Geekery Meets Classicism

‘T for Tiberius’: the original Star Trek

Molecular Biology Overload!

There's some fascinating results confirming the Laotian rock rat is the sole survivor of an ancient African lineage. But I link to the article more because those pictures are soooooooo cute! God, I've been reading Cute Overload! far too long.

"Life Is A Banquet, And Most Poor Suckers Are STARVING To Death!"

Caught one of my favorite movies of all time, Auntie Mame, the other night, appropriately enough on Logo. Is there no gay boy who doesn't dream of having an Auntie Mame? Or, to be more honest, be Auntie Mame? Brought to life by the incomparable Rosalind Russell, the larger-than-life aunt is every gay man's dream: glamorous parties, dashing beaux, madcap adventures, living life with zest and gusto and moxie, not taking crap from anyone!

Though I'm more like Auntie Lame (if, as the most famous line in the movie says, "life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death," I am an anorexic), I got to thinking about how my blogging life might stack up with Mame's.

This blog, of course, is Beekman Place.

Scott, you're my Vera, the drama queen star best friend, who never has too many martinis or mens. She's a drunken hoor, basically. Fits you to a T, eh?

GayProf, you're Agnes. Take off the glasses and you're Queen of Romania! And I just know you have a bust. Care for a Dr. Pepper?

Vince, you're O'Bannion, with poetry in your soul, and randy thoughts in your head.

Bigg and Gunn, you're my Ito and Norah. Just as Mame's faithful servants make her life possible, my blog simply wouldn't function without your faithful readership and commentary. Now, could one of you pick up my dry cleaning? Oh, and make sure you pay the butcher soon. Take the Duesenberg.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some sparkly capri pants with matching duster/cape to try on. *swirls out of the room, cigarette holder held aloft*

Skimpy Sundays

(Via Ellegedly)

But Will There Be Jetpacks?

The sci-fi future is now. Or, well, almost now. And it's up to us to make sure the cyberpunks aren't right! Or something.

(Via Bookslut)

Turn That Frown Upside Down, Writers!

Why so glum?

Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover...

But should one judge a reader by their books? Between the Norton Anthologies and Forgotten Realms and Star Trek books on my shelves, one would judge this reader as a big nerd who was an English reader; you'd be right. What's it to ya?

(Via Bookninja)

"This FULLY OPERATIONAL Battlestation!"

The real Death Star[s].

Crocodile Matchmaking

Well, False Gharial Crocodile matchmaking, to be totally accurate. I love this quote: "'He has got the right stamina and right aggression so we are very hopeful,' his veterinarian Zainal Zahari told AP." Not every day you hear a person praising the sexual prowess of a reptile in terms more commonly attributed to porn stars!

I'm Not Even A Good Lay For MYSELF!

What's the worst thing in the world? Bad sex with yourself.

Have you ever settled down for a nice masturbation session, only to have it turn out... less than satisfying. The porn doesn't do anything for you, the mood isn't quite right, the friction isn't stimulating the genitals as it should, and you just can't get the fire of lust to spark in your brain? After an hour of changing porn, squirting on more and more lube (I need a lot, anyway; my penis is kinda sensitive) that gets more and more thick and gucky, it becomes a matter of stubbornness: "I started this, damnit, and I'm going to get an orgasm out of it!" Not exactly a good time.

Lights! Camera! Implausibility!

Only in the movies, folks.

(Via Books, Inq.)

Look Out! It's Godzilla!

Godzilla the Goose, that is.

Garden of Eden

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and she would be called "woman."

God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give love and compassion whenever needed."

Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?"

God said, "An arm and a leg."

Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"

(Via Comedy Central Jokes)

Now In Cutevision!

Poor Frau Baer! A single mother of triplets!

"I'm scared, Mom!" "Don't be silly, Otto; Mommy won't let anything bad happen!"

(Via Cute Overload!)

Skimpy Sundays

*channeling Fergie* Guidolicious...

"How YOU doin'?"

(Via The Pretty Boys' Club)

Snake Bite

"I hope I'm not poisonous," said the first snake.

"Why?" asked the second.

"Because I just bit my lip."

(Via Comedy Central Jokes)

If You're Ever In Philly...

...just look for the rainbows!

I Smell Summer Blockbuster!

Font: The Movie! Sad thing is, I'd probably see this movie given the chance. Probably not in the theaters, but definitely when it comes out on DVD. That's how nerdy I am, folks!

(Via Bookninja; Maud Newton)

SOMEONE At NYT Was Having A Flaming Day!

This is like something I'd put up here! I loooove a man in plain tighty-whities, but I also can appreciate the Underoos-for-grown-men thing, too. Maybe it says something disturbing about me, but I find them cute/hot.

Also, how can I get a job writing stuff about men's underwear?

Porn Removal

I've mentioned this problem before, but it's gotten even worse and I just don't know what to do! I have a big trash bag full of porn I no longer want, but don't know how to get rid of! There's nothing wrong with any of it, I just don't want it anymore. I don't just want to throw it out: not just because it's perfectly fine, but also because I don't want to have it sitting in a landfill polluting the planet. What do I do???