I'll Scream!

I will scream if I have to watch Alicia Keyes husk her voice at and Cheryl Crow condescend to me one more time in that stupid American Express "we care, we really do; now, go run up those credit card bills!" commercials! And I appreciate a nice redheaded man, but that guy (I know he's an Olympic athlete or something, but I don't know his name) is freaky-looking. Also, what the hell is Ellen Degeneres talking about with her "joke" about the flaming swimsuit?