Despite not having seen a single nominated film (and not even being sure I saw any movie at the theaters this year), and knowing it'd be just as boring and bloated this year as it is every year, I found myself watching the Oscars from red carpet to credits, as I inevitably knew I would.
It was just about as I expected: mostly plodding, dull, and onanastic. On the positive side, though, the set was pretty, the swing band on the stage worked a lot better than I anticipated, Hugh Jackman was charming and congenial and did a great opening number, and Queen Latifah's singing "I'll Be Seeing You" fantastically during the Annual Dead People's Popularity Contest was touching.
My only comment on the winners is that I was surprisingly sad to see Mickey Rourke lose. It can't be easy after winning EVERYTHING ELSE and have the world pretty much assume you have it sown up to then lose. (The Academy so gave it to Penn, BTW, as a sop to Teh Gayz, because they were going to give Best Picture to Slumdog Millionaire.) And, I mean, his beloved dog just died not even a week ago! Way to go, Academy. Loki is looking down from heaven and growling up a storm.
As for the only thing anyone really cares about -- the clothes of the stars -- Best Dressed among the women were Taraji P. Hensen, Anne Hathaway, Halle Berry, and Tina Fey of all people, and among the sharp men in tuxes, the hottest was, inconceivably, Seth Rogen.
The Slumdog Millionaire kids were frickin' adorable, BTW. And I can confirm, as a viewer of Skins on BBCAmerica, that Dev Patel has a great ass.
So that was the 2008 Oscars! See you next you for another orgy of self-congratulation and mutual admiration!