Kyanka at Something Awful, like any red-blooded American, has an innate sense of entitlement. Hilarity ensues as he chides his dependents for not giving him anything in return for his care and attention (besides bodily fluids, apparently). It's a great read; check it out.
It also contains, like, the best line ever: "I'm such a terrible gardener that I can't even successfully grow tired at night."
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