Tuesday, September 04, 2007

The Art Of The Personal Ad

Below are the copy for my personal ads on two popular gay male "dating" sites. As you may have surmised, I don't have much luck with them. Maybe I'm just doing something wrong. So, my legion of fabulous readers (most of whom seem to be gay men, but feel free to comment no matter your sex or orientation), critique!

South Jersey Guy

Looking for guys in the South Jersey area to hang with and more. I start shy, but I'm pretty irresistible once I dazzle you with my unique combination of wit, moxy, and arcane trivia. Physically, I'm 5'10, about 170 pounds, brown/brown. Mentally and spiritually, I'm a nerd, and damn proud of it.

and...

I Am

24 year-old looking for a little fun. I'm 5'10", 170 pounds, and seven inches (cut). Hair and eyes are both brown. Moderately hairy. I start shy, but I'll win you over with my nerditude.

Looking For

Cool guys 24-45. Someone mature and good-humored who knows what they're about would be ideal. Open to all experiences.

7 comments:

Stay-At-Home Gay said...

I'm all for the "nerditude" line.

Bigg said...

Don't feel bad, kiddo. I haven't gotten so much as a nibble on any of the big three gay dating sites, either.

Zeke said...

first of all is there a picture? is the picture complementary or disturbing? are you smiling? go shave and get a really good salon hair cut, take another picture.

Cut out "Shy", put nerd into context, that is, are you a star trek nerd or a more palatable Star wars nerd?

are you looking for a date or a hookup, make sure to mention this.

If All else fails say you like chubs....you can always take them to the gym later.

scott said...

"South Jersey Guy"?!?! Thats part of your problem Frank, you're running them off by admitting your true geographic location. Try lying and calling yourself a "Philly Dog". You can always cop to your actual home 20 AFTER the first (or second or third) "date". And whatever you do DON'T admit that you live with your parents.

E said...

hi
just wanting to say hello and commiserate/share your... sense of unsettledness about personals - this is my profile on gaydar - http://gaydar.com.au/intothenight75 - so far i've had an african scammer, a guy asking me if i liked the original series of batman and another guy saying he liked how emotional I was but didn't understand it...

it's a strange world
anyway, great blog - look fwd to reading more
geoff
foucaultonacid.livejournal.com

Oso Raro said...

May I suggest something more, um, BOLD?! Mary, you'll never get anything with these Little House on the Prairie approaches! I mean, really! Take a page from Craig's List and get nasty. Since the percentage of tops to bottoms is always out of whack, go with top, even if you aren't. Honey, the responses will roll in so quick your computer will crash before you have time to send out the oligatory cock shots. Try something like this:

"Total TOP seeks bottom whore for NSA bunga bunga. Pic 4 Pic. No talking, no emotion, no intimacy, just sex."

Ah, gay love! LOL

For reals, I think your ads are fine, but a nice pic does go a long way, as Zeke says. Also, realise that online culture won't necessarily lead to nirvana, and make sure you're out and about. Good luck =)

Skye said...

I think the "South Jersey Guy" ad is perfect, so I don't know why it would not get results. The descriptive points are positive and enticing. It may be that your target market segment does not overlap with the readership of the dating site.

The second ad opens the curtains but the chosen words don't leave you wanting more.