with a grain of salt. Apparently, they're not always that accurate.

I Really Am Easily Amused...

Apparently, the current issue of Maxim has some feature or other "decoding" women's magazines. (I'm going to have trust Gawker on the accuracy of this intelligence; I'm not exactly a "lad mag" afficianado. Unless you count Men or Inches... *LOL*)

One of the "translated" terms is absolute genius! Or at least I think it is. "Menage a moi" is another way of saying masturbation! Despite my avowed hatred of all things French, that phrase just tickles me. (No, not there, you dirty-minded readers! I'm talking about an intellectual tickle. Get your minds out of the gutter!). Isn't it great?

Land Of The Free And The Home Of The Murderous

Apparently, those godless furners are on to something. (And here are some graphs and charts to illustrate.) But don't get too riled up, anti-Americans: there may be some problems with the study.

Personally, I'm not sure it actually tells us anything except that the U.S. isn't as great as it wants to believe it is, that the religious don't always act very religiously, and that the "godless" can be much better Christians than some who claim that moniker. Not terribly shocking conclusions, overall.

(Via Phayrngula)

Words Fail

He-Man channels Cher while performing the 4 Non-Blondes.

(Via Gawker)

This One's For Cephalogenic

Here, my friend Pyramus, you'll get a kick out of this ad.

Naughty Bookworms

The British Library is a hotbed of hierarchy, elitism, and steamy gay sex. In a word, my kind of place!

(Via Maud Newton)

Russian Literary Crisis

In Mother Russia, Tolstoy and Pushkin are out; potboilers and "Bridget Joneskaya" are in. Of course, there is much gnashing of teeth, but, judging by the article, the gnashing isn't as unfounded and hysterical as it usually is in the West. Russian publishing really isn't doing well at all.

(Via Bookninja)

Sex Lives Of Animals

Not a subject that comes up everyday, does it? Well, it seems male squid inseminate themselves a lot. They may even inseminate each other. And they're really hung, too, with a penis akin to a "high-pressure firehose." Lucky female squid!

And cows are, apparently, raging lesbians!

(Via Pharyngula)

Well, at least their relationship wasn't all for naught. Roy and Silo's adoptive daughter, Tango, is now happily partnered... with another female penguin! Who knew the lives of penguins were so soap opera-y??? Luckily, some kind citizen has created a handy flowchart to help keep everything straight (so to speak).

Advertising Feuilletons

I don't know why, exactly, but the idea of a parade of advertising icons is vaguely disturbing to me.

The guy behind that Tiny House reality spoof Geico ad speaks. He's pretty funny, actually.

(Via Gawker)

Legislative and Judicial Branches Now As F'd Up As The Executive

Final and unequivocal proof that the Democratic Party is insane: the Virginia party is reportedly trying to get Ben Affleck to run for the Senate. Ben fucking Affleck! No wonder the Republicans are in charge.

In other mind-liquifying news, the Supreme Court is going to weigh in on Anna Nicole Smith's golddigging case. I think those old geezer male justices just want a crack at Miss Anna; she's already proven she has a thing for powerful older men, after all!

I suggest we begin preparations for the Apocalypse immediately. The presence of both Affleck and Smith in Washington D.C. is sure to cause a tear in the spacetime continuum connecting our world to a hell dimension populated by cruel, fiendish organisms bent on the destruction of Mozart, puppies, and all that is good in this world.

(Via Defamer)

Geeks United!

Joss Whedon and Neil Gaiman come together to fight crime and battle injustice! Or they just talk on the phone with a Time Magazine writer as moderator. But the former sounds much cooler, no?

(Via Bookslut)

Oh, DEAR!

(Note: The title of this post is best spoken, either out loud or internally, in a very snobby British accent. It's just funnier that way. Of course, it's not that funny since I have to explain it. In fact, I practically have to force you to say it that way. Therefore, it is not, in fact, funny at all, really. But you will do as ordered, damnit!!!!!)

This marriage is bound to last. *sigh* And us gays can't get married why, exactly?

From This Seed, A Mighty Oak May Sprout

Scientists are so cute when they get excited!

But I must admit, as a layman science geek I too am rather excited to see Seed, which I enjoyed the first issue of and then steadily lost interest in, reemerge (apparently) better than before. I'll have to wait and get a copy for myself, though, before forming a definite opinion. Signs look very encouraging, though.

Wisdom Can Be Found Anywhere

Mike Stabile of Gay Porn Blog sagely writes in a recent post:

It's funny, in real life I have no desire to go straight -- not only do [I] find it a losing proposition, but I prefer someone who knows their way around -- but on a video it's so painfully awkward as to be hot. Maybe that's what anti-porno peeps don't get -- it's just fantasy. The best thing about porn, perhaps, is that it's not real life.

All in all, I agree with Mike: most fantasies are better off fantasies. I have a lot of very hot fantasies that, as real life, I know would totally not be hot. But as fantasies, they're great.

Zadie, Zadie, Zadie!

A few weeks ago, I noted a now-slightly-infamous interview with the novelist Zadie Smith. Based on that interview, and only that interview (which I noted at the time), I said I thought she sounded like a "raging asshole."

After watching her interview this evening with Charlie Rose, however, I feel compelled to admit that I seem to have been wrong; she doesn't seem to be an asshole at all (or, at least, her moments of assholery are no more frequent than those of anyone else). She was very articulate, self-deprecating, and charming during the interview. It seems Ms. Annie Reid of Maud Newton Blog was right and Ms. Smith is a shy person and a "candid and honest and interesting" interviewee.

All that said, I must take issue with the opinion of the Beatrice guest editor that "she has great clothes." Uhmmm... whatever, Beatrice Guest Editor.

Ivy League Homophobia

Harvard purged, harassed, and ruined the lives of gay students in the 1920s. Guess that means there wasn't a GSA, then...

Seriously, I'm very, very thankful I live in the era I live in. It's certainly no homosexual utopia, and I hardly lead a very "gay lifestyle," but at least I can be who I am much more easily now than I could have in earlier epochs.

Is The Pope Catholic?

Recent Catholic Church news: academic Inquisitions and the banning of gays from entering the priesthood. Good job so far, Pope Benedict! Nice to see some good old Teutonic efficiency at work in the Church.

(Via Little Professor; Towleroad)

For The Man Who Has Everything

This really is cool: a watch with a Geiger counter built in! It even sounds an alarm when you've taken too high a dose of radiation. It's really pretty, too, sleek and futuristic.

I couldn't have one, though. First, I just can't wear wristwatches; I just don't like how they feel. Second, I'd get all paranoid and keep checking the radiation levels and freaking out. Still, as I said, a very pretty bit of functional adornment.

(Via The Quantum Pontiff)

Men Are Pigs!

Joe. My. God. recounts the heartwarming tale of a cheating nitwit and his suspicious West Coast girlfriend. The girlfriend, BTW, is just as much of a nitwit as the guy. If she's that convinced he's cheating, why marry him? And the stalkerish Internet surveillance really doesn't reflect well on her character, either.

Ewwww!

Scientists have used marine "lice" (actually a sort of crab) to study whale genetic history. It's a fascinating and ingenious way to study cetacean evolutionary history, but the pictures of the whale lice are just... gross!

What? Who? Huh?

Now I've seen everything: a Da Vinci Code diet based on the Golden Mean. I honestly don't know what to say to this, except that I'm sure it'll be a hit, because people are really, really stupid.

(Via Bookninja)

Turn The Crank

The excerpt below basically says what I said about science and certainty a few days ago, but much more eloquently. Read the whole post, though, because it's very good and has more to say about cranks, specifically the similarities between Intelligent Design advocates and Holocaust revisionists.

Cranks tend to crave certainty, and, usually unintentionally, they often misinterpret weaknesses in current theory as fatal flaws that completely negate the theory. To them, if every hole isn't filled in, if every doubt isn't addressed, if every detail isn't understood, then theory must be invalidated, and, by implication, theirs must be a reasonable alternative. Science doesn't work that way, though, nor does history. For such disciplines, there will always be areas we do not understand in as much detail as we would like, and there will always be areas that current understanding doesn't adequately explain. However, these areas must be examined in light of what we do understand. For example, for evolution we understand a lot. There is an enormous amount of observational and experimental evidence from many disciplines that support current theory.

Unfortunately, science will always be susceptible to this sort of attack, at least in the eyes of nonscientists, because it is the very nature of science that no theory is ever final. Although to become elevated to the level of a "theory," a set of scientific postulates must have an enormouse amount of evidence supporting them, making them the best current understanding of a natural phenomenon that we have, no theory is ever considered to be the final word; every theory is subject to revision (most common) or replacement with a better theory (much less common) when new evidence and experimental results warrant it. To me and most scientists, science would be a boring and unrewarding field indeed if it were otherwise, because we would have very little to study. Much of the excitement of doing science comes from the possibility of discovering something new and unexpected that adds to our understanding of nature. Indeed, contrary to what cranks seem to think, the greatest glory in science is not confirming current theory but modifying it or even overturning it for something new. Unlike scientists, however, cranks don't understand that only pointing out and exaggerating the flaws in current theory is enough. They conveniently forget the part about having to produce strong evidence that supports their ideas, evidence strong enough to convince the vast majority of scientists.

(Via The Tangled Bank # 37)

Ye Olde Englishe Computere Jargone

Haven't we all occasionally asked ourselves, "Could Beowulf have handled modern computer technology?" At last, an answer appears! Using this, he just might have coped. Yet another of life's mysteries solved!

(Via The Bitter Scroll)

Intelligent Design

Of course! It' all makes sense now: the world was created by committee! The platypus and appendix and other oddities of the natural world finally have a reason for their oddity.

(Via Pharyngula)

Healthy

Unsurprisingly, but welcomely, Monday's doctor's appointment basically established that my mom worries too much. Now, I still got a blood test, but the chance of diabetes is very, very small, in my doctor's opinion.

Frankly, he said, most diabetics he sees have a crash in weight before they start treatment, not an increase, plus blurry vision and an insane need to drink and pee. Now, I drink and pee a lot, but I've ALWAYS drunk and peed a lot. My eyes are fine. And, objectively, I haven't really gained all that much weight over the past year (like 12 pounds). Also, I'm at an in-between age where I'm too old for juvenile diabetes and too young for adult diabetes (though it's not impossible for a person my age to have the adult). The big stomach is just a function of the fact that men just tend to put on weight in their abdomen, like women on their hips. The doc believes it the kind of deal where just looks like you've gained a lot, but you really haven't. You know, you go over a "tipping point" where just a little more weight suddenly makes you look huge.

He also thinks my Paxil may have something to do with it. We're going to try and wean me off of it and see what happens. I've been on it for like six years now, so it's probably time. If the depression comes back, he said he'd put me on some stuff that came out after I started Paxil that is gentler and has fewer side-effects.

I suspected my mother's fears were unfounded, but it's still a relief to know I was right. We'll see what the blood test says just to be sure, but I'm really not worried.

This Is Something With Which I Can No Longer Put Up!

The New Yorker website is, apparently, written by 19th century schoolmarms. People, this has to stop! English is not Latin, never was Latin, and never will be Latin! We can end sentences in prepositions and split infinitives to our heart's content and still be grammatically correct.

(Apologies to the ghost of Winston Churchill for the paraphrase in this entry's title.)

(Via Languagehat)

Fess Up

Theoretical straight guy readers: what are your not-so-straight (aka soooo-"gay") characteristics?

For myself, I have a number of un-gay (aka "straight") characteristics, including little personal fashion sense (though I tend to know what looks good on other people), a nonexistent green thumb, and a dislike of techno music and showtunes.

(Via Quid nomen illius?)

Deny, Deny, Deny!

Quote of the day: "‘I’m not even gay. I’m just bored.’" Yes, Mr. Closetedman, keep telling that to yourself as you get rimmed out by a trucker.

Blessed Are The Peacemakers

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can. War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace. You are a good mediator and a true negotiator. Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy. While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental. You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take. On the flip side, you've got a great sense of humor and wit. You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Genius!

Every year, the MacArthur Foundation gives a bunch of no-strings-attached money to people from various fields. These fellowships are usually called the "genius grants" because, well, the people that get them are geniuses (or at least are supposed to be). This year's list includes Dr. Terry Belanger, founder of the Rare Book School and all-around book nerd. Congratulations, Dr. Belanger! We fellow bookworms salute you!

On a more shallow note, take a gander at Fazal Sheikh. So, so pretty...

(Via Bookslut)

But No Self-Respecting Drag Queen Would Go Out Like THAT!

Maybe I'm nuts ("Maybe?"), but Doris Roberts looks uncannily like a drag queen in this Emmy picture (scroll down). More specifically, she looks like this drag queen, the indomitable porn directrix Chi Chi LaRue. Ms. Roberts totally doesn't come out ahead in the comparison. But then it is hard to come out ahead in comparison to a fabulous drag queen, even at the best of times.

BTW, Ms. LaRue, if you ever see this (and I seem to be at the top of the Google Image Search results for "Chi Chi LaRue," so you just might), I just want you to know that I love you! I've read your book and everything, and totally think you should do Volume II covering your life and work since then.

(Via Gawker)

Update: I've now met her, and she's even more fabulous in the flesh!

I Just Don't Get Modern Art

Nothing more to say, really.

(Via Towleroad)

Well Get My Smelling Salts!

*gasp* Scientists are human! Thus, "they are completely thoughtless and inconsistent" in their use of such words as "theory," "hypothesis," "model," etc. Even so, at some point, some things, such as evolution or gravitation or whatever, are just true, even if no one can ever be 100% certain of them. It doesn't mean that science is wrong, just that many people have an unreasonable need for a kind of certainty that just doesn't exist. Unfortunately, when science doesn't satisfactorily sate that need, they go kinda nuts and start talking about "Intelligent Design" and crap.

For Authors

Recipes for successful books. It's more complicated than "just add ink," you know.

The Blurb-O-Matic provides instant praise for any occasion! For instance, this blog is not just a bit of stuff and nonsense, but "An expansive jaunt of love, hope, and despair that will leave you gasping!"

(Via Maud Newton)

Say It Ain't So!

Remember that gay penguin couple in Central Park Zoo? It got a lot of media attention; it was even on The Daily Show. Well, sad news. After six years and an adopted chick, Roy and Silo have split up. And Silo's shacked up with a female! The horror! Poor Roy's been left all alone in the world.

Kidding aside, I think the columnist has it right that penguins really can't be used for human political purposes. They're penguins. Silo hasn't "converted" or gone "ex-gay," he's just moved on to a relationship with a female. No need to translate it into some sort of moral victory/defeat for humans. We have to figure out our sexualities for ourselves; the animals dont' care, they just do what they do. The female penguin is still a homewrecking hussy, though!

(Via Towleroad and Thought Not)

Blast From The Past

I just saw the original Black Power Ranger (who looks a lot like Wayne Brady nowadays) on a PetSmart commercial. I don't really know what to feel. Pity? Shadenfreude? Nostalgia? Old age creeping up on me? I just don't know!

Cat Love

Nothing wrong with some interspecies lovin', baby! You know what they say: once you go tiger, you can't go no higher!

(Via Scribal Terror)

Thanks, Mom!

So two nights ago my mother tells me, "I don't want to worry you, but I think you might have diabetes." She said that the disproportinate size of my stomach and my father's family's history of diabetes has her concerned.

Does the woman not know me? How can I NOT worry about it now? I might not be a hypochondriac, but I could probably play one on TV. Visions of test strips and diets and insulin shots dance through my head. I hate those B.B. King commercials!

I'm going to the doctor on Monday and see what's what. Hopefully, nothing is wrong.

Brawl, Britannia!

If only I had been there to see "two very arrogant men who both have very flawed arguments" debate Iraq! In British accents, no less! It sounds like a rip-roaring time was had by all.

BTW, does Christopher Hitchens have to look like a hobo? I mean, I know he likes the booze, but his trusty valet (what, don't all British guys have one?) should be shot for letting him out of the house like a bum off the cattle train to Hoboken!

(Via Gawker)

Here, Here!

Be a dear, love, and give old Aggie the respect she deserves! Now, I'll just put the kettle on and make us a nice cup of tea.

(Via Bookslut)

Yo, You!

Gawker's right and the AP hit it right on the head: it's "the lack of the second-person singular" that makes the young 'uns not go in for newspaper reading.

The Height Of My Caring Is Staggering

Britney and Kevin have offically spawned. Their bouncing baby piece of white trash is named Preston Michael Spears Federline. May God have mercy on his soul.

Well, Pressie, you're doomed from both the nature and nurture fronts, but at least you can lord it over your two half-siblings that you're not a bastard like they (and your father) are. And you'll totally be able to kick Apple Paltrow-(Whatever-That-Ugly-Guy's-Last-Name-Is)'s ass!

Exasperation

I have incredible parents. They're the most supportive, loving parents a child could want. When I see and hear what most other parents are like, I thank the heavens for mine. I'm especially close to my mom. I'm an admitted, and proud, "momma's boy." That does not mean, however, that she doesn't get to me, as only a mother can get to her child. It's part of the job description. Anyway, lately, the big thing is her pressuring me to get a job.

My mother says she thinks she has to "push me" (since she knows I "don't really want to work," but then WHO THE HELL DOES?) to get a job, bu