Why Hanukkah is Better Than Christmas
1. There's no "Donny & Marie Hanukkah Special."
2. Eight days of presents (in theory, anyway).
3. No need to clean the chimney.
4. There's no latke-nog.
5. Burl Ives doesn't sing Hanukkah songs.
6. You won't be pressured to buy Hanukkah Seals.
7. You won't see, "You're a Putz, Charlie Brown."
8. No barking dog version of "I had a Little Driedl."
9. No pine needles to vacuum up afterwards.
10. Blintzes are cheaper to mail than fruitcakes.