I don't like to lie. I like to believe I'm a fundamentally honest person, so it makes me uncomfortable. I'm also enough of a worrier (who ME?) that I'm always afraid I'll get caught. Plus, I'm not particularly good at it. Of course, that doesn't mean I don't still do it.
I particularly don't like lying to my parents. But sometimes there's just no better option. To illustrate this, let's say I went to Seattle to visit Scott. (Don't worry, Scott, BTW; I'm not going to show up at your doorstep unbidden... for now.) What on earth would I say to my parents? That I'm going to visit this guy on the other side of the country who I've only ever met online and whom I consider a sort of surrogate big brother? Yeah, that'll go over well! My mom's paranoid about cyberstalking and stuff as it is! My only choice would be to lie.
Lying is just so much easier than the truth sometimes, which I guess is why so many people do it so often. It's just so tempting and potentially dangerous. It's very hard to know where to stop, especially for some people of less-than-strong constitution. Frankly, I sometimes worry about myself, that a flaw in my character allows me to lie with relative ease to those I love and trust (and who love and trust me in return). Am I not the good person I see myself as being? Am I just a lying schmuck? Or am I just human?
8 comments:
Like Bart said in a not-too-old episode of "The Simpsons", "I wasn't lying, I was just not telling the truth to make it easier to get what I wanted."
It's interesting you brought this up, since I was thinking about similar matters (since I haven't come out to my parents, well...).
Chad: It's good to come out to your parents -- The sooner, the better.
Frank: Lying=bad. I might sound like a stooge, but I really try never to lie. The truth might be harder, but it is always better. You can also defend the truth more easily because, well, it's the truth.
I also have been at the receiving end of many, many, many lies from different people. No matter the intention of the lie, it always hurts to be deceived in the end.
Honesty is the best policy, quoth lawyers, but if you look at the law, you'd be amazed at what's considered honest.
I generally don't lie, though one need not tell all the truth all the time; there is such a thing as too much information. And some people, like co-workers, don't need to know what I'm doing over the weekend.
While I'd generally agree with gayprof, there is a time and a place for white lies: "I like your cooking" or "Of course I'll wear that Christmas tie with the drunk Santa on it--some day."
And Chad, be careful about when you tell your parents. I've no idea about your situation in life, but if there's a chance it'll put you in danger (physical or getting thrown out of the house), make sure you'll be safe first.
You know, guys, I was hoping you'd say, "Oh, don't worry, Frank, you're a fabulous, wonderful person with the pure spirit of an angel!" Thanks for nothin'! *LOL*
Seriously, you're right, honesty IS better.
I always figure that anything you have to lie about probably isn't worth doing.
What I mean is, Why would you fly across the country to meet an e-friend anyway?
I was hoping you'd say, "Oh, don't worry, Frank, you're a fabulous, wonderful person with the pure spirit of an angel!"
Frank, dear, most bloggers (present company included) are raging egomaniacs with delusions of adequacy. But I'll think of you as a fallen angel if it makes you feel better.
Rottin': Because I want to meet said e-friend face-to-face? Because the man attracts gorgeous studs to him like bees to honey, one of which might just be kind enough to throw a sex-starved man such as myself a "bone"? Both?
Hubbard: "[R]aging egomaniacs with delusions of adequacy" is a marvelous turn of phrase. I simply MUST remember to steal it sometime?
I was hoping you'd say, "Oh, don't worry, Frank, you're a fabulous, wonderful person with the pure spirit of an angel!"
I'll step forward here, as someone who knows you on-and-off-line, and say that you are a fabulous, wonderful person.
Of course you're no angel! Everyone lies. It's a part of life. Some lying is easier than the truth, but most lies just complicate the shit out of things.
You know my brother's story. He's a compulsive liar. He lied so much that he rarely ever brought his wife around us for fear of his lies being exposed. He still does it, and because of it he can never truly form connections with people.
I worry a lot about the lies I tell, because I don't ever want to be like that. It helps keep me grounded, I think. Sometimes when I lie, I'll just confess on the spot now. It's stupid, but it's my own compulsion--not to be like him.
The simple fact that you question yourself here is a good thing. You're not a lying schmuck. You're just human.
love ya,
CB
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