Saturday, May 19, 2007

Fire In The Hole

Not that anyone cares, but I have an update on that straight porn I bought because of my Evan Stone (aka "Dirty Fabio on Crack") yen. Well, it finally came and I watched it the other night. I survived the experience of all that straight sex relatively unscathed; the fake boobs and yeasty orifices didn't traumatize me nearly as much as I feared.

Actually, I think it was rather educational. I now feel I have a better understanding of the labia (both minor and major) and have discovered that most straight gals, even the "professionals," really don't have very good blowjob technique. (Seriously, most of those girls need to get their fuck-me pumps to stepping and run to their gay porn brethren right quick and learn how to suck a damn cock!) Also, I don't know why, but pubic hair on women totally skeeves me out in a way men's it totally doesn't. I think it's the thought of all those "secretions" in all that brambley hair. But, at the same time, a fully shaved vulva can be kinda skeevy, too, with all the stubble and stuff. You definitely have to find a good waxer or razor, women, or else it looks like you have dermatological or venereal issues. Another thing that skeeves me out when women are involved, but doesn't when it's men, is money shots. There's just something about a man coming on a woman that makes my skin crawl; it's just gross.

Anyway, like I said, I survived the experience. I don't think I'm going to be making a very frequent habit of buy and watching straight porn, but I'm no longer frozen in terror by the prospect.


Gunn said...

Whilst I've quite enjoyed the occasional carpet-munching I'm against the idea of a woman going down on me. It just seems wrong somehow. Apparently I've done it, but I've always been completely drunk at the time.

Frank said...

Ewwwwwwwww! Gunn has cunnilingus cooties! *LOL*