Our Lady, Full Of Skank...

What hath Paris Hilton wrought? Some say people get the religion (and the government) they deserve, so BOW BEFORE YOUR GOD!!!

Pride

A gay rights protest in Russia turned very, very ugly. It's very sobering to see, not just read but see, how dangerous it is just to be who you are in many parts of the world. It's also inexplicably pride-inducing to see my brethren and sistren be so brave. I wish I knew for certain if I would or would not have their courage. The fact that there is a very big doubt makes me more than a little sad.

Yee-Haw!

There was a gay hootinanny in NYC this weekend, y'all! (Some pics might be NSFW, depending on your W's NSF tolerance.) Poor lesbians. They came to actually dance; the gays just came to show off their new chaps and dorky-sexy glasses.

(Via Gawker)

Snaaarf!

Ancient Spirits of Evil! If only I'd known sooner! Oh well, at least we'll have one day to celebrate.

(Via Smart Bitches)

"Calamari" Is A Somewhat Logical, But Deeply Disturbing, Euphemism For It

Those randy classical writers: full of sex they were! Though, really, what else is a shepherd supposed to do with his "boneless one" when he's out in the wild all alone?

(Via Books, Inq.)

For All The Cat People In The Audience...

...cats in boxes!

(Via Cute Overload!)

Memorial Day

Not having any family who died while fighting in war, I don't feel Memorial Day "in my gut" if you know what I mean. But I think I understand it a little bit better, now, after reading this post by my friend Scott.

Warning: Half-Naked Man Ahead

This picture just strikes me for some reason. Yes, it's sexy, but it's also just generally aesthetically-pleasing somehow. And that guy wears bikini-briefs better than any man I've ever seen!

One question, though: what the hell is going on near his head? Is he blow-drying his hair? Is he holding a gun to his head? I can't tell.



(Via Proceed At Your Own Risk)

*HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE*

This stupid joke really made me laugh. It's, as I said, stupid, as well as crude and probably sexist somehow, but I just can't help it: it's funny.

(Via The Salt-Box)

Pulp Fiction

Classic literature with pulp covers. Frankly, they make them all "sound" more interesting, so some publisher should actually use them. It'd certainly get kids in school to pay more attention to what they're reading.

(Via Bookslut)

Ve Haf Vays Auf Making You Talk!

The image of the humorless German is a consequence of linguistic differences between the English and German languages.

(Via Bookninja)

Gah!

For belonephilic nerds: eyeglass piercings. It's sort of logical, but very disturbing.

(Via Pharyngula)

Question For My Academic Readers

I've come across a site before where you can search library catalogs and see what libraries have what books. I cannot, however, remember where the hell it is and what the hell it is called. Can you help, my dearest scholars?

An Endorsement Of Gay Adoption By The Experts

Even the storks agree that we can successfully raise children! (Also, more gay birds!)

Pounding On The Still-Living "Corpse" Of Bookstores

The supposedly dismal future of the bookstore, both the "dying" independent and the bookstore industry in general.

(Via Books, Inq.)

Where Was This When I Was In School?

It's sad, really, but I think this graph paper generator is really nifty. And I'm not even a math person! I could have really used it when I was high school; graph paper was very dear, so we didn't get a lot of pieces of it from the teachers.

(Via Maud Newton)

When Sci-Fi Nerds Go Too Far...

they start S&M sects based on 60s sci-fi books. What I find most amusing about the whole thing is the fact that the sect in question is a splinter group of another 60s sci-fi book-based religion. That just tickles me for some reason.

(Via Bookslut)

We Are QUITE Amused (And A Little Turned On)

Sir Ian! You're such a rake! Don't you have a long-time companion (that I believe I read you plan to marry now that civil partnerships are available in Britain)? Cheeky monkey!

Mac Hajj

Apple cultists now have a Kaaba of their very own. It's even a cube and everything! First Madonna thinks she's Jesus, and now Steve Jobs thinks he's Muhammad, apparently. Who wants to be Buddha? Or, to complete the monotheistic trifecta, should it be Moses?

Madonna!

Really, Madge, is that quite necessary? I thought you were Jewish now or something, anyway.

Vince, will you please get her under control?!?!?

Wonder What The Klingon Is For "SOLD To The Man In The Vulcan Ears!" Is

Save your gold-pressed latinum for the upcoming Star Trek garage sale! I can't lie, I get a total nerd-gasm thinking about buying Picard's flute (and take that statement as you will). Ah, to actually have the time and money to go to the auction...

(Via Defamer)

A Post About Boobs On THIS Blog?!?

As you may have noticed, breasteses don't really do it for me, but these two posts on the evolution of the breast and breast milk are absolutely fascinating! So there, Probably-Non-Existent-Straight-Male-Readers-Of-This-Blog, don't say I never did anything for you!

*Melts Into A Puddle Of Goo*

"Look Into My Eyes And Behold CUTENESS!"

(Via Cute Overload)

Doesn't Get Much Nerdier Than This Right Here

A study of the literary and mythological influence on video games.

(Via Bookslut)

Jim Breuer

Do you all remember Jim Breuer? You know, the one who did Goat Boy on Saturday Night Live and starred in Half-Baked (a movie I have never seen, BTW, since I don't have any stoner friends). Well, I just saw him on Late Night with Carson Daly. Now, he was never exactly hot, but boy is looking rough nowadays! The bags under his eyes! The puffiness! The glassy eyes! The "I just woke up from a bender" hair! Horrifying. Lay off the booze and/or weed, Breuer-san! You have kids!

A Random Act of Conscience

Random House has decided to start getting more serious about using recycled paper. Kudos! I hope more publishers follow suit; it'll assuage my guilt over all the dead trees I gleefully read.

(Via Bookslut)

The Hero Of The Hour

Computer saves the sanity of college professors. Aren't you relieved, GayProf?

(Via Bookslut)

Sick Of Me Yet?

This is Bourgeois Nerd's 1000th post! Can you believe it? It doesn't feel like I've released that much inanity and superfluousness into cyberspace. But I still feel inordinately proud of the feat. I hope it's been as fun for you as it has been for me and that y'all stick around for the next thousand! *kisses*

Man Meat

Hail, Caesar!

(Via The Pretty Boys Club)

'ow YOU doin'?

(Via Towleroad)

Enough With The Cartoon Nostalgia!

By now, I've realized that my entire youth was spent watching cartoons. That might explain some things. Or not. *shrug* Anyway, don't worry, this will be the last Cartoon Nostalgia post for a while (in other words, until some night I can't think of anything else to blog about).

The Centurions. It had a space station that would beam down these cybersuit things to three guys. Each guy was a specialist in one kind of terrain: water, air, or terrestrial. They would then use said cybersuits to fight evil and injustice and supervillainry.

Exosquad. It was about a future in which humanity genetically engineers Neo-Humans to settle Mars and be like slaves or something, but, of course, they rise up against their human creators. Even worse, they're led by a Hitler-like charismatic leader dedicated to basically wiping out the plain old humans. A small force of intrepid humans, and one good Neo-Human, use "exoskeletons" to combat the Neos and free humanity. A very sophisticated and dark cartoon, that is, apparently, now a cult classic. Frustratingly, it ended on a huge cliffhanger that will never be resolved. *grrr*

Batman: The Animated Series. The Batman/Bruce Wayne in this was hot! Way hotter than any of the guys who've played the character in live-action, IMHO. This was also a really dark, gritty cartoon animated in a dark, gritty style with dark, gritty storylines. Frankly, it's darker and grittier (and better) than any of the big-screen versions ever were.

Well, that's it for Cartoon Nostalgia for now. Or is it.........? *MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*

Kissing Cousins

Early humans were rather kinky. Nothing like a little inter-primate incest to spice things up!

(Via Pharyngula)

I'm A Sucker For A Pretty Face

Yeah, I'm only linking to this because of the pug. Deal.

Independent/Chain Bookstore Knifefight Continues Unabated

But Jenna Crispin injects some much-needed sanity into the debate.

I'm an unashamed habitue of my local Borders and Barnes & Noble. I get a lot of books online at various retailers. I don't have any independent bookstores that I visit, though. The one I did go to closed years ago and, frankly, it wasn't that great, but it was close. I'm not ashamed of my book-buying habits and I don't think anyone should try to make me feel so. If you have a great independent bookstore near you that you just love, support it with all your might. But someone who goes to a chain is not evil or stupid. Some of them are just the best option in the area. So just cool it with the hipster-ironic-commie-pinko condescension, bub!

In the end, as Crispin points out, "Insisting that book-buyers’ retailer decision must, or should, be one-or-the-other is hardly realistic. Of course, it does keep the debate alive—infinitely and uselessly."

(Via Bookslut)

Grrrrr!

Can't we all just get along?

Speaking as a mathematically-challenged, science-interested, artsy-fartsy humanities type, it really gets my goat when either the humanities or the sciences gets on a high horse and looks down on the other. Get with it, people! Knowledge isn't really a collection of wholly distinct disciplines hierarchically ordered according to arbitrary criteria: that's just the way we've decided to divide them up to make education a little easier. I'm not good at math, but I appreciate its value and fascination and hold in esteem those who are good at it. I expect the same consideration from my counterparts. Enough with the stupid "my discipline is better than yours!" crap. We have so many more important things to deal with. And to bicker at a time when education in toto is under threat by wingnuts and loons is sickening.

*Vigorously Nods Head In Agreement*

Yet again, Gayprof nails it. Homosexuals should be allowed to marry because it is their right. That does not mean, however, that homosexuals (or heterosexuals for that matter) who do not want marriage, who opt for "untraditional" relationships, or just want to slut it up with whoever comes along should be looked down upon or treated as lesser. Everyone has the right to be who they want to be and to be with who they want to be in whatever permutation that takes (with the full consent and safety of all involved, of course).

Homosexuals who really are bland and boring and bourgeois (and, hey, that describes me quite well!) should be allowed to be who they are just as much as a Radical Faerie in a five-way relationship. But those who conform in the vain hope that this will make heterosexuals like us and deign to allow us our rights are, frankly, pathetic. That's just selling out and makes my blood boil. It doesn't matter how "mainstream" we are or how closely we mimic them: at the end of the day, those that hate us and don't want to allow us to exercise our rights will always hate us and not allow us to exercise our rights simply because we exist and love who we love.

Cool! She's Always Been My Favorite Of Henry VIII's Wives.

Which of Henry VIII's wives are you?
this quiz was made by Lori Fury

(Via Edward II)

Oh My God!

I... Um... Ow... Wow... What? (TOTALLY, ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NSFW!)

(Via Gay.Fleshbot)

I Bet He's Relieved

King Tut's "missing" penis has been found.

(Via Archaeologica)

Evolutionary Hothouse

Species evolve faster closer to the equator. Maybe that's why Brazilians are so fucking hot!

(Via Archaeologica)

Happy Mother's Day

I don't know if any mothers even read this here blog, but if they do, I just want to wish you a wonderful Mother's Day!

LMMFAO

Erotic fanfiction spoofs + Photoshopped comic book covers = HILARITY. Not for the faint-hearted or easily offended!

I'm Not Convinced

"Survival of the fittest" explains royal inter-family killing. I don't know. I mean, I can buy a biological/Darwinian component to the patterns of royal executions, but it seems a bit reductive to say it was the underlying cause. The dynastic reasons for the executions were varied and complicated and not everything can be reduced to biological drives; humans are way too effed up for that.

(Via Archaeologica)

Crisis!

Fewer books are being published in America! This is just unacceptable! What will us bookworms do as our food source diminishes? We'll be reduced to ravenous beasts, tearing each other to pieces in bookstores over the last copy of Harry Potter! It's gonna get ugly, y'all.

(Via Bookninja)

...From Sea To Shining Sea!

An articulate, insightful, and impassioned screed on the true meaning of patriotism. Couldn't have, and probably wouldn't have, put it better myself.

I wish all Americans would read that blog post, because I heard on NPR that something like 63% Americans polled by USA Today had no problem with the recently revealed NSA data gathering on ordinary Americans' phone calls. Now, delusional as I am, I like to think that this high poll number is at least partially a result of ignorance: the story just broke, the poll was a "snap," and Americans are apt to not be aware of the full ramifications of something at first. But even so, it is horrifying. I mean, on one level, I understand the thought that "if you don't have anything to hide, who cares?" I could even accept that opinion. The problem with that is you have to trust that the watchdogs are only looking for terrorists and aren't going to use the information they collect for other puproses. And I don't trust the current Administration (any Administration really, but this Administration in particular) to confine itself to looking for terrorists. First it's "monitoring" to keep us "safe," then it's breaking down the door of any teen who writes "Bush SUX" on their blog and locking them up for sedition. (They're already attacking the freedom to write snarky movie reviews.)

Please don't be sheep, Americans! For once, spend divert just half the energy you expend being "offended" by Janet Jackson's breasts, following the Brangelina pregnancy, paying attention to Tom Cruise's crazy ass, or quaking in your boots that the gays are gonna getchya to caring about something that actually matters. Please!

Lovechild! Never Meant To Beeeeeeee...

DNA tests show that it was, indeed, a polar bear/grizzly hybrid that was shot in Canada, as I posted two days ago. I only hope that the bear managed to have some cubs before its shooting. I'm afraid that, without some hybridization leading to changes in mating and hunting behavior, the polar bear might go completely extinct in the years to come. There are already indications that the melting polar ice is really hitting them hard. *sigh*

Still no consensus as to what to call the hybrid, but the proposed Linnaean classification, Ursus maritimus horribilis, sounds cool. Very butch.

A Vulcan Mind-Meld Across Cyberspace

Ninja George's katra and mine are as one on eBooks: I'll only use them when they're affordable and electronic paper good enough to give me a good approximation of "real" books.

Ursine Lovin'

Which sounds better: pizzly or grolar bear?

(Via The Colbert Report 5/8/06)

Beware!

Nerds are taking over!

Decisions, Decisions

I really can't decide if this backpack is way cool or way creepy.

(Via Defamer)

Pug Chic

The pug is the flavor of the month in Hollywood. As a former pug owner, I must say that they'll fit right in in Hollywood: they are born thinking they're already stars. They can teach those starlets a thing or two about being a true diva! Plus, they're just so darn cute! (And I don't want anyone saying, "They're so ugly!" They're not; they're beautiful.)

Another reason pugs fit in in Hollywood? Pugs also often have nose jobs, though in their case it's not cosmetic, but to breath more easily. Still, it's plastic surgery!

Eeeeeeeeevil

Advertisers are just downright dastardly.

They're Trying To Kill Me...

with adorableness! Behold: All Bunny Tuesday!

They're Jamaican, Mon!

The words "baby-mama" and "baby-daddy" are Jamaican in origin. Fascinating!

I must say, though I'm the whitest of white boys, I often use these terms. They're just so useful in this day and age of more "non-traditional" family structures.

(Via Bookslut)

Hot Nerd

I'd take check out this guy's library books any time!

I Sing The Body Necrotic

It's always nice to see a hometown non-gender make good (if by "make good" one means "mocked by a blog").

God, I'm Such A Dumbass!

You know that jingle at the end of those Kaye Jewelers' commercials? "Every kiss begins with Kaye!" Well, I always thought they just meant that "every" (obviously hyperbole) kiss began with a piece of jewelry from Kaye. I literally only realized last night that it's a play on words: the word "kiss" does indeed begin with the letter "k," which is exactly how you pronounce "Kaye." Makes a lot more sense, actually, but also makes me feel very, very, very, very, very dumb.

Totally Random Thought

I've always wondered just who the eponymous "Lucky Pierre" was and how he get a sexual position named after him.

Still More Cartoon Nostalgia

Three more of my favorite cartoons.

The Herculoids. Basically, it was a bunch of alien creatures with cool powers and a family of three space barbarians (or whatever the hell they were) versus whatever space creature came along. There was a dragon with some sort of laser coming out of his tail and eyes, a rock gorilla, a sort of rhino/tricerotops hybrid who shot missiles out of his horn, and, my favorites, a pair of jelly things who could change shape.

Johnny Quest. Seriously, The. Gayest. Cartoon. Ever! I mean, come on, Hanna-Barbera! Two single men (one named "Race"), an adopted Indian houseboy, and a sassy little dog? Do I have to show you the nude pictures of Race and Dr. Quest?

The Banana Splits. Live-action, but it had a bunch of cartoons on it, of which my favorite was The Arabian Knights. I thought Prince Turhan, the hero, was cute. The guy who turned into animals was hot, too. The show also had "Danger Island," a laughably absurd Gilligan's Island meets Indian Jones meets incompetent film-making mini-show. The racism of the way they depicted the "natives" would knock your socks off.

Vaginas Are Such A Bother

In terms of the books that are aimed at you if you have one, I mean.

I have no interest in vaginas; they're just not my thing. That doesn't mean that if you have one that you're "less," though. Far from it. Unfortunately, not all of my gay brethren are so enlightened. But despite some good-natured ribbing of my female friends about "yeasty vaginas," I am not (or at least I like to think I'm not) a queer misogynist.

(Via Bookslut)

Ass-Master Demigods of Dune = Book I Would TOTALLY Read

Unpublished Sequels to Famous Science-Fiction Novels

(Via Bookslut)

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

I'm not that crazy about Cinco de Mayo. First, I'm not a drinker, so it really holds no appeal to me. Second, while I know that it's really the same sort of cultural appropriation as St. Patrick's Day (when "everybody's Irish"/a Lucky Charms leprechaun), a holiday that doesn't bother me in the slightest despite my own proud Irish heritage, with Cinco de Mayo it just feels... wrong, somehow. It's a holiday that's been "brought" to alcoholic gringos by "Mexican" chain restaurants and tequila manufacturers. Basically, it's taking Mexico's sorta-Independence Day-equivalent and making it an excuse to wear sombreros and get lit on Coronas.

In a year such as this when "the Mexicans are gonna take over!" hysteria is so strong, it seems especially inappropriate. When I went to get clipart, I found myself horrified. I mean, I'm a big old white, liberal, non-confrontational wuss, so showing images such as the one below makes me nervous. It was clearly labelled as a joke, but it is still offensive. Maybe hanging around Oso Raro and Gayprof has made me more aware of Hispanic issues. (BTW, guys, don't hate me!)

But who cares what I think? For those of you who enjoy a libation or two, have a tequila for me and enjoy the half-price margharitas!

Ye Olde Picke-Upe Linese

Let good old Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great- Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Uncle Geoffrey tell you how to pick up chicks/dudes.

(Via Maud Newton)

A Bibliophile's Wet Dream

Books made of gold and silver! *drool*

(Via Bookninja)

Relationship Advice

When a relationship ends, don't get mad, blow something up! Yeah, you'll end up in jail, but at least you'll feel better after having shown that lying bitch what for.

Blue Is My Favorite Color

And now I know why. Oh, Anderson, you're so dreamy. *sigh* I just wish he'd come out of the damn closet already, if only to stop people arguing over whether or not he should come out of the closet.

For Gayprof

Wonder Keeshound! Hail, Amazon Puppy!

Speaking Truthiness To Power

Lots of chatter about Stephen Colbert's White House Correspondents' Dinner address. Some thought it was boring and unfunny, some thought it not terribly funny but gutsy, some though it "crossed the line," and some thought it was both funny and an incredible display of courage. Personally, I applaud him. I wish more people had the guts to stand up and say what's really going on. Totally unsurprising that he bombed: neither politicians nor their attendant journalists have a sense of humor beyond the facile. They're too full of self-importance to either get or appreciate mocking and irony.
Unfortunately, as great as Colbert's speech was, I don't think it'll change anything. The press will keep on kowtowing and navel-gazing and self-congratulating, the President and his groupies will keep on thinking he was sent by God, and the anti-Bush people will still hate Bush. Still, it needed to be said, and I salute Stephen Colbert for saying it.

BTW, does it creep anyone else out that the only Washington insider who seemed to be laughing, even at himself, was Justice Antonin Scalia? I guess when you're that evil, you can acknowledge your own evilness and find it funny. Cheney was probably yucking it up in an undisclosed location.

(Oh, and to tie it all in with the bird theme I've got going, Stephen has his own namesake bald eagle.)

Jailbird

Continuing with today's bird theme, the tale of an imprisoned parrot. These pet custody disputes are always heartwrenching, aren't they? It's always the animal that suffers.

(Via Books, Inq., via Petrona)

Bird Porn

Live nude birds!

Won't SOMEONE Think Of The Orthographers?!?

People misspell traditional phrases and cliches more than they spell them correctly. For instance, instead of the correct "strait-laced," people write "straight-laced." It's the end of civilization as we know it.

(Via Bookninja)

Hippos And Sharks And Polar Bears, Oh My!

Hippos, sharks, and polar bears are just a few of the species faced with extinction.

Those Germans And Their Apt Phrases...

To wit, schadenfreude.