It's been a tough couple of days. I've been in something of a funk. I guess you could call it an "existential crisis."
Sunday night was particularly bad; I was seized with thoughts of mortality, loss, grief, loneliness, and oblivion. We're all going to die and no one will remember us. We're all alone, completely alone. Life is meaningless, futile, and pointless. As I lay in bed, I could feel the darkness around me, pressing on me, eating at me, trying to empty me of all hope and elan vital. (I'm exaggerating, but only slightly. I really was seized with fear and discomfort at the thoughts I was having.) As you might imagine, it wasn't a great night's sleep.
Then yesterday and today I've been enervated and anti-social. I'm just down about the same old crap: no job, no money, no man. You know, the usual stuff I whine about, plus some lingering existential angst thrown in for good measure. Not a very tasty stew, let me tell you. Hopefully, I'll be better by the end of the week.
4 comments:
Frank: Well I truly do emphasize. I got no money, no job and no woman. But, I do have sunshine and the Chicken Shack and Hookah Lounge. :-) Other than being happy with poverty and solitude I have no useful suggestions.
Oh, JPO, don't worry. I'll snap out of it and, one of these days, the job, money, and relationship/sex will come. For BOTH of us.
I've had those nights. I can remember one summer night just lying in bed listening to Joni Mitchell's album Blue over and over again and sobbing ....
But I guess without the lows, we wouldn't appreciate the highs in life.
Oh, no, Tristan, drugs are always welcome! *LOL* Actually, I take Paxil, but even with medication, you still have lows occasionally.
Thanks for the kind thoughts, jo(e).
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