I'm not a gym person. I'm not an exercise person. I'm not a sweat person. Partly it's because I'm, constitutionally, a lazy motherf*#%er. Partly it's because I'm "of the mind" more than "of the body" (aren't I just the fancypants snob?). And partly it's the fact that being an unpopular and unathletic nerd in gym class for twelve years has scarred me for life and ingrained a bone-deep aversion to physical activity.
Unfortunately, however, I'm not one of those genetic freaks blessed with the ability to do a push up every third year and still have a smoking body. So, though it somehow seems ironic to ask this on a blog (which isn't the world's most physical medium), I was wondering if you, fair readers, had any exercise regimens you wouldn't mind sharing, preferably those not involving a lot of (or, preferably, any) equipment. Something simple, with a good chance of being sticked with for a while, would be ideal. My fitness goals are rather modest: to combat a flabby chest (I'm dangerously close to developing man boobs, though ones barely requiring even a training bra), a bulging stomach, and thin arms. My ass and legs are pretty good, actually, but I don't want to neglect them, either.
Really, I just want everything to "work" together better, be more proportional and aesthetically-pleasing. Due to genetics, diet, and a lack of will to dedicate to the really strenuous working-out necessary, I will never have the sculpted body of a real Gay, or even the manly solidness of a bear, but I can improve. Advise, please!
10 comments:
OK this may be the most pathetic post I've ever read.
I'll email you a workout later today mmkay?
you know, those core training type balls really help you use your body weight to do most of the work, and it's kind of fun being off balance and all...i recommend them...
Scott: I've always known I was a disappointment to you. I'm sorry.
Kalvin: Yeah, I've always heard good things about those balls and thought of getting one. I see them all the time at the bookstore (how literary).
There's always yoga... but then I'm not sure if that's any less difficult a burden as investing in "equipment."
Do a service to your readers and make Scott's workout regimen available to all. Holiday spirit, and all that. And, make the world a more attractive place.
Signalite: I don't know, I've thought about yoga a lot, too. It's just that it would involve going out and actually interacting with people and I AM a hermit! *LOL* Actually, I have a friend who's a certified yoga instructor; maybe I should get her to teach me.
Anonymous: If Scott gives permission, I will. I don't want to get him angry; he could hurt me. *hehehe*
Your metabolism will continue to slow. Trust me, I know.
If you don't want to join a gym (an inevitability in your gay-life), I recommend a jump rope. Yeah, it conjures images of school-girls on the playground (which is bad because?). It should also, though, conjure images of boxers. Why? Because it's a ball buster of a work out.
" Yeah, it conjures images of school-girls on the playground (which is bad because?)"
You actually have to ask?
What Gayprof said: Get a jump rope in addition to the Marine Corps workout that I forwarded to you. I loves me some jump rope! and you can do it in the privacy of your room.
And you never disappoint me Frank.
Jump rope, eh? I never actually really considered it, but it makes sense. As you say, GayProf, boxers use it. And there ain't nothing wrong with being a schoolgirl! *hehehe*
Scott, thank you. I always want to make you proud of me.
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