More Fun With Spam

I know I've been a bit obsessed with spam message message lines lately, but they're just so crazy-brilliant!

Does your witch make you sick? Cheer up!

I'll have you know that my witch is a lovely woman!

I am frightened what some people do with females!

Well, it ain't my thing, but I'm not frightened of it, per se.

Hi! This is Lesley from last Saturday night's video shoot.

Who on earth would not know this is spam? I mean, it's actual, grammatical English, yes, but just how many people are there that could go, "I don't recall a Lesley, but I did spend Saturday night shooting that YouTube video of that squirrel doing a cartwheel in the park. Lesley must have been one of those people in the background; I think I'll open this email!"?

Try and living up to them, to you will spend all seems for nothing

I just love the nonsensical poetry of this.

Divorcement Arguments. Beasts Incriminated.

Well, if someone made an ultimatum between a pet and a partner, I know I'd have a hard time choosing.