Thursday, August 30, 2007
Technical writing is in semi-demand, so even if I end up leaving for something completely different, I could still get some freelancing out of it. And, who knows, I may really love it. And maybe it'll lead directly to bigger and better things. Funnily enough, though, what really convinced me to just go for it was my barber Barb (yes, her real name). Barb is one of those tough old broad types who takes no guff from no one and has seen enough of life to not be afraid of anything. She basically told me that I was wasted where I was, that the longer I go underemployed the harder it'd be to get fully employed, I might just end up liking it, and, even if I don't, I can always change it. Everything in life is a learning experience, and this is something that I can learn from. And life's just too short to be miserable. Sometimes you just have to jump and see what happens.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Scrubs: Patrick and Robin.
Liaison/Jiz: Jason and Liz. Liaison is often used by those either fans of, or indifferent to, the couple, while Jiz is most often used by those who don't like the pairing.
Soily: Sonny and Emily. We like to forget that coupling ever happened (skeevy!), but it comes up from time to time.
Num: Nik and Emily.
Journey: Jason and She Who Must Not Be Named (see below).
Rexis: Ric and Alexis.
LnL2: Liz and Lucky. Believe it or not, those two crazy kids were once soulmates!
LuLo: Lulu and Logan.
Sason: Sonny and Jason. The love that dare not speak its name.
JaSam: Jason and Sam.
3M: Coop (who was introduced as "3" in the Metrocourt hostage crisis) and Maxie.
Skate: Sonny and Kate.
Sexis: Sonny and Alexis.
Jaxis: Jax and Alexis.
PFMs: Poo-Flinging Monkeys. The bunch of incompetent hacks who "write" this awful, awful show.
BSC!: Bat-Shit Crazy! Used often as a prefix, as in "BSC!Sam."
xxx!xxx: The exlamation point is often used as an intensifier when talking about the most prominent trait of a character or storyline, since subtlety isn't GH's strong suit. Thus, crazy Sam is now BSC!Sam, a drugged out Lucky is Pills!Lucky, an ectoplasmic Alan is Ghost!Alan, etc.
RFS!: Robert Fucking Scorpio. The man, the myth, the legend, the criminally unused.
SWMNBN: She Who Must Not Be Named. The not-at-all-dearly-missed Courtney. Also known as CopKilla, Whoretney, and a host of other nicknames bestowed on her with love. The kind of love that's really the putrid bile of hate.
TIIC: The Idiots In Charge. Again, the "writers" who inflict all of this pain and torment upon us.
TFGH: Typical Fucking General Hospital, or Totally Fucking General Hospital, or That Fucking General Hospital, or... you get the picture.
ONS (or 3NS): One Night Stand, usually used in reference to the night of passion between Liz and Jason that led to Jake. Also known as the Three Night Stand because, as soap chronologies are wont to do, one GH night equaled three days of real time.
SORAS: Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome. The Soapworld pandemic whose major symptom is a strange localized distortion in the timestream that allows soap children to go away to camp or boarding school or even just their bedroom one age, and come back ten years older, usually either a hot teen stud or a gorgeous vixen.
NULOCH: No Upper Limit On Carly Hate. Because sometimes there are no words to express the depths of hatred one has of that shrieking shrew!
ABCD: ABC Daytime, the division of the network charged with overseeing the network's soap operas. Not doing a terribly fine job of it, considering the low-quality of said soaps in recent years.
GV: Greg Vaughan (Lucky)
JB: Julie Berman (Lulu)
KMo: Kelly Monaco (Sam)
KMc: Kimberly McCollough (Robin)
JT: Jason Thompson (Patrick)
TG: Tony Geary (Luke)
BH: Becky Herbst (Liz)
RH: Rick Hearst (Ric)
NLG: Nancy Lee Grahn (Alexis)
TC: Tyler Christopher (Nikolas)
RC: Robin Christopher (Skye)
SBu: Steve Burton (Jason)
MB: Maurice Bernard (Sonny)
LW: Laura Wright (Carly)
NL: Natasha Livingston (Emily)
GF: Genie Francis (Laura)
JZ: Jackie Zeman (Bobbie)
JG: Jason Gerhardt (Cooper)
JD: Josh Duhon (Logan)
LL: Lindze Letherman (Georgie)
KS: Kirsten Storms (Maxie)
SR: Sebastien Roche (Jerry Jacks)
BA: Bradford Armstrong (Spinelli)
MW: Megan Ward (Kate)
JE: Jane Elliott (Tracy)
IR: Ingo Rademacher (Jax)
Larry: What some call Lucky as portrayed by Greg Vaughan, who, as a result of writing (and perhaps acting choices) comes off as rather dim (if so, sooooooooooo hot). Refusing to acknowledge that the son of Luke and Laura can be so dumb (yet so hot), they hypothesize that Helena and Faison never let the real Lucky go, instead sending out this simulacrum.
Shouty McYellerson: Lucky as portrayed by Greg Vaughan's predecessor. Apparently, he shouted a lot. (I don't know from personal experience, since I was on hiatus from the show at the time, but I trust my brave fellow forumites who were watching.)
Borg/St. Jasus/Blinky: The stoic, blinking hitman with a heart of gold, friend of babies and old people everywhere, so good he can shoot "only people who deserve it" at twenty yards while shackled and handcuffed, the Christ-like (in Guza's twisted psyche) Jason Morgan.
MahBaby: The neverending storyline of young Jake's true paternity.
Lying Liar Who Lies: Liz, who, well, has told, and continues to tell many, many lies. Can sometimes be applied to other characters as well, however.
Kate's Hair: Kate's haircut can bring about world peace, it's so wonderful!
The Shiny: Becky Herbst/Liz's hair is so pretty and shiny that, on bad days when we can't stand whatever stupid-ass storyline she's in, many of us just zone out and let The Shiny, Pretty Hair soothe us into docility.
Whoretney, CopKilla, etc.: (See SWMNBN above.)
MyKill: "Sweet," hormone-deficient Michael, who killed AJ until the PFMs figured out having a kid kill his parent wasn't such a great storyline. Even after it was retconned that someone else actually killed AJ (or "killed," if you're one of those who go "lalalalalalala" when the subject comes up and insists he's really alive and well with Stefan on an island somewhere), Dylan Cash's portrayal of the kid remains really creepy, and we're all sure he's a budding sociopath. How such a thing could happen when he has such wonderful rolemodels, such as his mob kingpin father, holy hitman Uncle Jason, and screeching harpy of a mother, I HAVE NO IDEA, but there it is.
SonnyBucks: Sonny's coffee business, where everyone goes for lattes and "secret" meetings in Sonny's office in the back.
Moobster: Sonny. Unfortunately, we are occasionally "blessed" with love scenes in which Sonny takes off his shirt and shows us his stunning pair of man-boobs.
Fivehead/5Head: Amelia. The girl, especially when she first came on the show with a haircut that accentuated it, Amy Wishering's rather prominent forehead (forehead, fivehead, get it?) was most everyone knew her by. Before her true total awesomeness was totally revealed (though I knew it almost from the start), this was a moniker of total derision, but after the horrors of Numelia/Fauxmelia (a disastrous temporary recast while AW shot a pilot), and the depths of her awesomeness were revealed, it is more a term of endearment than not, most of the time anyway.
The Baby Whisperer/The Woman Whisperer (TM Schmanglang): Jason. St. Jasus just has a way with the babies and womenfolk. He understands them and makes them feel safe and comfortable and, of course, in love with him. It's natural really; women and babies are naturally inferior and thus respond to commanding virility. It's science.
In-Jokes, Jargon, and Peculiar Expressions
The Coast of Bolivia: The quintessential proof of the writers' incompetence and lack of intelligence. It's a long story, but the gist of it is that some brilliant writers gave Bolivia a coastline off of which Alcazar's yacht was moored. Only problem is that Bolivia is a landlocked, mountainous country. Yes, it did, once, have a coastline that it lost to Chile in the War of the Pacific, but that was 1883, so there is not even partial credit: it was just a colossal fuck-up.
The Gummi Bear Mafia: Since Sonny and Jason head the "good" mafia that doesn't deal in drugs and prostitution, and only kills people who "deserve it," the only activities we can come up with that keeps Jason in leather jackets and penthouses is smuggling in contraband gummi bears from Canada or something. That and gay porn. Because who doesn't like gummi bears and gay porn?
The Closet: What interesting, well-loved characters (often veterans, but not always) with tons of story potential are locked in between the two minutes of screentime they are given every six months so as not to wander onto the set and take away precious minutes of Carly and Jason with such detestable things as "talent" and "history."
Awesome Writer (TM Serial Drama): The one GH writer who actually seems to care about such silly things as plot, characterization, pacing, and continuity. He or she, sadly, is only let out of The Closet every few weeks. Sometimes also known as One Good Writer (OGW).
The Barge: A cruise ship refuge for all of those who've grown sick and tired of this awful, awful show. A glamorous setting where all the men are shirtless, Laura isn't a wig on a stick, and the Mob is a thing to abhor, not celebrate. If you need a vacation, hop a launch and come aboard!
Flying Barware/Glassware: When people get angry, glasses start flying.
Jazz Hands: One of Sonny's oh-so-charming ticks is a hand motion we like to refer to as "jazz hands."
Purple Leotard: There's really no explanation needed, is there?
Snow Globe Queen: SWMNBN could apparently stare at a snow globe for hours. Also, she was easily distracted by shiny objects.
Bullet of Love/Shot to the Head: True love. Sonny shot Carly in the head as she gave birth to his child, but this was, somehow, a sign of their codepend... I mean, love, not a signal that their relationship might not be all that healthy, or that a life in the mob might not be all that safe and secure an environment.
PodPeople: "Pod people are when TIIC (The Idiots In Charge) bring back fabulous, well-loved characters from the past and render them unrecognizable. For example, Holly Sutton Scorpio turned up during the Monkey Virus storyline holding the antidote for ransom while dozens of people, among them her former stepdaughter, lay dying. Then she, Luke and Robert went off and had hijinks in the jungle, where, among other things, she played Luke against Robert and made a pass at Dillon." (Hatpin 5502)
Reindeer Sweater: Back when Jason was Jason Quartermaine, Goody Two-Shoes Med Student, and not St. Jasus of the Borg, he was apt to wear some... interestingly dorky clothing. The reindeer sweater is the most infamous of these sartorial choices.
Teh Evul!/Teh Hotness!/Teh XYZ: "It's a play on all the crazy fans (on other boards, obviously) who can't type properly. Sometimes !!11!! is tacked on at the end. We also use OMG TEH EVUL when someone is particularly bad (or we're supposed to see him/her as such)." (dubbel zout 5504)
Retcon: Retroactive Continuity. When a show goes back and rewrites history to accommodate present-day storylines. An example of this working would be Nikolas being Laura's son by Stavros Cassadine; an example of this not working (and being a complete mess) would be Sam's ever-evolving backstory, from salvage operator to secret lovechild of Alexis Davis to con artist.
Jason's Box of "Secret" Pain: Where Jason keeps all of his painful memories and emotions. Physically, it's a glossy black box filled with pictures of Michael as a baby (when he was cute and before he became a serial-killer-in-training), Robin, and, now Jake kept on the top shelf of Jason's hall closet, next to the gun lockbox that is never actually locked. Metaphorically, it's all of Jason's blinky angst. The "secret" part comes from the fact that, while ostensibly locked away behind Jason's stoic demeanor, actually just about everyone knows about it.
The Glittery Hoo-Ha: Carly's magical vagina, that ensnares every man that comes in contact with her, making them believe that a selfish, shrieking harpy is actually the perfect woman.
"braveandstrongandloveswithherwholeheart": How the PFMs want us to see Carly, as an admirably brave and strong woman fiercely loyal to her friends and family, and not just a selfish, crazy-ass shrew with a voice modulation disorder. Originally taken from a eulogy delivered several years ago when Carly "died" (unfortunately, it didn't stick).
Word!/Wordy McWordersons!: Expressions of profound agreement with another poster's comments.
Hee!: Expression of amusement at another poster's comment or something on the show.
The Goat Pictures: The hypothetical photographic evidence of ABCD president Frons' affair with a goat that Guza (head writer) and Korte (executive producer) use as blackmail to keep their jobs on this show, despite their complete lack of talent, blatant misogyny, lack of any sort of common decency, skewed morality, disdain for the genre and its fans, and complete ineptitude.
Pirates in Em's Pants: When Emily and Nik were searching for an old Quartermaine treasure, there was a concurrent flashback storyline between a Quartermaine ancestress (who somehow looked just like Emily WHO IS ADOPTED) and a Cassadine pirate who looked just like Nik. You know, the usual suckiness.
Crazy Bitch (TM TheLabRat): That mysterious language of tortured language and "Whaaaaaaaaa?" logic in which the bat-shit crazy think and communicate.
The WhoreLair (TM KGLen): Sam's apartment, where Maxie and Sam get together to wax philosophical on their bad girl tendencies and talk about their latest schemes. Also, their "hidden" base of operations when they go out on the mean streets of Port Charles to fight crime. Okay, not really so much with the last part, but you know you'd watch a show about that! Admit it!
The House of Rage and Folding Laundry: The Spencer household before Liz and Lucky's divorce. There was lots of rage flying and laundry being folded (an act Liz used to try to avoid unpleasant confrontations) before those two finally called it quits.
The House of Regret and and Folding Unpacked Clothes (TM CydW): Liz's post-divorce abode at Audrey's. Liz's penchant for folding strikes again, this time with regret and melancholy rather than rage.
Hot But: Sam's hot tub of "but" sex. Originally a typo for "hot tub" (poor portiapm is still blushing!), it has since been embraced by the board as a term for Sam and her skanky pool of sex. Because we're all twelve years-old.
This list is neither exhaustive nor comprehensive, but it should give you some idea just what the hell we're babbling on about. New terms crop up all the time, so this list should be updated occasionally. But if you see a term or acronym you don't understand, don't feel bad, just ask! We're really a very friendly bunch. We won't bite. (We may accidentally take a chunk of flesh while wailing and gnashing our teeth at the stupidity and horridity of this awful, awful show, but we'd never bite intentionally!)
"Duck Tales eeeee wooo ew!" I went through this strange captialist-pig phase as a child (what can I say, it was the 80s) where I liked loved Donald Trump *shame!* and stuff, so I wanted to be able to swim in coins like Scrooge McDuck. Plus, I was obsessed with maps, and the treasure map graphic behind the credits fascinated me.
"Ch-ch-chip and Dale's... rescue rangers..." Chip and Dale, the gayest kids-show duo since Bert and Ernie, are detectives. Chip (or is it Dale?) wears a fedora and leather bomber jacket, while Dale (or is it Chip?) wears a Hawaiian shirt. Honestly, I don't remember anything else about it, but that damn theme song's been stuck in my head for years.
Everyone's favorite misfit, misanthropic teenage girl; snarky before there was a word for it. Except for the girl part (and the clunky shoes), I always fancied myself as inhabiting a rather Daria-esque niche in the swamp that is the high school ecosystem: the kinda shy, sarcastic loner. Her best friend Jane also reminded me of my best friend Christina; they even kind of sound alike. Also, both Daria and I liked to write, and were significantly smarter than a large portion of our peers. "Lala laaaaaaa lala lala laaaaaaa..."
More to come!
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
1) Always trying to be "fair and balanced." Seeing both, or multiple, sides of an argument or issue is great! More people, especially in politics, should try it. However, it can also lead to relativistic paralysis. Sometimes, you just have to cowgirl up and go with what you believe.
2) Introspectiveness. It's good to be self-aware, but if you stare long enough into the navel, the navel stares back at you, and you just become a neurotic, over-thinking mess. (Exhibit A: moi.)
3) Trying to see the best in everyone. Sometimes an asshole is an asshole and pretending that they're really just a nice guy or gal drags out the pain.
4) Humility. No one should be a braggart. But, on the other hand, be too self-effacing, and you'll find that people start overlooking you. Sometimes, no one else is going to toot your horn. Plus, the line between humility and lack of self-esteem, or passive-aggressive attention-seeking, can be vanishingly small.
Tagged (and we'll find out just who's really paying attention, now): Scott, Vince, GayProf, GothamWhore, and Fagat.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
This happened to me today, when I received this: "Hey man, check out these pics I took of my Ex-Wife. Man she was hot." Now, let's break this down. A man marries a hot woman who he takes pictures of, but then they divorce. Later, still apparently a little broken up about the whole thing and possibly still in love with her, he sends out an email to a random gay man such as myself telling me to click on a link and see his hot ex-wife naked. Just ponder all that for a second. It's sad, creepy, twistedly kind of sweet, douchey, and hilarious all at the same time! In other words, it's awesome! Kudos to whoever typed out that little two sentence human drama!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Your Score: Phoenician
You are the Phoenician Alphabet! Teacher of the Greeks and Etruscans, you are the one all languages bow down to. That is, until the Romans decide to wipe out your civilization. That's the way the cookie crumbles.
|The Which Ancient Language Are You Test written by imipak on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test|
(Via Amy Nelson, via Books, Inq.)
Friday, August 17, 2007
(Via Books, Inq.)
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Damnit, though, I want to do something I WANT to do! I already know what it's like to work somewhere just for the sake of working at all: not fun. And, yes, I know it's very entitled, middle-class-white-boy-with-incredibly-wonderful-parents of me to care about "being happy" and "doing what I want" and that most people in the world haven't that luxury, but I am an entitled middle class white boy with incredibly wonderful parents, so nah! *hehehehe*
Seriously, though, why can't I find somewhere I want to work that'll give me a job and not send me into fits of nervous anxiety trying to figure out whether to take it or not? Do I take this job and do something I know I don't really want to do (best case scenario, finding once I'm there that I actually do like it), or do I keep looking, as I've done for over two years with little success? *sigh* I sometimes think I was just not born to be happy or content.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
1) I haven't heard from who I once thought was my best friend in nearly a year.
2) I am more than weirdly interested in skin diseases and conditions.
3) I've suffered from trichotillomania (which I only just learned actually existed as an actual condition) since childhood. In childhood, I concentrated on my sideburns and hairline. I had bald spots and everything! In adulthood, it's my pubic hair that's gotten the brunt of it.
4) My right armpit is sweatier than my left.
5) I think I might have a third nipple, but I'm too uncomfortable to show anyone and see what they think.
6) I never learned how to ride a bike.
7) I have a worry-stone that I'm constantly rubbing. If I lose it for even a second, it sends me into an anxious fit.
8) I'm really a forty-one year old housewife from Kansas with three kids and an insurance broker husband. (Just kidding.)
Yeah, that totally wasn't worth the wait, but whatever. Since this meme has already made its way through the blogosphere, I won't tag anyone specifically for it. If you're hard up for blog content, though, feel free!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
-- Personality Disorder Test --
-- Personality Disorder Information --
I really don't know where the "histrionic" thing came from, but the rest looks pretty accurate.
(Via professorial confessions)
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Blue Tea is a unique brew of art, games, and, well, tea.
Stay-At-Home Gay is the blog of a "hardcore nerd" who prefers staying in to going out. There's only room around here for one hermit-nerd, though; you want to bring it, bitch? *LOL*
Friday, August 10, 2007
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Monday, August 06, 2007
People say "nerd" like it's a bad thing! Nerdery and geekery is an ancient and incredibly important part of human society! From time immemorial, there have been those among us who are more interested in gadgets or the minutiae of popular entertainment than in the quotidian. We've contributed to art, science, literature, drama, technology, and every other beautiful and beneficial human venture, in addition to other, more idiosyncratic fields that, though not world-shattering, add color to the palette of human existence.
Yet, for too long we have felt shame at the hands of the ignorant, the bullies, and the sportsfans, despite the fact that we contribute more to our society than any of them! The very society that laughs and derides us needs us! It is time we TOOK BACK our rightful place of respect and acceptance! It is time we let our geek flags fly high, without shame or embarrassment! Nerd Pride!
(For further, less "militant," recent ruminations on nerddom, see here. For interesting reflections on nerd/geek culture going kinda mainstream and what that means, see here.)
Sunday, August 05, 2007
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Friday, August 03, 2007
(Via Smart Bitches)
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Practices on the retail side, which of course I'm most familiar with, are just as outrageous. No matter how much I hear my bosses cry poor (especially now that my bookstore, which is independently run by the university, is probably going to be closed in favor of a chain bookstore coming to the town in which the university is), I know they're making money. I've seen papers: they get discounts, sometimes as high as fifty percent, on the books from the publishers, and then jack up the price. And then there are some books, such as in psychology, that we buy back at the end of the semester, and then keep selling them used (which is 25% below new price; like, wow, thanks...) for several semesters. They make a whole lot of money off those. Also, for most books, they don't even pay if they don't sell, they just send them back to the publisher/distributor and get credit!
So rise up, comrades, and storm the palaces! Textbooks want to be free (or at least reasonably priced)!
(Via Maud Newton, via MetaFilter)