"What The Hell" And "Awwwww!" All At Once
The Japanese really are crazy. Now they're making over dogs to look like pandas.
And is this adorable animal a panda, a dog, or some genetic experiment gone adorably wrong?
Meanwhile, Tai Shan, The National Zoo's baby panda, has a dress rehearsal for his debut.
Update: I swear, I didn't steal the idea from this post from The Colbert Report tonight! It's pure coincidence; I didn't even watch the 11:30 showing! Anyway, I saw the panda-fied dog video last night on CNN.com and the baby panda story on the news this afternoon.
Bottomline, Baby!
Art and money have been hand in glove since time immemorial and product tie-ins and such are just a new iteration of the same old dynamic. Art is just as much a part of Gross Capitalism as canned beans. Some wax poetic about the honor and purity of the "starving artist," but what artist hopes to stay starving? Man cannot, as some believe (or claim to when they get jealous that they're poor as churchmice and others are making money), live on some cockamamy notion of "artistic integrity" and "realness" alone.
Art is a whore, just like the rest of us. (As a wise man once said, “Ideology doesn’t pay the digital cable bill.”) All you airy-fairy "Art Is Above Mere Commerce" types are just living in a dream world. (Via Books, Inq.)
Breaking News!
There was this guy named Jesus and it's his birthday soon or something! Stop the presses! News at 11!(Via Hunter James)
It's Really Rather Simple
This is why us gays want to marry! (Via Philobiblon)
RIP, Mr. Miyagi
Pat Morita, of Karate Kid fame, died.
I'm oddly bummed out. I mean, I guess it's always sad when someone dies, but it's not like I knew him or anything. It's just that I remember watching those movies and doing that silly crane move when I was little and now Mr. Miyagi's gone and I feel old. ('Cause it's always all about ME, of course!) Anyway, condolences to his loved ones. (Via Defamer)
Physics Throwdown: Flouncy Wig Vs. Crazy Hair
Newton takes Einstein downtown to win the belt for Greatest Genius Ever! I guess I agree with the decision. Newton created modern physics and mathematics, in some cases out of sheer whole cloth. Einstein was an undeniable genius, but he had more material to work with.
10,000!!!
Yesterday, Nov. 26, 2005, at precisely 11:56:42 pm, Bourgeois Nerd had its ten-thousandth visitor!!!
Isn't it all rather exciting? We're coming up on the first anniversary, too, so it's even more exciting. For a little rinky-dink blog like this to get so many visitors (some of whom, of course, are repeaters, but we'll just wave away that little technicality) is a nice achievement. I think so, anyway.
I'd almost like to give a prize to Visitor 10,000, but all I know is that they accessed the site from a computer in Cordova, Tennessee. (I'm also cheap and poor and what the hell would I give them?) Anyway, if you're reading Visitor 10,000, you have my thanks and congratulations!
United States of Fornication
Yet again we prove that Americans, no matter how "heartland" and "values-based" they claim to be, are nothing more than sex-crazed fiends. I must admit, though, the thought of the typical Wal-Mart customer copulating is... disturbing. *shudder*
Pink Pound-ing
Soon, same-sex couples will be allowed to enter into civil partnerships in the UK. Now, everyone wants a piece of the wedding cake. Typical: everyone's always against the gays until you start waving "pink" cash about. Capitalism! (Isn't it grand?)
My two favorite snippets from this article are...
1) "We've had contact with some venues which are clearly reluctant [to host gay weddings] at the moment because they don't know what to make of it - I think they're worried they're going to get 50 guys shagging in the corner."
Frankly, I think that sounds like a great wedding reception, but maybe that's just my sex deprivation talking.
2) "Maybe in 10 years time we won't need to have gay wedding planners or gay companies at all - there will be just wedding planners. Now that would be a measure of equality."
First, just ten years? Ah, bless you, love! Second, thoughts immediately turned to a possible J. Lo The Wedding Planner sequel. That alone could set us back twenty years.
Strange Theology
Who knew the Catholic Church had made such a stunning turnaround in its views of gays! And here I thought they just banned gays from the priesthood!(Via The Little Professor)
RIP
Sam, the world's ugliest dog, has passed away. I'm sure, however, that he's safe and sound in Hell with his true master, Satan. (Via Defamer)
Stop The Presses!
Study reveals boners make guys more boneheaded! What astounding news! I've always thought arousal was a great way to get clearheaded. Just goes to show you the power of science to explode lazy assumptions.
(Via towleroad)
Golden Years
When I'm 70, I hope I can be a killer gaming granny! (Err... *LOL*) I also hope I'll be in the gay retirement home with lots and lots of hot young male nurses. (Via proceed at your own risk; towleroad)
Take A Deep Breath And Repeat After Me: "It's Just A Statue."
'Allo, Love!
There's just something about a British accent. American women and gay men just can't resist it. I've always wondered, though, if straight guys react to British women's accents the same way. They don't seem to, but I really don't know.(Via Bookslut)
Literature Is Evolving Right Before Our Eyes
Word Nerds Take Over!
I'm telling you, we word nerds are everywhere, especially on the blogosphere. You'd better watch out: "WE ARE LEGION!" (Via Bookninja)
Have You Read My Mind, Professor?
Dr. Maggiemay critiques college girls' fashion. And there are many, many, many things to critique. The flip-flop thing, especially the flip-flop-during-the-winter thing, is a particular peeve of mine and is hardly confined to female half of the student population. Put some damn shoes on, people!
Chelonians In The News
Happy (Now Belated) Birthday to Harriet, a Giant Galapagos tortoise believed by some to be one of Darwin's study subjects and, at a spry 175 years old, one of the world's oldest living inhabitants! You don't look a day over 150, Harriet!Meanwhile, new fossils shed light on turtle evolution.
Hurrah!
Book are in! They're even this week's "the new black"! Does this mean I'm finally cool? (Via Bookninja)
Ubermetroretropaleoantihomopanhypersexuality
God, people, can we just come up with an impossible ideal of masculinity that no man can ever live up to and stick with it! American males need some cultural Platonic Idea to aspire to be, and, having failed to achieve, become overcompensating gay bashers, misogynists, and NASCAR fans in response to!(Via Bookslut)
Well, At Least I Have SOME Sort Of Skill!
You are 'Gregg shorthand'. Originally designed to enable people to write faster, it is also very useful for writing things which one does not want other people to read, inasmuch as almost no one knows shorthand any more. You know how important it is to do things efficiently and on time. You also value your privacy, and (unlike some people) you do not pretend to be friends with just everyone; that would be ridiculous. When you do make friends, you take them seriously, and faithfully keep what they confide in you to yourself. Unfortunately, the work which you do (which is very important, of course) sometimes keeps you away from social activities, and you are often lonely. Your problem is that Gregg shorthand has been obsolete for a long time. What obsolete skill are you? brought to you by Quizilla
(Via kinesthesis breakthrough)
Romeo & Juliet
Finally, Shakespeare in a language today's youth can understand: emoticons. (BTW, I hate R & J. What's so romantic about suicide? I'm with Mercutio: a pox on all y'all! Or something like that...)(Via Bookslut)
Book Bits
Tag! Amazon's it!
Just ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Even MY bibliophilia has limits, folks. I would get the creeps just touching one of those books. (Via Bookninja)
Calling All Girl Geeks! Calling All Girl Geeks!
Feeling Blue...
It's been a tough couple of days. I've been in something of a funk. I guess you could call it an "existential crisis."
Sunday night was particularly bad; I was seized with thoughts of mortality, loss, grief, loneliness, and oblivion. We're all going to die and no one will remember us. We're all alone, completely alone. Life is meaningless, futile, and pointless. As I lay in bed, I could feel the darkness around me, pressing on me, eating at me, trying to empty me of all hope and elan vital. (I'm exaggerating, but only slightly. I really was seized with fear and discomfort at the thoughts I was having.) As you might imagine, it wasn't a great night's sleep. Then yesterday and today I've been enervated and anti-social. I'm just down about the same old crap: no job, no money, no man. You know, the usual stuff I whine about, plus some lingering existential angst thrown in for good measure. Not a very tasty stew, let me tell you. Hopefully, I'll be better by the end of the week.
Those Crazy, Kooky, Progressive Scandinavians!
They may commit suicide a lot, but those Nords sure aren't prudes! They put a gay porn star/real estate agent on the cover of their in-flight magazines! Won't be seeing that on USAir Today (or whatever the hell their magazine is) any time soon, I can assure you. BTW, "Scanorama" actually looks interesting and well-written. I admit, I haven't flown in years and hardly paid attention to the magazines when I did, so is this unique to that airline or are other in-flight magazines actually worth reading? (Via Gay.Fleshbot)
In Another Life...
I'd be a dermatologist. I'm absolutely fascinated by skin and hair.
Best Of (Stuff I've Seen Lately)
Good For The Environment
Remember those school assemblies where a group of cracked-out, secretly bitter actors would tell you not to litter and to "Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle!" in an "entertaining" way? Well, it would have been a hell of a lot more entertaining if they'd included the dildo recycling! (Via Gawker)
Why Me?
Why do I only get E-vited to housewarming parties in Hobocken, not to gay orgies in NYC?(Via Gawker)
Crikey!
I'd love to see Steve Irwin try to wrestle this croc! We'd be rid of him at last!
(Via Hairy Museum of Natural History)
God Bless America
Americans (and Canadians) are the kinkiest people in the world! Woohoo! We're number one! We're number one! Take that, you leatherclad Germans! Suck it, British spanking fetishists! I always knew our Puritan public prudery and good old Yankee sexual repression were good for something, and apparently it's making us dirty, dirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrty boys and girls.
Congrats
Conan O'Brien and his wife welcomed little Beckett O'Brien into the world on Wednesday. Beckett, eh? A little preppy, but it's sorta goes nicely with "O'Brien," I think. And, in a world of Apples and Kal-Els, it's almost downright boring! (Via Defamer)
Bear Sex
How do you guarantee a reprint of your novel? Get indicted! Scooter Libby's 1996 The Apprentice has proven to be so in-demand since his indictment, the publisher has decided to print 25,000 new copies. Well, that should help defray the legal bills, at least! And who wouldn't want to own a book now infamous for its pedophilic bear porn? (I don't get the big deal about the bear sex, really. Shoot, us gays have been having sex with bears for years! Meanwhile, in other bear sex news, two pandas in Thailand make it legal before hitting the bamboo sheets. Great idea, guys! Pandas are already notoriously non-horny creatures; marriage should really get them in the mood. *eye roll* (Via Gawker; Wonkette)
Heaven Or Hell?
I can't decide whether this job would be delightful or maddening. On the one hand, you get to be around books all day (a definite plus, to my mind) and find interesting things in them, like old letters and marginalia. On the other hand, it looks like it's incredibly tedious. It's not like it's incredibly well-paying, either. But you get to handle books all day! It's such a conundrum... (Via Bookslut)
This IS A Joke, Isn't It?
Isn't it? Please tell me it is. Sometimes my sarcasm/irony-reader goes a little kerflooey, so forgive me for even contemplating for a nanosecond the idea that this may possibly maybe be real. In today's world, one cannot always be sure of such things. (Via Gawker)
"We Had Joy, We Had Fun, We Had Seasons In The Sun"
Does anyone else know a weird cross-section of 70s "classics," but only in the form of a medley of five second clips as played on late-night infomercials? No? Thought as much...
Rock Snobs
Ah, rock snobs. How I detest you! Seriously, y'all, I hate it when people only like something when they're the only ones who know about it. The minute it gains any degree of notoriety, the musicians have "sold out" and are garbage. Hello, if it's good music, it's good music. It shouldn't matter if it's "underground" or "indie" or "mainstream" or whatever.
Rock snobs just like feeling "superior" because they listen to little-known bands instead of the pop of the hoi polloi. Elitist pricks. (Via Bookslut)
Can We Talk?
I know it's de rigeur nowadays to ridicule her and her plastic surgery-overloaded face, but the fact of the matter is that Joan Rivers is damn funny. (Via Towleroad)
Who Says The Art Of Letter Writing Is Dead?
I did not know this, but, apparently, dysfunctional families write letters to one another all the time. But writing a soul-bearing letter takes a lot of time. So, if you're on the go, just use this handy Dysfunctional Family Letter Generator. Let loose your inner pain and still keep up with your hectic schedule!(Via Maud Newton)
Antique Books In A High-Tech Frame
They don't make them like they used to. Today's Danielle Steeles and Dan Browns will never photograph that well in a hundred years time! (Via Bookninja)
I'm Sure There's A Vampire Joke Somewhere In This...
It might not be totally suprising to you that I'm a huge Buffy/Angel fan. Thus, news that there might be some direct-to-DVD movies is a cause for cautious optimism here at Bourgeois Nerd.PZ Myers of Pharyngula has mixed feelings. "Some stories should come to an end. I'd rather see Whedon move on to new ideas than endlessly mining old ones." I disagree, however. The Buffyverse (as the cool kids say) has all kinds of stories to tell, I think. Buffy herself is probably one of the most uninteresting things about it. Therefore, depending on what secondary characters they choose to focus on, new DVD movies would be awesome. More awesome would be an actual ending for Angel (I know they're fun in their own way, but I'm not the kind of person who enjoys cliffhangers), but I doubt that's ever gonna happen.
I Hate To Say It...
Scarily enough, Gawker and I are of one mind when it comes to The Colbert Report: "...a show we sort of feel like we should be watching but also don’t enjoy as we’d hoped to when we do."
I'm a huge 
