I think neuroses, at least from my perspective, break down into three categories: social, existential, and personal/OCD. Social neuroses manifest themselves in constant worry about what others think of you, with the presumption that the judgment will be negatively critical, and a concomitant avoidance of and unease with much interpersonal interaction. Existential neuroses involve an unhealthy occupation with the "big questions," such as the meaning of life, the problem of evil, the mystery of existence vs. non-existence, etc. that, instead of being interesting amusements or rewarding studies, become sources of angst and unhappiness due to the lack of concrete answers to them, the possibility that there are not answers to them, and/or the possibility that the answers are unpleasant. Personal/OCD neuroses are patterns of behavior (such as using a worry stone, or endlessly revising or redoing work to get it to make it "perfect"), thought (such as a constant vigilance for numerical patterns in anything and everything), or environmental control (such as having your books arranged in just a particular way), that attempt to relieve or ameliorate general anxieties. An uneasiness with and dislike of the unknown or the new goes along with this. In my case, for example, I don't like to drive places I've never been, particularly because I worry about not being able to find parking.
But are these neuroses, particularly those of a social kind, just a sort of negative self-obsession and narcissism? I mean, what else would you call the belief that you're important enough that anyone would pay attention to you at all, let alone expend the energy to judge you? I must admit, there are times when I'm being self-deprecating or openly insecure that I'm passive-aggressively fishing for ego-stroking compliments about how fabulous I am. That strikes me as rather egotistical.
Yet is worrying about if your neuroses are just a self-hating species of narcissism just another neurosis? Or is worrying about worrying about if your neuroses are just a self-hating species of narcissism just the ultimate expression of narcissism? Does any of that even make sense?!? My brain hurts now.
3 comments:
HAHAHA, I didn't know that deleting posts looked so ugly. *blush* sorry. *begs for forgiveness*
Hey B! (Wanted to do that for ages)
I know what you mean about fishing for ego-stroking compliments, I've done that a few times myself. *blush*
I like to think of social neuroses as a plight of the overthinkers and/or devoted academics or genetics (better for the self-esteem). Anxiety is something that can be adaptive, like preventing us from traveling in unknown (potentially dangerous) places. So not necessarily a bad thing.
Ultimately, I think you'll be just fine. Perhaps, self-hating and anxiety is only a concern about improving oneself. Anxiety is a part of the human condition, and varies according to the people you're with and the context you're meeting them in. I like to enter unfamiliar social situations by pretending that I'm not anxious, it works sometimes... lol.
Some bloggers like to play nasty. Others like to play nice, but turn kind of nasty when they have a reader who isn't sufficiently gushing and sychophantic. I think it's important that we don't allow casual invective, from brittle people who know nothing about us, to cause us pain. They have their own agendas and engaging them just takes us to a darker place. Just turn off your computer and take the dog for a run. Take care.
Stay-At-Home Gay: No need for forgiveness! I agree, I hate how ugly deleting posts is. But look up! I, as the almighty Blogger, can wipe comments out forever! Much more aesthetic.
Anyway, you make great points. Anxiety is definitely not a bad thing, in moderation, but like many thinks evolved for survival on the plains of Africa, it's not always so useful in the modern world.
Ashley: Thank you for the kind words, but don't worry, I'm fine. I actually think this post it inspired was one of my best, so I'm rather grateful! *LOL*
Post a Comment