As I've written before, I've had little luck with online hook-up/dating sites. While every other gay man in the world seems to be able to just log on and instantly get sex, I rarely get so much as a reply to my emails! It's rather frustrating and embittering (as you can probably tell).
I've always been of mixed opinions regarding the use of silence as an implied "not interested." On the one hand, it's frustrating. An empty inbox is a sad inbox. On the other hand, it really is the kindest, most efficient way of doing things. I use it myself. And I'm much more behind the practice after an experience two days ago.
I was on Manhunt, one of the most popular gay hook-up sites. (So popular, in fact, that there's a porn movie named for and inspired by it!) I was looking through some new ads, found two I liked, and sent a similar message to both. My usual is "Hey, I like your ad. Get back to me if you're interested." I decided to mix things up, though, and sent something like, "Hey. I never know what to say in these things. In danger of being stilted or unoriginal, I'll just say that I like your ad and get back to me if you're interested." The one email: silence. The other: a very insulting reply that basically said I was fat, he wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole, and my "begging message" was pathetic.
I'm ashamed to admit that this insulting message from a random, and undoubtedly awful, person really got to me. I have self-esteem issues at the best of times, especially with regards to my looks and (lack of) sex life. His message was perfectly calculated to bring me down. I've pretty much gotten over it by now, but the experience makes me much more grateful to the other guy who just didn't bother to reply.
4 comments:
I'm with Vince. Plus, he probably didn't know what stilted meant and those boys on Manhunt can be so sensitive when it comes to issues of intelligence or even just simple vocabulary.
Bah. Whatever. He's obviously a loser with absolutely no taste.
What is this ten foot pole he speaks of, anyway? I bet his pole doesn't even reach ten centimeters.
A scumbag like that gets what he deserves: to live in himself for the rest of his life. You, on the other hand, get to be you. Game, set, match.
G
The very genesis of my own blog came out of my frustration in the lack of character spaces provided in the Manhunt profiles, where I would routinely deconstruct the need for gay men to belittle each other. True Story!
Post a Comment