Shaving

I hate shaving. I don't know why. I mean, all I have to shave is my face, while women are forced to shave practically everything, but it still just chaps my ass for some reason. Frankly, I dislike it so much, I usually only shave once a week (even though I should do it more often for a truly "clean" look). It's part of my Friday night ritual: shave and Biore pore strip while watching the Sci-Fi Channel. I didn't shave this Friday, though, because we're out of Biores and I'm incredibly lazy. Therefore, I now have about a week and a half's worth of stubble on my face. I'm a really sad individual...

Posts About How Dull I Am Are Really Dull...

But I don't care! Blogs are all about honesty (at least in theory). The honest truth is that I haven't thought of a damn interesting thing to write all this weekend because it's been even duller than usual around Casa McCormick. Sorry!

Check out Hunter's new hairdo; he looks fabulous!

The "Random Page" feature on Wikipedia is addictive. You just keep clicking and clicking and clicking. Or perhaps it's just me. I was known, in my younger days when we had an encyclopedia set, to just curl up with a volume and flip around. It's why I'm such a repository of trivia (not all of it useless). Anyway, it's amazing the fun things you can find at random in an encyclopedia, so check Wikipedia out.

Gratuitous Semi-Nudity

I never wanted to be a tub so much in my life!

Dusty

This is a less demonic picture of my dear departed Dusty. Wasn't he a prince of a pug? I really miss him.

Long Day

Long and dull are the words to describe today. I had classes and meetings and stuff. Sitting in one night class for two and a half hours is not fun. I did distribute the flier for that microbusiness I talked about yesterday, though, so we'll see what develops on that front. Such is the glamour of the Frank McCormick life.

"Idaho" Shmidaho!

So late last night I caught the last half or so of My Own Private Idaho with Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix. I'd always heard that it was a really good movie. Whoever thought this was a crackhead. The digital cable description of it was "director Gus Van Sandt's stylized portrayal of two hustlers..." Apparently, "stylized" means the most boring, incoherent, and pretentious piece of crap ever!!! I realize I didn't see the beginning, but I really don't think I have to to know this movie sucks. The anvils (oh, sorry, "symbolism") that kept whacking me over the head made me a bit whoozy. People just like this movie because River Phoenix and Keanu Reeves (in some eyes) were pretty and getting it on. And there wasn't even enough of that to make it good! Bah!

Entrepreneurial

Over the past year, I've been learning to use QuarkXPress, the most popular page layout program. I've gotten tolerably competent with it. I can do fliers and brochures and things like that. It's nice to have some kind of skill, and I've decided to parlay that skill into a little business. My campus, and I'm sure most college campuses, is papered with fliers and things advertising clubs and events. Most of them, quite frankly, are atrocious. They're unclear and unattractive and, therefore, ineffective. So I've decided to advertise my services as a page layout-ist to the organizations on campus. I'm hardly an artist, but I can produce much better fliers than most clubs can on their own. I'm going to put a little ad in everyone's mailbox and see what kind of response I'll get. It'll be good experience and will, hopefully, give me some extra cash to play with.

I'd "Bolt" if I saw *that* thing!

You have to give it to Toby; not only can he write very well, the boy has some balls (well, balls aren't really relevant in this case, but you know what I mean). Personally, I've never gotten much into dildos and I don't think a metal one would really be the way to change that. I'd love to see the movie, though!

Oy vey!

Sometimes I wish I were Jewish instead of a not-so-good Irish Catholic boy, simply because it would make me feel less strange for busting out Yiddish words and phrases all the time. I love what I term "Yiddioms" (aren't I clever!); they're just so useful and expressive. "Schlep," "schmukis," "putz," and "mensch," are among my favorites. "Schlong" is my number one, though. *hehe*

We use the same template!

I found a really cool blog via a link on the site of the lovely Hunter Thomas (who was kind enough to link to this blog; welcome to those who followed that link!). Take a look at the blog of "the trashtastic Cuban cousin of Paris and Nicky" Hilton. You're virtually guaranteed a laugh! The layout, however, looks rather familiar... *hehe*

Zebras never looked so good!

I like pro wrestling for two reasons: the high campy goodness and all of the hot, muscley guys in tight, skimpy spandex. Oh, and all of the homoerotic grappling, of course. This picture is of one of the pack of young hotties in the WWE today; his name is Randy Orton and, as you can see, he... fills the ref uniform quite nicely!

Gay Marriage

Politically, I am totally pro-gay marriage. It is absolutely ridiculous that gay couples are denied the same rights as their straight counterparts. If religious denominations do not wish to recognize or bless gay unions, that is their perogative. But marriage isn't a religious institution, so their opinion should be of no consequence. Though when people think "marriage" they think church and white and all of that, marriage is really about that certificate you're issued down at town hall. You can get a religious blessing, but a relationship is only certified as marriage with a government license. All the government has to do is issue the same license to whatever couple comes in, no matter the genders of the applicants.

Personally, however, I'm deeply ambivalent about gay marriage. I don't have anything against marriage, as some do, but I'm not sure it's right for me. And it's not quite true that advocating gay marriage is simply advocating for the right for gay marriage. Straight people are expected to get married at some point. If they don't, they're treated as having something wrong with them. A lot of people get married simply because they are "supposed" to get married. There's a lot of subtle, and not-so-subtle, social pressure. I'm not really certain I want the same pressure to be brought to bear on me.

Demon Pug! *hehe* No, my dear departed Dusty was not possessed. I should have some better pictures of myself soon, but this picture is just so cute!

A homoerotic drinking party? I'm there!

Just finished reading The Symposium by Plato. It's for my senior English seminar on frame tales. Plato's funny as an author; I've had to read several of his dialogues and The Republic, with wildly divergent levels of enjoyment. Eurythro, The Apology, and the Phaedra death scene were all excellent. The Republic, though, was a nightmare. Dull, dull, dull, dull!!! Thankfully, The Symposium is in the former class of Plato's work.

The frame of the story is a big drinking party where Socrates and friends discuss Love. I don't agree with a lot of the philosophy presented (I don't agree with most of Plato's philosophy), but it's still a fun read. It's also, towards the end, an unexpectedly erotic and poignant depiction of unrequited homosexual love. It's really short and straightforward (it took me only about two hours to read); I highly recommend it.

"Vulpes" = "Fox" in Latin

Snowy Fox

Picture Experiment

It's pretty... as long as I don't have to shovel it!

Snow and Pictures

Well, the Northeast is supposed to get hit by a snowstorm tomorrow. Hooray! Shoveling snow is just what I want to do on a Saturday!

I've just realized that this blog is a bit text-heavy. It needs a little more pizzazz. Thus, I'll be trying to put up some pictures and graphics, just to keep things more interesting.

Terminology

Several years ago, a guy told me that an orgy consists of eight or more people. Anything less is "just group sex." But even eight seems a little low. When I think of "orgy," I think of like fifty people going at it. I suppose there should be gradations of orgy. Someone, get on that!

What prompted my orgy musings? This lucky bastard, who is going to one over the weekend. I'm mildly jealous, but I really think at this point in my unlucky sexual career I need a good one-on-one session as opposed to more complicated arrangements. Baby steps, people, baby steps! *hehehehehehehe* (BTW, the lucky bastard also introduced me to the term "fourgy," a word he and his boyfriend use for foursomes. It's clever, I think.)

Students Write the Darnedest Things

I don't know if this essay is for real. If it is real, I don't know if this essay is for high school or college-level. All I know is that, sadly, I wouldn't be surprised if it WERE real, based on the truly heinous papers I've seen in my school career. I'd love to write one just like it, just to see the reaction I'd get. I'm way too chicken, though.

Snow

Well, it's snowing in the Delaware Valley. I still have to go to school for an evening class. Yay!

Snow is really pretty, but a pain in the ass! Shoveling is the bane of my existence. I don't know how people in Buffalo do it.

Oh, and it's still COLD!

School II

First day of my last semester: COLD and uneventful. My Advanced Publications Layout (I took the first a year ago and have been helping the professor with various projects ever since) is fine. My biology class looks like it's about as good as a biology class can be. I'm only taking it because I have to have a lab to graduate.

Did I mention that it's cold in the Northeast this week? Well, it's freezing, dammit!

School

Tomorrow (well, today, now) is the first day of my spring semester. It is also the start of my LAST semester in college, which I'm TOTALLY FREAKING OUT about. What on earth am I going to do when I'm out of school? Get a job?!?!? Be a responsible adult??? I think I'm going to faint...

Stocks aren't the only things cyclical...

As a young, red-blooded American male, I'm supposed to be super-horny all the time. The truth is, though, I'm not. Oh, I think about sex (and how I don't get it) a lot, but that's a slightly different thing. When I say "horny," I'm talking about that burning, almost painful, arousal that grips you like a mountain climber on a rocky cliff. This sort of feeling comes over me in unpredictable waves; sometimes I go weeks without even the inclination to masturbate. Then the horniness just arises out of nowhere and I have to "take care of business." The second my orgasm's over, I'm totally un-horny again and it's at least a day before I even think about sex again. "One and done" is what one person I know calls that. Hardly a sexual dynamo, I am. Maybe I just have low testosterone or something.

Literary Theory

I'm sick of Othering. There, I've said it! I, an English major, am sick of Othering!

"What the hell is Othering?" non-English majors ask. Othering is part of postcolonial literary theory developed by Edward Said that describes the way in which one group of people defines itself against and above another group of people. For instance, the West is depicted as Christian, rational, and democratic; the East, on the other hand, is depicted as heathen, sensual, and despotic. Therefore, the West is superior to the East and is justified in dominating it. The whole point is to justify racist and imperialist ideas, though it can be applied to other relationships (men and women, for instance).

Othering, as a theory, isn't "wrong" in my opinion. It's really quite valid. If you're observant, you can see it in a whole bunch of places. I'm just sick of it because I don't think it's often particularly useful. Does recognizing the Othering of India in Jane Eyre really help us understand the novel better? I don't think so. Yet, in my Victorian Literature class last semester, we talked a lot about the Othering of India in Jane Eyre. And that's just one small example from one class. It's really gotten on my nerves, for some reason.

Two More Blogs

I'll share two more blogs I read. They're completely different from each other.

The first, Beatrice.com, is a book industry/literary blog site. I came across it while watching a blog panel on C-SPAN 2's BookTV (if there were any doubt that I am a nerd, the fact that I love C-SPAN puts it to rest). The guy who writes it is a dry, sarcastic type, which is my kind of humor. Why "beatrice"? Well, on the panel he said it was an attempt to make money off of the Beatrice corporation back when domain names were big money, but I'm not entirely sure that's the serious answer. That's the drawback with the dry, sarcastic types: you don't always know if they're serious. Anyhow, it's a good read.

Notthatboy is the blog of a cute and intelligent gay pornstar-on-the-rise named Hunter. He moved to NYC a few months ago and, besides being poor, is having a fabulous time. It's a very good read with lots of pictures (though nothing "explicit"; he's a "neighbor" of mine on Blogspot after all). He seems like a really nice/cool guy, too. I'm quite jealous, really.

English is a Whore!

I love the English language. What I love most about it is its variety, dynamism, and sheer joie de vivre. We don't have any board or committee to tell us how to speak it like the French. The speakers shape the language themselves through speaking and writing. Thus, English is a constantly evolving and supremely flexible language. It's a beautiful thing.

I've heard English described as the whore of languages. I've always loved that analogy because it is a whore: a warm, friendly hooker (with a heart of gold, naturally) always willing to spread her legs and receive new vocabulary and speech patterns. Or, to put it more succinctly:

“The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don’t just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.” - James D. Nicoll

Mini Macs

While I'm neither a Mac cultist (those people are a freaky cult!) nor a hater (I can work with PC or Mac, though I like PC slightly better), I would be remiss in my nerd duties if I didn't ogle the new "Mac mini" a bit. It's extraordinary!

Jen and Brad

By now I'm sure we've all heard the news: Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt have separated. Really, I couldn't give a flying fuck. Jennifer Aniston is a talentless shrew and Brad Pitt couldn't act his way out of a paper bag. I'm not one to totally decry the cult of celebrity, but at least give me some entertaining celebrities! And why is it such a shock that these two are splitting up? Half of ALL marriages end in divorce and the rate in Hollywood must be like 90% or something. It was only a matter of time; frankly, I'm shocked they lasted this long. So, Mr. Pitt and Ms. Aniston, congratulations on your divorce. I'm sure your millions and the ten hookers and five gigolos, respectively, you have squirreled away will dull the pain.

(BTW, I have to admit that, while I can see why so many people drool over Brad Pitt, I can't join in on the lusting. Something about him just... squicks me out. Mark my words, years from now we'll all learn he's a serial killer or something!)

Die, Mommie, Die!

Tonight was another movie night with a friend. Jackie (aka my "fag hag," which we use as a term of love and affection, even though I know some use it pejoratively) and I had wanted to see Die, Mommie, Die! for quite some time, so we rented it from Blockbuster (they got rid of late fees, BTW, though they've hardly advertised the fact *hehehehe*). If you've never heard of it, DMD is a humorous homage (not quite a parody) of those melodramatic "women's pictures" of the 30s-60s. You know, the kind with Bette Davis or Joan Crawford as the murdering wife or something. Anyway, it was originally a stage play written by and starring a man by the name of Charles Busch, a famous and fabulous drag queen. It's pure camp. I was disappointed, though. It wasn't as over the top or wacky as I expected, nor was it as funny. It was entertaining, but just not as marvelous as I'd anticipated.

First Harold and Kumar and now Die, Mommie, Die! disappoint. I guess I just get my hopes up too high! Either that or I just suck at picking movies to rent.

Nerdy Link

As the title of this blog indicates, I'm a big nerd. I'm quite proud of it. There are tons and tons of us out there. In fact, I think MOST people are nerds; they just don't want to admit it. Two of my fellow nerds (and Blogspotters) run a really nice site called SciFiDaily. It's snarky and fun and a joy to read. Highly recommended!

Harold and Kumar

My friend Christina and I rented Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle. It was cute, but not as stupidly funny as I'd have liked. We were a bit disappointed. Stoners (which neither Christina nor I are) might appreciate it more. We watched The Birdcage on TV after H&K was over. I hadn't seen it in a while; it was very funny. One of the few movies I can stand Robin Williams in.

Cleanin' fool!

I haven't had anything to bitch about, thus the lack of entries the last day or two. I really don't think anyone besides me is reading this, so it hardly matters. And even if someone IS reading, I doubt they much care that I was silent for two days. *shrug* It's better for my ego to go with the illusion of an interested readership, so we'll go with the assumption that lots of people were on the edge of their seats waiting for my next posting.

I'm a bit of a lazy-bones. I'm not one of those people who LOOOOVES to clean (that's my sister). Since I still live at home (as does my neat-freak sister), I luckily don' t have to clean. Every now and again, though, some switch goes off in my head and I start cleaning. Tonight was one of those times, leading me to mop the floor (with a Swiffer Wet), scrub the toilet (with one of those wand things), and clean the bathroom in our addition (with lots and lots of Orange Glo). The shower was disgustingly dirty and mildewy (and still isn't as immaculate as I would like). I'm going to get bleach tomorrow to disinfect the actual tub a bit. At some point before I go back to school, I think I'll also scrape off all of the old, cracking, mildewy caulking around the shower door and put some fresh caulk on.

Ah, the glamour... *hehehehe*

Bulls and China Shops

There are two kinds of television programs I seem to be attracted to: animal shows and antique shows.

Weeknights at 10:00 p.m. is Animal Cops on Animal Planet. It's horrifying what people do to animals. As a big old softie (put any kind of furball in front of me and I melt into baby talk), it breaks my heart to see the cruelty. The animal control officers deserve huge kudos for their work. They have to deal with some really brutal cases and low-life characters. I couldn't do it; I'd punch the people out or just start crying.

The Brits are much more into antiques than we are (which isn't really surprising considering the future-orientation of American culture), so three of the four antique shows I watch are from the other side of the Atlantic. My favorite show is called Cash in the Attic. An expert comes to your house, values your things, and puts it into an auction. There's always a goal, like a thousand pounds for a vacation or five hundred for a camera, to provide some drama. It's very interesting to see what people have tucked away in boxes and cabinets. And I'm absolutely in love with one of the valuers; his name is Jonty (how British!) and he's dreamy in that nerdy kind of way. Another one is Bargain Hunt. Two teams of two are given two hundred pounds and set lose in an antique fair. The object is to buy things cheap and make a profit on them at an auction. Despite the help of two experts, one per team, they very rarely actually make a profit. It's fun, though, trying to guess what'll sell well and what won't. The third one is called Flot It! and it's sort of a combination of Cash and Bargain. People bring things to be valued and then put them into an auction. The only American one of the bunch (though the original one is British) is Antiques Roadshow. It's actually my least favorite. I guess I need the auction action to get me going.

So, yeah, once I get a little older and a little more financially secure, I'll be one of those antiquing queens with lots of dogs. I'm actually quite content with that. There are worse things to grow up to be.

Another "Wonderful" Sexual Experience

So you know how I've previously complained about never finding anyone on one of those dating/hook-up sites? Well, tonight I DID find someone. And he wanted a third for a threeway!

Though it was probably stupid, I went off not even knowing his name. As soon as I entered the house, though, I knew that my sexual dissatisfaction "streak" would probably stay alive. They seemed nice enough guys (they had a cute dog), but they weren't terribly friendly. I mean, I wasn't expecting wine and roses and long conversations and the sharing of life stories - it was just a hook-up after all - but they barely said anything to me. Plus, I was nervous and awkward. I'd never done the random online trick before. They put a porn on, dimmed the lights, and things developed. Didn't go that great. I suck at handjobs (I don't masturbate that way) and my skills at fellatio are limited. And, again, I'd never done this before, so I didn't (and still don't) quite know the etiquette. I did my best, though.

A couple minutes passed. I could tell none of us were really all that thrilled. Then the one guy said he just couldn't get into it and was "out of sorts." He went into the bathroom. The other guy and I just sort of sat there awkwardly for a sec. Finally, he just said we'd "finish another night" and that was it. I had to chuckle on the way home. It was just soooooooooooo par for the course with me.

The whole incident has crystallized a growing concern of mine: my penis is very tempermental. Most of the time, manual manipulation doesn't really light my world on fire. Erect, it doesn't like to be at angles above twenty or thirdy degrees above my stomach. And the skin's very sensitive; it takes a lot of lube for a hand to feel like anything other than sandpaper. My penis doesn't even like being sucked! *sigh* Something's definitely wrong with me...

In summation, I'm still incredibly sexually frustrated. Cheers!

A different sort of Braveheart...

Got this from the blog Trabaca: a thong kilt! How cute! And hot. I've always had a thing for kilts. It's the Celtic blood in me.

Ahhh, ennui...

I've been rather listless and downright depressed of late. I don't really know why. It's probably just a function of having too much time on my hands and the usual after-holidays blues. But I also think it's my lackluster lovelife. I think the fact that I don't have anyone special, or even anyone NOT special, is starting to weigh on me. I want a boy, damnit!!!

Reading Lolita in Tehran

I just finished reading the book Reading Lolita in Tehran by Aznar Nafisi. Excellent book. I hightly recommend it. It's melancholy and hopeful all at once. Dr. Nafisi, who I have watched on TV a few times, has the most beautiful voice (both literarily and vocally). It's also perfect for an English major such as myself because it shows just how vital literature really can be.

The book made me wonder just how I would handle living in a totalitarian regime. I'm not sure I could cope very well. I'm glad I live in the U.S.

Does this mean I'm a "cub"?

I'm 22. I don't drink. Yet, over the past year or so, I've noticed that I'm getting more chest hair. Between that and my slight paunch, I'll be a bear in no time! Grrrr! *LOL*

Links

If you're like me and enjoy ogling half-naked men, here's a site for you. (Must be 21 or older!).

Ever wanted to watch a talk show about gay porn hosted by a drag queen and an Anderson Cooper-esque Internet entrepeneur? Here's the show for you!

Pics

For about four years now, I've really only had one digitized picture to send to anyone I know exclusively online. This is due to the fact that I don't come from a particularly picture-oriented family, I don't like most of the pictures I'm in, and I don't have a scanner or digital camera. But, in the interests of my neverending quest to hook-up online, I've decided to go ahead and have a friend (who got a digital camera for Christmas) take some new pics to put up in my ads. I'll also put one or two up here so you can see just who the mad genius behind all of this is. (Don't you feel honored???) I don't know when exactly the pictures will be taken, but it'll probably be fairly soon. Something to look forward to!

Wow!

I've had this blog for three days now and I'm already addicted to it! I keep thinking about what to write and how to make it better. I guess that's good, to an extent, but I don't need yet another obsession. I'm sure once I go back to school and get busy with other things I'll go days at a time without any postings and all my thousands of adoring fans will send me emails asking when I shall bestow upon them another one of my edifying musings. *LOL* Maybe. For the foreseeable future, however, I'll probably be posting up a storm and y'all'll want me to shut the fuck up. Oh, well...

Other Blogs

Believe it or not (or don't care either way), I've only really been reading blogs for about a week or two. Being on winter break, I have a LOT of time on my hands. I've come across some really cool ones; I'll share two of them right now.

Vividblurry is the blog of a contemporary of mine in DC by the name of "Toby". He's bitchy and diva-ish and fun to read (as well as being really cute). http://www.vividblurry.com/

Ken Smith is an author with a visceral hatred of all marketing/business/PR language. He's fighting the good fight against the mutiliation of the English language by politics and advertising. http://junkenglish.typepad.com/

I have more blogs I like, but I'll get to them some other day. If I figure out how to do it, I'll even do a link section.

Parentheses

If anyone is going to read this, then I should confess something right now. I'm addicted to... parentheses. Yes, some go in for crystal meth or cocaine, but I just can't get enough parentheses in my writing. I'm just a sucker for clarification, qualification, and tangentiation (which I'm not sure is a word). So, now you know how degenerate I really am. *LOL*

Happy New Year!!!

2005 is upon us and I just want to add my "Happy New Year's!" to the chorus.

I never do anything for New Year's; I stay home with my mother and grandmother. Unfortunately, they didn't make it to midnight this year, so I rang 2005 in by myself. I'd never been bothered by my lack of New Year's activities before, but this year it was really just depressing. Still, I'm sure the new year will be kind despite its somewhat inauspicious start. Hope everyone else had a good time!